This program worked by distorting the logic of a sequence of events, resulting in a computerised barrage of abuse. However some trains of logic made perfect sense, which rendered the insults irrelevant.

Program SAMPLE:

What Happened? A woman assaulted me.

Can You Say Why? I exposed myself.

Explain? My trousers fell open.

Why? My belt is broken.

Why? I eat too much.

Can You Explain? I’ve got big bones.

So the underlying reason for A woman assaulted me is because, apparently, I’ve got big bones!!

Agony Uncle disk, complete with printer-optional enhanced version.