Shouting. It's fun and
it's informative. Got a point to make? Is it valid? No!
Then SHOUT VALIDITY into your words, don't be shy.
Shouting is useful on the phone when you can't hear the other person very
well. Just shout "I can't hear you properly!" no matter
how well they can hear you. If they then ask you to stop shouting,
deny them all services and pleasantries and imagine them writhing around
on a bonfire. Who do they think they are to tell YOU to stop shouting.
The very idea of it, really.
Knowing when not to shout is also a useful social skill. Even the
beggar on the street knows that quietly asking"Can you spare some spare
change for a cup of tea, please?" in a pathetic voice, rocking back
and forth in a shop doorway, yields more pennies per word than screeching
it into earholes at a distance of inches. I myself would conquer this
system, if destitute or simply in one of my rages, by shouting "CAN
YOU SPARE ME SOME CHANGE FOR A DEAF-AID, PLEASE???" Never change
the format of this joke ever and perhaps Channel 4 will give
you a series of your very own.
Let us face it, lists are rub-bish, but you're getting a face full of them
rammed down your bitch-slot anyway - yeeehaaa! But now you have have
your shout and contribute to the crazy new internet crazy craze yourself,
bloody. I'll even give you credit for doing so, if you want, but only
if you're bad batch and I don't want to be associated with your dreadfulness.
Any good suggestions I'll reword and say I did them - yay!
Not really, you big silly goose! Now come down off the wardrobe and
have a fag and a bit of cake, for God's sake.
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| Said - Then Dead |
Dying
words. I emailed around for suggestions on this and somebody told me that
Bubblegun also has this, but I didn't steal the idea, daddy! Anyway
he's probably so pig-headed that he wouldn't even consider contributions from
you, yes you, and you're lovely. I sometimes try to touch you when you're
sleeping. |
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| Old Man's Repertoire |
Things
that old people say - again and again and again and agai....
Utter tripe that NOBODY will ever submit to or even
find remotely funny. Somebody tell me they like it even a little
bit, or it's going the way of electric flesh. |
|
Coming
Soon: Obsessive Compulsive Disorders.
I had one during my childhood and another really strange one later on - it even
gave me an excuse to be lazy!
I think they're brilliant; sometimes funny, sometimes cute, sometimes sad - a
boo hoo. So start submitting now at the usual address, telling me of yours
or others temporary or long term slavery to cracks-in-the-pavement madness. |
OCDs |
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