Dear Mr. Spoon,
Are you actually the Mr. Spoon who was featured
for 6 years upon the Steve Wright In The Afternoon Show? Or are you
Mr. Spoon who went to Button Moon on the popular LWT children's show?
This level of confusion is making me feel
very, very odd.
I decided to repaint my front lawn today,
and did so using only the yellow liquid which is exuded by scared ladybirds.
My neighbour called me 'A Stupid Mother Of Lords.'
I am glad that you have the ability to piss
out yellow paint from your eyes and I hope that you will walk around
the whole of the British isles so that there is nowhere left for anyone
to park. All parking annoys me; I think that people should not have
it both ways...either they drive ALL the time or don't bother. I know
it's an impractical idea, but bear in mind that it is also a stupid
one.
 Poem For Janine
You are lovely with your nasty ways
You are Frank's daughter but you don't wear
glasses like him
You were horrible to Terry and also to Terrance,
your little dog bought for you by love-lorn Billy
What have you got against all Tels? Were
you insulted by one?
Or did you just find Minder offensive? (As
Did I, My Love.)
Now you are on the game; but that's not a
shame.
I'd pay you good money to be really horrible
to me.
But I guess that you charge more
for that sort of thing.
 Janine
with two of her favourite Steam Traction Engines of the past. I worship
her in ways that YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW ABOUT.I have a love-temple for Janine where I kneel
and stare at her pictures for hours on end until I receive the Wisdom
Of Butcher. At that time I usually rise up and perform some abomination
or other. I actually own one of her used articles.
I am a musician and have recorded a
song of love for dear Janine. Would you like me to send it to you? I
play the banjo, you know.
All The Very Best To You,
CJ Barjos of Welwyn Garden City.
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