See! Thor has found himself a place
To hurl his bolts with greatest pace
Targeting a garden in Reading,
Where the bald, the hirsute and the slightly shedding
Have gathered with joy, as if for a wedding.
There the barbecue was erected
(Steely construction that breaks not!)
And the smell of pork was first detected
Burnt, by Toodles, who forgot,
Panicked by the black sky.
The melancholy umrats sigh.
(fx: gale force eight)
No beams from Thor's holy heaven come down
On this, the dreichest day in that town,
But light from out the thunderbolts
Flashes around the lawn and jolts
A terrified umrat who turns and bolts;
Past trees, down the path, into the privy-
While the lightning bolts continue to chivvy
Around the underwater flowers.
On the gazebo the hail now showers--
And the sacrifice at Shula's shrine
(Where tired umrats libate their wine
Dild, and ale, and juice of the vine.)
(fx: gentle snores)
Resignedly beneath the sky
The saturated umrae lie.
Jove be thanked that we have a gazebo!
Yet Thor still threatens us - does 'e know
That all around the storm- toss'd town
Saturn looks menacingly down?
The deep cascade now misbehaves
By drenching us beneath its waves,
Fearfully, we cling to flotsam
Where's the sausages gone? We lost 'em,
(Gone - certainly, but not hidden.
To hide the sausage would be said
To tempt anyrat that will be bidden
To come and share a cosy bed.)
Up Eastcourt Avenue come the life boat
Throwing lifebelts to Forty two
Floating past in the watery cataract
Drowning umrae at last heave to.
Where is the spell this could counteract?
(fx: Doom music)
Yet, lo! the water level's dropping!
Could be the storm will soon be stopping,
And the BBQ go with a bang...
Or a meringue?
(fx: breaking egg shells, sugar pouring, Mouli mixer, oven door
opening and closing)
SODAM.
(Rolls up scroll gravely and bows to the multitude, some of whom have
travelled from other continents for just this moment. Rapturous applause.)
--
Mary SODAM. PISS Artiste (LSS), Keeper of the Golden Bog Brush. BTM.