Beautiful garden of the McToodles!
With two silly cats, but devoid of poodles
Where ninety souls assembled together
On the wettest Saturday of 1999,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.
'Twas about midday, with no sunlight
And the wind it blew with all its might
And the rain came pouring down,
And the black clouds seem'd to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem'd to say-
"I'll etherise the newsgroup of the far-flung umrae" (Wha hae!)
The umrae hearts were light and felt no sorrow,
Because Hankel promised chocolate plums,
Ensuring that everybody comes
In great expectation of delight and delectation
Yet many of the gathering with fear did say-
"I hope there will be enough chocolate plums today."
Earlier, when the trains had arrived at the Three Guineas,
There were many of whom drink had made ninnies.
They shook the central girders of the station at Reading
With their loud celebrations, as if for a wedding,
On Saturday 22nd May, 1999
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.
So the barbeque proceede with great might,
And the Bonnie PANCAKE soon hove in sight,
And the umrae hearts felt light,
Thinking how, soon, they would be sucking his plums,
(And to this dainty they raised their thumbs)
Saying, "Eat them quickly, before Peter Hesketh comes".
So the BBQ proceeded until it was midway,
Then the charcoal brazier with a crash gave way,
And down went the Gloucester Old Spot into the wet clay!
The thwarted assembly did loudly bray,
Because ninety sausages had been snatched away,
On the 22nd May, 1999,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.
As soon as the catastrophe came to be known
The people wept, even those full-grown,
And the cry rang out across the lawn,
"This is simply not to be borne!
The barbeque has fallen, pell-mell,
Burning a hole in the turf as well!"
Which made all the people turn pale,
Because, like Jaaaahn, none of the sausages liv'd to tell the tale
Of how the barbeque collapsed on 22nd May 1999.
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.
It must have been an awful sight,
To witness in the damp firelight,
While the storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,
Along the McToodles garden at the midday
Oh! ill-fated food of the hungry umrae,
I must now conclude my lay by telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That your charcoal barbecue would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had it been protected on each side with mattresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger our barbeques are constructed,
The less chance we have of our sausage-eating being disrupted.
--
Mary SODAM. PISS Artiste (LSS), Keeper of the Golden Bog Brush.