Hello, my little chicken!

For some reason you have decided that you want to email me.  And I'm really touched.  No, really... I am.

I suppose it'll just be abuse telling me how rubbish I am and how crap my site is, or saying Why do you promise all and deliver nothing with all this Coming Soon larkery, hmm?.  But that's just fine.  Notice the self depricating nature of this text.  It's almost like Anne Robinson is asking people why they voted for Bill on The Weakest Link and they say, Well if I could have voted for myself I would have, I was just as bad as he was.

Well no matter how much you are cussinge me uppe I will always love you back... always.  Unless you're a plug ugly hound that is!  Shit no!  You can fuck that for a game of soldiers.  Back to your filthy kennel, darling.  Have you no shame!

Send your karma here: Hello_Mr_Spoon@yahoo.com or use this stupid form.

You can even send me a picture of yourself, if you like, and I will tell you if your visage pleases me.  But make sure it's a fairly small Jpeg of Gif (Pronounced Jif, like those little lemons.  The skin is quite tough on those, but they're ever so juicy!) because I've only got like 6 Meg of email space.  And please don't send me a naughty picture from some nuddy books like my uncle has on the top of his wardrobe.  He's a batchelor, you know, and that means he's allowed to have a cup-a-soup whenever he wants.  Jammy sod.

[Mr-Spoon.com]