Possible Future Trends in 'Wares'

First, there was 'shareware', programs available over the internet that you could pay for if you wish, and 'freeware' which was free no matter how philanphropic you felt. Now, there have been some more additions - recently 'careware' was reported, which is a program that you can download and use, but you have to agree to be nice to people in return. So what other types could appear?

• Dareware - you can download it, but you have to do something outlandish in return.
• Warfareware - In return for downloading it, you promise to kick the arse of someone who's arse deserves kicking.
• Bareware - You can use this program, but have to take all your clothes off first.
• Flareware - In a disco revival mood, you have to be wearing trousers which are airy around the ankles to use this program
• Pearware - you can download this for free, but it's not going to work for long before it all goes pear-shaped
• Rareware - Free to download, but since its only of interest to two people in the entire world and one of them wrote it, you probably won't want to.
• Wereware - You can download it, but the program is going to turn into a complete dog at random moments
• Fairware - Free to download, once you've managed to shoot three of the plastic ducks parading past
• Glareware - This program will have you glaring in anger at your screen very quickly
• Prayerware - You can download it, but you'll need at least one deity on your side to make it work.
• Scareware - Free to download, but it'll scare the shit out of you at random moments.
• Hairware - No cost to download, except that the author is fed up of people making fun of his hairdo, and insists you change yours to the same.
• Tearware - you can run it for nothing, but it'll have you tearing your hair out trying to get it to work properly.
• Au contraireware - Does exactly the opposite of what it claims to do.
• Snareware - Once you've downloaded it, you'll discover that although the program was technically free, your soul is now owned by a
  Mr B. Gates of Seattle.
• Wherewere - You could download this for free, except you can't find the actual link to do so.
• Nightmareware - Dowloading this program will cause you bad dreams for weeks to come.
• TonyBlairware - Great graphics, cool sounds, but in fact it not only utterly fails to do what it claimed it would, it's merely a repackaging of an old piece of software that everyone threw out in disgust as soon as they could replace it.

Any comments can be forwarded to me here, where they will in all probability be ignored. Last updated on 29 May 2001