Uncle Ebenezer's whiskers were a wild and woolly mass,But those whiskers were the pride of Auntie Lou.
When he courted her and whispered 'Do you love me, little lass?'
She would stroke them and caress them, and say'l do! I do!'
Whiskers an 'all aye, whiskers an' all!
And when they knelt in Church and our old Parson with a drawl
Said 'Now will you take Ebenezer; Love and
cherish him, Louisa?'
Auntie said 'Not half! Yes please sir; Whiskers an' all!'
But our Uncle Ebenezer used to gamble, drink and swear,
And his raspb'ry nose was just as red as paint.
Then he went and got converted, and out in the open air
He would preach to all the people, and look just like a Saint.
Whiskers an'all! aye, whiskers an'all!
'Dear friends I used to be a wicked sinner,'he would bawl.
'In beer and rum, I used to'waller'. Dirty shirt and dirty collar!
Now I'm clean,'and they'd all holler, 'Whiskers an'all!'
Mrs Binns's Twins
But our Uncle Ebenezer died; one night he drew a breath,
And he swallowed all his whiskers in his sleep.
And the Doctor said they'd accident'lly tickled him to death,
But the Undertaker buried dear Uncle very cheap.
Whiskers an'all! aye whiskers an'all!
And still they grew and grew right thro' the Earth; it may sound tall
But in Australia playing cricket, Bradman shouted,
'I can't stick it
Look what's growing round the wicket; Whiskers an' all!'
Poor old Auntie sat one night upon his gravestone cold and damp,
Saying, 'Ebenezer tho' we used to fight.
And the neighbours still
declare you were a good for nothing scamp,
Oh! I miss you, yes, I miss you upon a winter's night.'
Whiskers an 'all! aye, whiskers an'all!
Then Riley's goat came us and poked his head beneath her shawl
She
felt the beard upon his chin, an' said, 'It's not a ghost, it's him
An'up to his old games agin! Oh! Whiskers an' all!'
