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Playwrights and novelists are likely to go insane;
the surveys claim to show it,
it's best to be a poet.
Don't mind if first you find
that it tends to sound inane,
just let your hypermania
sustain ya.
If you have to think, you will turn to drink
or indulge in swings of mood,
but a simple rhyme keeps your mind sublime
and your passions well subdued.
So write verse, and keep it terse,
and you'll save your ailing brain,
but playwrights and novelists are likely to go insane.
Playwrights and novelists are likely to go insane;
the Guardian's got statistics
it claims are realistic.
They say the cells of grey
will suffer an undue strain,
we're such industrious blighters,
we writers.
Now the survey rates all the writing greats
on a scale of one to six,
and they claim it shows if you write in prose
you'll end up with nervous tics.
So take time to make it rhyme
and you'll save a lot of pain,
but playwrights and novelists are likely to go insane.
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Congratulations! You have come to one of the few remaining havens of
sanity and credibility in a world gone mad. Want to know the antidote to madness (according to no lesser an authority than the Guardian)? Then, read on. (If your relationship with your neighbours isn't important to you, you can actually sing it to the tune of Mad dogs and Englishmen, but if you do it's your responsibility.) |
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