Chris's Alphabet of Songs

 

A Air - Kelly watch the stars

B Beatles - Something

C Coldplay - Clocks

D Duran Duran - Reflex

E Erasure - Breath of life

F Four Tops - If I was a carpenter

G Genesis - Home by the sea

H Housemartins - Build

I Inspiral - Carpets How it should be

J Jam - Where you're young

K Kinobe - Summer in the Studio (I think)

L Levellers - I have no answers

M MUSE - Plug in Baby

N Numan - Are friends electric?

O OMD - If you Leave

P Prodigy - Charley

Q Queen - Under Pressure

R Rush - Afterimages

S Smiths - Boy with the thorn in his side

T Therapy - I think I've gone insane

U U2 - Two hearts beat as one

V Verve - Blue

W Wonderstuff - Give Give Give More More More

X XTC - Senses working overtime

Y Yazz - The Only Way is Up

Z Zoe - Sunshine on a rainy day

 

 

Max's Alphabet of Songs

 

A Adamski - Killer

B David Bowie - Sound and Vision

C Charlatans - The Only One I Know

D Durran Durran - Hungry like the Wolf

E Eels - Novocaine for the SOul

F Feeder - Just a Day

G Guns n Roses - Patience

H Happy Mondays - Step On

I Inspiral Carpets - This is How it Feels

J The Jam - That's Entertainment

K The Kinks - Lola

L Led Zepplin - Custard Pie

M Muse - Plug in Baby

N Gary Numan - Are Friends Electric?

O Ocean Colour Scene - The Day we caught the Train

P Pearl Jam - Alive

Q Finlay Quaye - Sunday Shining

R The Rolling Stones - Paint it, Black

S The Stone Roses - I am the Resurrection

T Therapy - Screamager

U Ugly Kid Joe - Everything About You

V Village People - In the Navy

W Paul Weller - Broken Stones

X Xzibit - X

Y Yard Birds - Boom Boom

Z Zombie Nation - KernKraft 400

 

 

Max's Top 5 Free Things you got with Cereal (send away inc.)

 

5. Shreddies - Stickers and Scenes (on boxes) - Ghostbusters

4. Cornflakes/Rice Crispies - Models of Yesteryear Model T Ford

3. Various - Glow in the Dark Stickers

2. Cornflakes - Soda/Baking Powder Submarines/Speedboats

1. Unknown - Aerobie Sprint

 

 

Max's Top 5 Things to do on a Sunday

 

5. Roast Dinner

4. TV/Film/DVD

3. Very Little

2. Car Boot Sale

1. Clean Car et al

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Favourite things to do on a Sunday

 

5. DVD

4. Big dinner

3. Nothing

2. Have it off

1. Football

 

Max's Top Five Months

 

 

5. June

4. July

3. August

2. December

1. September

 

Chris's Top 5 months

 

5. September

4. May

3. August

2. June

1. July

 

 

Max's Top 5 2005 Premiership

 

1. Arsenal

2. Chelsea

3. Man Utd

4. Liverpool

5. Everton

 

 

Max's Top 5 2005 Championship

 

1. Ipswich

2. Leicester

3. Southampton

4. Norwich

5. Wolves

 

 

Chris's Top 5 2005 Premiership

 

1. Chelsea

2. Arsenal

3. Man Utd

4. Liverpool

5. Middlesborough

 

Chris's Top 5 Championship

 

1. Leceister

2. Norwich

3. Crystal Palace

4. Wolves

5. Southampton

 

 

Max's Top 5 Airlines

 

5. Virgin

4. Quantas

3. American Airlines

2. Lufthansa

1. BA

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Airlines

 

5. United

4. American Airlines

3. BA

2. US Air

1. Virgin

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Lagers (Not Stout/Bitter etc)

 

5. Red Stripe

4. Rolling rock

3. Kronenburg 1664

2. Stella

1. Nastro Azzurro

 

 

Top 5 Lagers (Not Stout/Bitter etc)

 

5. Castlemaine XXXX

4. 1664

3. Calsberg

2. Fosters

1. Michelob

 

 

Max's Top 5 Likely ways I will die.

 

5. Mugging/Stabbing/Etc

4. Heart Attack

3. Freak Accident

2. Old Age

1. Cancer

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Likely ways I will die. (Heh I love these ones)

 

5. Car crash

4. Heart attack

3. Cancer

2. Stroke

1. Old age. (Things shutting down coz I'm really old)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Pointless things I have done.

 

5. Went to Ireland to meet a "girlfriend" who had asked me to come over only to find out within hours of landing that she was seeing her former boyfriend again.

4. Tried to read Ulysses by James Joyce

3. Helped Richard decorate his flat.

2. "Dated" Three girls that have lived in the US.

1. Played one track off every album I owned until I had gone through the lot.

 

 

Max's Top 5 Pointless things I have done.

 

5. Joined Kingsbridge Cricket Club

4. Worked at a Fruit Shop at 14 or 15 for a pittance

3. Built spanking new kitchen in 98 Homefield, only for the place to be bought by a firm that would have bought it anyway.

2. Maths A-Level (2 years wasted)

1. Started seeing Lisa again.

 

Max's Top 5 Reasons Why it is good we got the 2012 Olympics

 

5. London only city to hold it 3 Times

4. Great regeneration for East End

3. Great to See Olympics in our own country.

2. We beat the Yanks.

1. We beat the French.

 

Chris's Top 5 Reasons Why it is good we got the 2012 Olympics

 

5. We will probably win more medals. (But only a few)

4. Jobs

3. Country finally gets some Olympic standard facilities.

2. Increased attention given to Olympic sports in this country

1. National pride.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Reasons Why London 2012 Probably isn't a good idea. (Although I am pleased we beat the French!!!)

 

5. Brits are born losers. (Even our few winners makes us losers)

4. All the contracts will probably go to foreign companies who are better and cheaper than us.

3. London just isn't Glam like Paris, Madrid, New York

2. Our track record isn't good (Wembley, millenium dome)

1. Increased taxes

 

 

Max's Top 5 Reasons Why London 2012 Probably isn't a good idea.

 

5. We wont be ready

4. UK Summer?

3. We wont win any good medals in our own country

2. The French will laugh at us

1. It won't make a profit

 

 

Max's Top 5 Nuts.

 

5. Macadamia

4. Almond

3. Coconut

2. Pistachio

1. Peanut

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Nuts.

 

5. Hazlenut

4. Brazil

3. Peanuts

2. Pistachios

1. Cashews

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Habits.

 

5. Morning coffee at work

4. Squeeze spots

3. Morning routine

2. Fart

1. Pick nose

 

 

Max's Top 5 Habits.

 

5. Rev at Traffic Lights, the race, (even if old lady in Mini is next to me)

4. Burp/Fart

3. Pick Nose

2. Pick/Bite Toe/Finger Nails

1. Pick Scabs/Spots

 

 

Chris's Top Five Reasons why Live8 was Shite

 

5. It's been done before, with a more naive fresh belief. Never try to recreate the past.

4. Old past it rich artists trying to tell people how to feel about poverty

3. Pete Doherty

2. Will Smith (The only 5 minutes I actually watched. Awful)

1. Bob Gandolf

 

 

Max's Top Five Reasons why Live8 was Shite

 

5. Too Polished

4. No Afican Artists

3. African Girl from '85 Paraded like meat

2. Pete Doherty

1. Bob Geldoff

 

 

Max's Top 5 Male baby names.

Pending

 

5.  Rufus

4.  Benjamin

3.  Mick

2.  Ted

1.  Seth

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Male baby names (Its odd, I nearly did this two months ago)

 

5. Mitch

4. Jack

3. Freddie

2. Sam

1. Joe

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Puddings

 

5.  Any Cheesecake

4.  Lemon Merangue pie

3.  Chocolate souffle

2.  Christmas Pudding and Cream\custard

1.  Rhubarb Crumble and Custard

 

 

Max's Top 5 Puddings

 

5.  Christmas Pudding and Cream

4.  NY Cheesecake

3.  Strawberry Crumble and Custard

2.  Apple Pie & Custard

1.  Chocolate Sponge Pudding & Choc Custard

 

 

Chris's Top Five Meals

 

 

5. Spicey Sausage bake

4. Baked Salmon fillet

3. Ceaser salad with chicken

2. Curry (Chicken spinach)

1. Filet steak (Chateaux Briand)

 

 

Max's Top Five Meals

 

 

5. Sausage and Chips (Chip Shop Style)

4. Roast Dinner (Any Variety - Chicken if pushed)

3. Lasagne

2. Hot Chilli and Baked Spud

1. Chinese Chicken Curry and Chips

 

 

Max's Top 5 High street banks

 

5. Abbey. Funky Coffee Shops in Store

4. TSB

3. Midland (White Soldiers Moment) - They were cool in the 80s with Griffin Bags and Dictionaries.

2. Barclays.

1. Natwest.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 High street banks

 

5. Nat West

4. Royal Bank of Scotland

3. HSBC

2. Lloyds

1. Barclays

 

Chris's Favourite Out of Date Piece of Technology (This was tricky for me)

 

5. PCMCIA card

4. APS camera (At least it was small)

3. Tape Deck

2. Record Player

1. Cassette Walkman

 

 

Max's Favourite Out of Date Piece of Technology

 

5. Cassette Walkman

4. GameBoy

3. Rotary Phone

2. Atari 2600

1. Record Player

 

 

Max's Top 5 Motorbike Brands

 

5. Suzuki

4. Vincent

3. Honda

2. Triumph

1. Norton

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Motorbike Brands

 

5. Kawazaki

4. Yamaha

3. BMW

2. Suzuki (After my old cat)

1. Ducati

 

Chris's Top 5 Crisps (as a kid)

 

5. Skips

4. Wotsits

3. Outer Spacers

2. Monster Munch

1. Discos

 

 

Max's Top 5 Crisps (as a kid)

 

5. Square Crisps

4. Ringos

3. Frazzles

2. Hula Hoops

1. Monster Munch

 

 

Max's Top 5 Boats/ships

 

5. QE2

4. Titanic

3. Mary Rose

2. Mayflower

1. HMS Bounty

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Boats/ships

 

5. HMS Hood

4. QE2

3. Titanic (Only because of the event)

2. Bismark

1. HMS Victory

 

 

Max's Top 5 Aeroplanes

 

5. Tornado

4. B17

3. F16

2. Spitfire

1. Concord

 

 

Max's Top 5 Aeroplanes

 

5. Harrier Jump Jet

4. Wellington Bomber

3. Lancaster Bomber

2. Concorde

1. Spitfire -------> Could have chosen the Hurricane, but nah!

 

 

Max's Top 5 worst places visited.

 

5. Milton Keynes

4. Corby

3. Blackpool

2. East Ham

1. Luton

 

 

Chris's Top 5 worst places visited.

 

5. West Bromwich

4. Certain parts of Langley

3. Longton

2. Estate near my secondary school

1. Kilburn

 

Max's Top 5 Cover Versions

 

5. Singing in the Rain - Gene Kelly

4. GnR - Knocking on Heavens Door

3. Tainted Love - Soft Cell

2. Aerosmith - Come Together

1. Nirvana - Man Who Sold the World.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Cover Versions

 

5. UB40/Chrissy Hynde - I got you babe

4. Nirvana - Man Who Sold the World

3. Baby Ford - Children of the Revolution

2. Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal

1. No Doubt - Its my life

 

Max's Top 5 single duets. (Not Band and singer)

 

5. I got you babe - Sonny and Cher

4. I need a Hero - Bonnie and Meat

3. Don't go Breaking My Heart - Elton John/Kiki Dee

2. Up where we belong - Cocker and Warnes

1. You're so Vain - Carely Simon/Mick Jagger

 

 

Chris's Top 5 single duets. (Not Band and singer

 

5. Ebony and Ivory - MacCartney/Wonder

4. Don't go breaking my heart - Elton John/Kiki Dee

3. Islands in the stream - Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton

2. Dancing in the street - Bowie/Jagger

1. You're the one that I want - Travolta/Newton-John

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Anti-Heroes

 

5. Thomas Covenant (The unbeliever) - Knocked Withnail off the list.

4. Alien

3. Rorschach (Watchmen)

2. Judge Dredd

1. Homer Simpson

 

 

Top 5 Anti-Heroes

 

 

5. Blondie (The man with no name) - The Good, The Bad, the Ugly.

4. Long John Silver

3. Gollum (Sméagol)

2. Max Rockatansky

1. Ben Johnson - Even now, factoring in wind and technology fastest man on Earth? Drugs Schmugs

 

Max's Top 5 bugs

 

5. Butterfly

4. Dragonfly

3. Woodlouse

2. Red Ant

1. Spider

 

Chris's Top 5 bugs

 

5. Hornet

4. Caterpillar

3. Stag Beetle

2. Bee

1. Ant

 

Chris's Top 5 Radio Stations

 

5. London 94.7 - Sandy Tostvig lunch time

4. Radio 1 - Moyles

3. XFM - Which I can't get on my car radio.

2. Radio 4 - 18.30 to 19.00 (News quiz, Just a minute, I'm sorry I haven't a clue)

1. Radio 2 - Ross

 

Max's Top 5 Radio Stations

 

5. Heart - Theakston

4. XFM - Gervais and general music

3. Capital - General London Sound

2. Radio 2 - Ross

1. Radio 1 - Moyles

 

 

Max's Top 5 Football Strips

 

5. Plymouth (new one is purdy cool... Puma makes it)

4. Holland (Netherlands ?! :)

3. Brazil

2. Newcastle

1. AC Milan (The Team sponsered was by Pirelli?)

 

Chris's Top 5 Football team kits

 

5. Norwich (Or Nantes. Same)

4. Internationale

3. Holland

2. Brazil

1. Florentina

 

Chris's Top 5 Favourite Gays

 

5. Tom Cruise

4. Andy Bell

3. Matt Lucas

2. Boy George

1. Stephen Fry

 

Max's Top 5 Favourite Gays (male)

 

5. George Michael

4. Graham Norton

3. Michael Stipe

2. David Bowie (?)

1. Strephen Fry

 

 

Max's Top 5 Things to do with your mate\mates

 

5. Pub/Club/Dance (Rock n Roll dude)

4. Do man things, (non-gay), mend car, go to tip etc.

3. Watch Film

2. Play Video Games

1. Good Drink and Chat Session

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Things to do with your mate\mates

 

5. Partying (And dude, we party hard)

4. Visit fun places

3. Watch Football

2. Play games (Any game - video or board)

1. Play Football

 

Chris's Top 5 Last Songs I downloaded (If you don't include the ones you got me)

 

5. The cutter - echo and the bunnymen

4. Is there something I should know - Duran Duran

3. Maid of Orleans - OMD

2. Jerk it out - Ceasers

1. Simple minds greatest hits album

 

 

Max's Top 5 Last Songs I downloaded

 

5. Eric Clapton - Behind the Mask

4. Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc

3. I Monster - Daydream in Blue

2. Blur - Chemical World

1. Modest Mouse - Float On

 

 

Max's Top 5 Film Themes (Sorry ponced your idea)

 

5. Italian Job (new one) - Money - Pink Floyd

4. Withnail and I - Hendrix

3. Quadrophenia - Who

2. Star Wars - ANH

1. The Breakfast Club - Simple Minds

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Film Themes (Sorry ponced your idea)

 

5. Platoon

4. The Italian job (Original film)

3. Star Trek movie (Was speeded up for TNG)

2. Superman I

1. Kelly's Heroes

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Favourite TV Themes (inc Childrens TV)

 

5. Battle of the planets

4. Rocco's modern world

3. Buffy the vampire slayer

2. Mysterious cities of gold

1. Miss Marple

 

 

Max's Top 5 Favourite TV Themes (non Childrens TV)

 

5. Cheggers Plays Pop

4. Rentaghost

3. Knight Rider

2. Dukes of Hazzard

1. Magnum PI

 

 

Max's Top 5 favourite item's of women's clothing

 

5. Low Cut Tops

4. Tight Jeans

3. French knickers

2. Hot pants.

1. Brassiere

 

 

Chris's Top 5 favourite item's of womens clothing

 

5. Hot pants.

4. Floaty summer skirt

3. French knickers

2. Vest tops

1. Stockings

 

 

Chris's Top 5 CDs that shouldn't be, but are, in his collection

 

5. Bryan Adams - Cuts like a knife (LP)

4. Texas - Southside (LP)

3. Madonna - greatest hits

2. Belinda Carlisle - greatest hits

1. George Michael -Faith (LP though)

 

 

Max's Top 5 CDs that shouldn't be, but are, in his collection

 

5. Beatles - No.1

4. Bon Jovi - Bon Jovi

3. Whitesnake - Slip of the Tongue

2. Bill and Ted 2 - OST

1. Scorpions - Crazy World - Zee French, zey love eeeit.

 

 

Max's Top 5 Madonna songs

 

5 Borderline

4 Who's that Girl

3 Like a Virgin

2 Take a Bow

1 Like a Prayer

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Madonna songs

 

5. Whose that Girl

4. La Isla Bonita

3. Like a Prayer

2. Power of Goodbye

1. Beautiful Stranger

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Blur Songs

 

5. For Tomorrow

4. Tracey Jacks

3. There's no other Way

2. Chemical World

1. This is a low

 

 

Max's Top 5 Blur Songs

 

5. Charmless Man

4. Coffee and TV

3. End of a Century

2. There's no other Way

1. Chemical World

 

 

Max's Top 5 Oasis songs

 

5. Champagne Supernova

4. Roll with it

3. Hello

2. Supersonic

1. Whatever

 

Chris's Top 5 Oasis songs

 

5. Don't look back in anger

4. Acquiesce

3. Some might say

2. Wonderwall

1. Supersonic

 

Chris's Things that People have/Wear Do that isnt right.

 

5. England tattoos (Or any football team)

4. Breast implants

3. Bald head and a massive beard (Head upside down)

2. Do over the top gaudy Xmas decorations on the outside of their house

1. Leather Phone Pouch, on Belt. (It has to be)

 

 

Max's Things that People have/Wear Do that isnt right.

 

5. Peak Cap, resting on head, rude style.

4. Looking up through Glasses (over the top)

3. T-Shirt Tucked in.

2. Comb Over

1. Leather Phone Pouch, on Belt.

 

 

Max's Top 5 Party nibbles

 

5. Iced Gems

4. Pringles

3. Chocolate Fingers

2. Cheese and Pineapple

1. Sausage on a Stick

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Party nibbles

 

5. Kettle chips

4. Cashew Nuts

3. Cheesey Footballs

2. Twiglets

1. Cheese and Pineapple on a stick

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Breakfasts

 

5. Scrambled egg on toast

4. Continental

3. Crunchy nut cornflakes

2. Harvest Crunch

1. Poached egg on toast (Done properly)

 

 

Max's Top Five Breakfasts

 

5. Large Bacon Roll

4. French Style - Hot Chocolate/Pain Du Chocolate.

3. Cornflakes and Clotted Cream

2. Continental - Croissants

1. Full English

 

Max's Top 5 colour combo's

 

5. Green and Blue

4. Red and Blue

3. Orange and Black

2. Green and Yellow

1. Blue and Blue

 

 

Chris's top 5 colour combo's

 

5. Black and blue

4. Green and white

3. Black and Orange

2. Yellow and Blue

1. Black and white

 

 

Chris's Top 5 times of day

 

5. 12.00 (Typical snoozy time)

4. 19.00 (Rough time I get home)

3. 12.00 (I can now go to lunch anytime I like)

2. 8.00 (Just got in, have my coffee, reading websites)

1. 17.45 (winding up the day usually hanging about deciding when to leave.)

 

Max's Top 5 Times of Day

 

5. 7pm - 3-4 More hours of fun

4. 10.59 - Tea Break!

3. 3am - Already snoozing

2. 12.30pm - Lunch Time

1. 5.29pm - home time - Friday is best

 

 

Max's Top 5 things you would hate to lose.

 

5. My Keys

4. My Mobile

3. My Wallet

2. My Job

1. My Mind

 

 

Chris's Top 5 things you would hate to lose.

 

5. My mobile

4. My car

3. My keys

2. My wallet

1. My girlfriend

 

 

Chris's Top 5 road signs

 

5. Warning. (The exclamation mark)

4. Priority over oncoming traffic (Nobody can work this out. Big arrow, red arrow, errr)

3. The elderly people one (Hilarious)

2. Urban Causeway (I it cause it always used to be a mystery to me when I was young)

1. National speed limit.

 

 

Max's Top Five Road Signs

 

5. No Overtaking

4. Slippery Road

3. No Motor Vehicles

2. School Crossing

1. FROM a functional view: Go Faster Sign (National Speed Limit), or to Look at: Danger Men at Work

 

 

 

Max's Top 5 Least favourite ways to die

 

5. Cancer

4. Crushed

3. Burnt

2. Suffocating

1. Drowning

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Least favourite ways to die (I don't know why that popped into my head!)

 

5. Crucified

4. Shark

3. Slowly crushed

2. Boiled

1. Burnt

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Kids films.

 

5. Raiders of the lost ark

4. Karate Kid

3. Battlestar Galatica

2. E.T. (Was massive when I was a kid)

1. Goonies

 

 

Max's Top 80's Kids Films (Non Star Wars)

 

5. Tron

4. Teen Wolf

3. BMX Bandits

2. Back to the Future

1. Goonies

 

 

Max's Top 5 Children's books (Read as a child)

 

5. Famous Five (numerous)

4. Where the Wild Things Are

3. The BFG

2. Watership Down

1. Danny Champion of the World

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Childrens books (Read as a child)

 

5. Charlottes web

4. The Twits

3. Fantastic Mr Fox

2. 101 Dalmations

1. The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe

 

 

Chris's Top 5 bad musical career decisions.

 

5. Morrissey (Only made two good songs after he left)

4. Bryan Ferry

3. Joe Strummer

2. Debbie Harry (No Career afterwards)

1. Paul Weller (Hate most of his post Jam stuff)

 

Max's Top 5 Shitty Musical Career Cocks Ups (Left good band to make crap)

 

5. Mark Knoplher

4. Debbie Harry

3. Sting

2. Paul Weller

1. Ian Brown

 

 

Max's Top 5 Male solo Artists (Must like music after they left a band)

 

5. Elvis

4. Zavid

3. Jimi Hendrix

2. Elton John

1. Cat Stevens

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Male solo Artists (Must like music after they left a band)

 

5. Rod Stewart

4. Eminem

3. Daniel Beddingfield (Believe it or not)

2. Zavid

1. Elton John

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Wars

 

5. Napoleonic era

4. WW1

3. English Civil

2. Vietnam

1. WW2

 

 

Have we Done Top 5 Wars?

 

5. Korea (Police Action)

4. Napoleonic Wars

3. Vietnam

2. WW1

1. WW2

 

 

Max's Top 5 favourite work colleagues past and present

 

5. Jason Moreton (Insight SysAd, good bloke, gave me a lot of his time)

4. Martin Corr (My Boss in Brighton, let me run riot)

3. Kevin Jones (Great 18 months, ideal)

2. Kersey (Somerfields Partner in Crime, also major Doss Artist)

1. Stimo (Partner in Crime and Doss Artist)

 

 

Top 5 favourite work colleagues past and present

 

5. Ian Robertson (Euk, kick started a different way of working for me)

4. Ian Saunders (ADP geezer)

3. Julian Heggie (Good manager, a laugh, and now a friend)

2. Scott Aitken (Foxtons nut)

1. Roger Hevitatani (Euk partner in crime before college)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Star Wars Films

 

 

1. ANH

2. RotJ

3. ESB

5. RotS

5. AotC

 

Max's Top 5 Star Wars Characters.

 

5. Yoda

4. Boba/Janga Fett

3. Obi-Wan

2. Chewie

1. Han Solo

 

Chris's Top 5 Star Wars films (No surprises)

 

5. AOTC

4. ROTS

3. ESB

2. ROTJ

1. ANH

 

Chris's Top 5 Characters

 

5. Wedge

4. Obi Wan

3. R2 D2

2. Leia

1. Han Solo

 

 

Max's Top 5 Countries Style of Food

 

5. American

4. Chinese

3. Mexican

2. Italian

1. Indian/Thai

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Countries style of food.

 

5. American (Hot dogs/Hamburgers)

4. Thai

3. French

2. Italian

1. Indian

 

Chris's Top 5 Gay artists

 

5. Tattoo (You didn't say they had to be male!)(Although why are they number 5?)

4. Andy Bell

3. Marc Almond

2. Jimmy somerville

1. Boy George

 

Max's Top 5 Gay Music Artists

 

5. George Michael (in Wham!)

4. Freddie Mercury (as Queen)

3. David Bowie

2. Michael Stipe (as REM)

1. Elton John

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Solo Female Music Artists.

 

5. Amiee Mann

4. Kylie

3. Kate Bush

2. Belinda Carlisle

1. Madonna

 

Max's Top 5 Female Music Artists

 

5. Kylie Minogue

4. Madonna

3. Belinda Carlisle

2. Kim Wilde

1. Debbie Harry (As Blondie)

 

Chris's Top TV presenters

 

5. Johnny Vaughan

4. Fern Cotton

3. Kelly Brook

2. Stephen Fry

1. Jonathon Ross

 

Max's Top 5 TV Presenters.

 

5. Graham Norton

4. Phillipa Forrester

3. Phillip Schofield - As Was.

2. Jonathan Ross

1. Mark Lamar

 

Max's Top 5 Blue Peter Presenters

 

5. John Noakes

4. Sarah Greene

3. Janet Ellis

2. Simon Groom

1. Peter Duncan

 

Chris's top 5 blue peter presenters

 

5. Caron Keating

4. John Noakes

3. Sarah Greene

2. Peter Duncan

1. Simon Groom

 

 

Max's Top 5 Saints

 

5. St Patrick.

4. St George.

3. St Chistopher.

2. St Piran.

1. St Petroc.

 

Chris's Top saints? Simon templar?

 

5. Catherine of Alexandria

4. Zita

3. St Maximilian Mary Kolbe (Patron saint against drug addiction) I kid you not.

2. St George

1. St Christopher (Natch)

 

Chris's Top 5 years of your life

 

5. 91 (Great Indie kid days.)

4. 00 (Year of shagging, Max and Chris' year of fun)

3. 78 (Balmy summer (1st time I met USA girl), Grease, Star wars (Still) cool school times)

2. 87 (Leaving school, meeting a hot american girl, loosing virginity etc)

1. 89 (Fabulous, not a care in the world 18 year old college days. Everything seemed cool)

 

Max's Top 5  Favourite Years - (need your reasons to your years!)

 

5. '90 - Ahhh.. French Exchange, Top Year in Lower-Secondary School, Great Music, Sunny Summer.

4. '88 - Great Last Summer of Newquay, Surf Championships, Top Year in Primary School, My Mullet Rained Supreme.

3. '99 - Lived in Brighton, Bought MGB, Loadsa Ladies.

2. '00 - Bought House, Job at Insight, Plenty of Ladies.

1. '97 - Passed Driving Test, On Degree Course, Graduated Nene, Got Syntegra Job.

 

Max's Top 5 Favourite Smells (I hope we haven't done this.)

 

5. Cool Water (Davidoff)

4. Sea Air

3. Brand New Book

2. Cut Grass

1. Baked Bread

 

Chris's Top 5 Favourite Smells (I hope we haven't done this.)

 

5. Toast

4. Freshly washed linen

3. Cakes being baked

2. Peach

1. Vanilla

 

Chris's Top US action shows.

 

5. Buck Rodgers in the 25th Century

4. Six Million Dollar Man (Might be 70's but I think crept into 80's)

3. Knight Rider

2. Dukes of Hazard

1. Battlestar Galatica

 

Max's Top Five 80's US Action TV Shows

 

5. The Fall Guy

4. Hardcastle and McCormick

3. Street Hawk

2. Knight Rider

1. The A-Team

 

 

Max's Top 5 Metals

 

5. Steel

4. Silver

3. Mercury

2. Aluminium

1. Platinum

 

Chris's Metals (I assume alloys are cool)

 

5. Is Chrome a metal?

4. Copper

3. Mercury

2. Platinum

1. White Gold

 

 

Max's Top 5 "top 5's" that didn't make it (Ones which I chose but then didn't have anything to put)

 

5. Top 5 Computer Peripherals

4. Top 5 Phones (Mobile)

3. Top 5 Stationary

2. Top 5 School Dinners

1. Top 5 Pasta

 

 

Chris 's Top 5 "top 5's" that didn't make it (Ones which I chose but then didn't have anything to put)

 

5. Top 5 Girls toys (What?)

4. Top 5 Crockery (Odd)

3. Top 5 Bad smells(???) (Although good smells will probably be my next one)

2. Top 5 Winter day activities (Could think of two)

1. Top 5 Difficult questions (Thought this was great until I tried to list them)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 car badges

 

5. Subaru

4. Aston Martin

3. Audi

2. BMW

1. Lambo

 

Max's Top Five Car Badges (Not Mascots) (to look at, not cos you like the cars)

 

5. Ferarri

4. Porsche

3. Lotus

2. Bentley

1. VW

 

 

Max's Top 5 questionable fashion statements I have made.

 

5. Dungarees: Aged 15.

4. Shaved Head, but with long fringe.

3. Jeans, odd shapes with a dozen zips in them, circa 1986.

2. Brown Suede Waist Coat, Paisley Shirt and Cuban Heel Boots.

1. Denim Cut Off Shorts, White Socks, Brown Brogues.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 questionable fashion statements I have made.

 

5. Home made "Art" T shirt. Black with bits of paint on it and words wrtitten on in paint like "The Jam"

4. Arsenal football shirt to a party.

3. Knowledgably buying wearing a womans jumper from Etams and thinking it was cool.

2. Grade 2 haircut.

1. Black shoes, black trousers, white socks.

 

Chris's Top 5 Guiness book of records

 

5. Discovering Christope. The answer to all problems.

4. First person to meet an alien

3. Being the oldest man

2. Scoring 8 top flight goals in one match (Currently stands at 7 with Ted Drake)

1. Scoring the winning goal for England against germany in the football world cup.

 

 

Max's Top 5, Things You'd like to be in Guinness Book for records for

 

5. First Man on Mars

4. World's Richest Man

3. Any entry in the Guinness Singles Records, preferably a no.1

2. 100m Sprint fastest time.

1. Fastest Man Alive (with mechanical power).

 

 

Max's Top 5 Conspiracies that you believe could be true. (Hard One)

 

5. USA Faked Man Landing on Moon. >-----> Damn you put that, OK, I'll have Robert Maxwell's death.

4. The Knights Templar is exist.

3. Elvis aint Dead, its all a lie.

2. The Builder, Frank Thorogood killed Brian Jones.

1. BBC Kept the Pistols off no.1 in '77 and put Rod Stewart there instead.

 

 

Chris's Conspiracies that you believe could be true.

 

5. Marylin Monroe's death.

4. Jack the ripper was Queen Victorias head physian covering up a plot to embarrass her wayward son Albert who had got a prossie pregnant.

3. The moon landing photos are fake

2. Kennedy assassination

1. Jesus was a space man.

 

Max's Top 5 Things that would make today better.

 

5. Get told my next project is a little more exotic than Stevenage in Location.

4. Current Project Tell me they no longer need me.

3. Weekend Forecast for Weekend is SUN, SUN, SUN.

2. Mortgage Finally Goes Through, and house is ALL mine.

1. Nice Takeout for Dinner

 

Chris's Top 5 things that would make today better (Apart from winning euro millions or something).

 

5. A certain subordinate decides to leave because he has got another job cleaning toilets.

4. Boss tells me that he is actually going to do my appraisal

3. Jacquies made dinner when I get in.

2. Out of the two candidates this afternoon, one will be great and can start soon

1. I will get to listen to the Now show on Radio 4 on the way home.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Superstitions

 

5. Gypsies putting hexes on you for not buying their violets.

4. This strange three drain thing where in the case of having three in a line you must not walk over them. (Stoopid)

3. Ladders. (But then its kinda sensible too)

2. Magpies. (I will make all sorts of effort if I only see one)

1. New shoes on the table. (I am a real nut on this. and its all bollox)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Superstitions (Ones you tend to abide/listen to) - Even though, like me you aint superstitious

 

5. Walking under Ladders.

4. Crossing on Stairs

3. Black Cats are Good Luck

2. Magpies, (1 for Sorrow, 2 for Joy).

1. Someone Snezzing and then saying Bless You

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Life sound track Albums...Good one.

 

5. Lemon Jelly, KY; Max + Chris summer of fun 2000 plus starting Foxtons.

4. U2, Joshua Tree; Working through summer before College.

3. OMD, Greatest hits; Same as above but spending time with my mate Alun whos bird I fancied.

2. Happy Daze 2; Follow up and the signature album for Winter 90/spring 91 working at Quotron.

1. Happy Daze; Summer of 1990. Lovely end of college pre work summer

 

Max's Top 5 Albums that Remind Me of Things (In order of Which you like them)

 

5. Boys Hits: Newquay

4. Orbital; Ladies and Gentlemen: Syntegra

3. Seahorses, Love is the Law: 2nd Year NeneBeach

2. Pulp Common Ppl:  1st Year Nene

1. Stone Roses, The Complete: BSc Dissertation

 

Max's Top 5 Dissappointments

 

5. Kate Andrews, didn't, as told by playground rumour; go all the way.

4. My 18th Birthday Present from Lisa: A Cushion!! F*cks Sake

3. Getting a Scaletrix, when I thought I asked for a Remote Controlled car. (Then the RC Car was also a dissappointment)

2. Racing Bike - It had odd wheels

1. Meeting Darth Vader Actor, David Prowse, who, when asked to do the voice of Darth, wouldnt do it. (Not realising at the time, he didnt ACTUALLY do it.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 disappointments in your life.

 

5. Realising that people from ADP were being sent to the USA.

4. Not getting my Football 80 sticker album (I saw my dad about two weeks ago and I related the story and showed him the album. He had no recollection of it at all. (Which was disappointing))

3. Sam moving to Bristol.

2. England getting knocked out of the 1990 world cup semis on penalties.

1. My first train set. (Sorry dad)

 

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Bits of Software (Non-Game/Non-Office/Non-Operating System)

 

5. iTunes

4. Real VNC

3. Messenger

2. Smart FTP

1. Firefox

 

 

Max's Top 5 Bits of Software (Non-Game/Non-Office/Non-Operating System)

 

5. FTP Software

4. Kazaa (or similar)

3. Paint Shop Pro

2. Messenger (with Plus!)

1. Internet Explorer or Firefox

 

 

Max's Top 5 Man Landmarks

 

5. Empire State Building

4. Stone Henge

3. Easter Island Statues

2. Pyramids

1. Great Wall of China

 

 

Chris's Top 5 World landmarks (Man made)

 

5. Empire State building

4. Effiel tower. (Just like it)

3. That new bridge in France that goes over that valley

2. Petronas towers.

1. Pyramids

 

 

Chris's Top 5 London Landmarks.

 

5. Houses of Parliament

4. Tower Bridge

3. London Monument (Underated, great view)

2. Tower of London

1. London eye. (Looks Cool)

 

 

Max's Top 5 London Landmarks

 

5. Tower Bridge

4. Buckingham Palace

3. Houses of Parliament

2. Monument - Pudding Lane

1. Tower of London

 

 

Max's Top 5 Prime Ministers

 

5. Robert Peel (Policeman PM)

4. Lloyd George

3. Maragret Thatcher (This Lady wasn't for Turning)

2. Bejamin Disrali ( I love his name, only Jewish PM)

1. Churchill (Man of the Moment)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Prime Ministers then. (Topical)

 

5. Lloyd George

4. Pitt (The Younger)

3. William Gladstone

2. Bejamin Disrali

1. Churchill (Of course)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Monarchs

 

5. John (Magna Carta)

4. Richard II (Did a cool thing when his wife died.)

3. Henry VIII (Top shagging king).

2. Edward I (Anyone called Hammer of the scots has to be good)

1. Victoria. (Put Britain on the map)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Monarchs (No you cant have Cromwell)

 

5. Victoria

4. Richard I

3. Elizabeth I

2. Henry VIII

1. Edward VIII

 

Max's Top 5 kiddies sweets (Pick n mix style)

 

5. Choc/Yogurt Covered Raisins

4. Pink Mice

3. Large Gummies (Rings/Snakes etc)

2. Giant Drumstick Chew (not on a stick)

1. Refresher Chews

 

 

Chris's top 5 kiddies sweets (Pick n mix style)

 

5. White chocolate circles with the hundreds and thousands on them.

4. Milk bottles

3. gummies (any shape)

2. Drumstick

1. Cola bottles

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Soups

 

5. Oxtail

4. Stilton

3. Tomato

2. Chicken noodle

1. Chicken and mushroom

 

 

Max's Top 5 Soups

 

5. Tomato Soup

4. Noodle Soup

3. Leek and Potato

2. Chunky Vegetable

1. Chicken - Cream of with Croutons

 

 

Max's Top 5 80s Bands

 

5. Bon Jovi (Slippery and New Jersey)

4. Spandau Ballet

3. The Jam (ended 80's) - If not allowed, then I'll have the Police.

2. Durran Durran

1. Stone Roses

 

Chris's top 5 favourite 80's bands

 

5. Dire Straits (Loved them at the time)

4. Stone Roses (Only thought of as 80's)

3. Duran Duran

2. Smiths

1. Simple Minds

 

 

Chris's Top 5 scars/wounds

 

5. Operation on ankle to remove a bit of bone. Aged 29.

4. Broke wrist playing football. Icy pitch and a needless tackle. aged 29

3. Split right thumb open thumping some berk in a fight after school aged 12.

2. Servered main artery in left index finger falling over on concrete steps carrying milk bottles aged 8

1. Chopped top off little finger on right hand in door hinges aged 6

 

 

Max's Top 5 Scars/War Wounds

 

 

5. Right Left: 2 Pock Hole (Don't go racing ahead on school bike trip , fall off into coiled metal)

4. Left Hand: 2 Inch Gash (Don't tease dog, they bite)

3. Left Lower Back: 5 Burns (Don't throw fish fingers into boiling fat, whilst topless)

2. Right Arm: 6 Inch Slash (Don't argue with class thicko with Stanley Knife)

1. Left Leg: 5-6 Inch Gash (Shouldn't have wheelied that bike)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Sun things.

 

5. Cycling in The Country

4. BBQ

3. Driving with the Top Down

2. Beer Garden

1. Swim in open pool/sea (whilst abroad)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 things to do in the sun

 

5. Frying ants with a magnifying glass (Well not any more but I used to)

4. Day at the seaside

3. Little bit of park footy

2. Bbq/garden Party

1. Picnic next to a river

 

 

Chris Top 5 Kids TV. So many to choose from.

 

5. Worzel Gummage. (Just beating, Catweazel)

4. Marmalade Atkins (Poo)

3. Johnny Briggs (Northern based nob feastival)

2. Blue Peter (Boring and sterile)

1. Rentaghost (Utter toss)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Kids TV Shows you Hated

 

5. Sooty and Sweep (Cnuts)

4. Childrens Ward (Er no)

3. Raggy Dolls (Please, no)

2. The Lowdown (Shite, I dont want news, I want cartoons)

1. Moonmins (Please, no, don't they scare me. Why, why... help!)

 

 

Max's Top 5 TV Shows to be made.

 

5. Big Brother 2005: All Female, All Nude, No Mingers.

4. Max Introduces Playmates at the Playmate Mansion - 24 part Series of Fun. (for me!)

3. Lady-Cam - Follow a different Lady every week. Highlights only. Some Celebrities also.

2. TV Hangings - After the reintroduction of Capital Punishment, Pay Ver View Hangings.

1. Knorkfest - Coverage of the 3 day festival.

 

Chris's Top 5 TV programmes you like to see made.

 

5. Tiswas. (again)

4. Late night Porn presented by Kirsty Gallacher/Kelly Brook

3. Globo Football. (24 hour channel showing football matches from around the world non stop)

2. Vigilante Justice (Cameras follow big burly blokes who kick the shit out lowlifes nicking car stereos)

1. All female celebrity vs public naked twister sponsered by Olivio

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Planets

 

5. Skaro

4. Earth

3. Jupiter

2. Saturn

1. Mars

 

 

Max's Top Five Planets

 

5. Pluto

4. Saturn

3. Tatooine

2. Earth

1. Mars

 

 

Max's Top 5 Dessert Island Things

 

5. Sunglasses

4. Photos

3. Shaver (with same Solar Charger) failing that, scissors.

2. Catapult (Black Widow)

1. Radio/100GB Ipod with SolarCharger!

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Things (Not people) you would take with you to deserted island (Totally cut off, but survival taken for granted)

 

5. My box of photos.

4. Football

3. Mirror

2. As much pencils and paper as I could carry.

1. Wind up radio. (If could get any signal)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 TV Sports

 

5. Beach Volleyball

4. Cricket

3. Snooker

2. Olympics

1. Football (Especially Eng er land)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Sports (To watch on TV)

 

5. Rugby

4. Snooker

3. Motorsport

2. Football

1. Olympics/Commonweath Games

 

 

Max's Top 5 Accents

 

5. Southern US (Mmmkk, ay, with the yunguns!)

4. Swedish (FlorDeBor)

3. West Country (Purdy)

2. German (Always fun to do)

1. Oz (Aww Yeah?)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Accents

 

5. Scottish (Efter)

4. Japanese (Herrow)

3. Australian (Shit fly)

2. German (It was the Luftwaffe was it not)

1. Dutch (For Sure, Vindosshh XP)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Mentors

 

5. Chris Smith (Work Ethic; Nene College, so much older and in many ways wiser than me)

4. Martin Corr (Syntegra, Coder, always stuck up for me and helped me out of the sh*t)

3. Jesus (just kidding!!) .... um..... David Parsons (Newquay, always looked up to him, I was 5, he 12. Coolest man alive from 82-88)

2. Michael Stimson (Expert in minimum input, maximum output - just how I like it!)

1. Father (I could list a whole bunch of crap!)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Mentors.

 

5. Ian Saunders (Bloke at ADP responsible for the smug and pompous way I sometimes speak)

4. Ian Robinson (Bloke at EUK that taught me a lot about working professionally)

3. Julian

2. Alan (Nene Lecturer)

1. Godfather dave white

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Scariest Things that happened/moments in life

(relatively so)(Hmmm I don't get scared.... much.)

 

5. Two big eyes staring at me from the bottom of my bed. (When morning came they turned out to be my rolled up socks I had taken off before I went to bed.)

4. Being 15 and night fishing with Godfather. He left me there at the lake in the pitch black for 30 mins whilst he popped back home to get something he had forgotten.

3. Walking home from school in the first year of secondary school. Bullies around every corner.

2. War of the Worlds Album (as a kid terrified me.)

1. Some of my nightmares have been the scariest moments of my life.

 

Max's Top 5 Scariest Things that happened/moments in life

(relatively so)

 

5. Fire on Grange Hill!

4. Moving for the First time to a new school (Devon -> Cornwall)

3. Getting caught by the police and waiting for my Dad's reaction!

2. Starting 2ndary School, knew no one, (Cornwall -> Devon)

1. Driving Test - I poop pants

 

 

Max's Top 5 crossroads in your life.

 

5. Acted as school rep at parents evening, left early > On way home; Met Lisa.

4. Moved to Kingsbridge > Met Bob

3. Passed Driving Test > Love them cars.

2. Failing A Levels badly: > Going to Nene for Computers not Economics.

1. Volunteering for 1st job internally at Syntegra > IT Security > Job I am now.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 crossroads in your life.

 

5. Getting a job with Richard rather than one at Northampton

4. Getting the Job at Foxtons (Careerwise changed things)

3. Getting made redundant from ADP. (They moved everybody to US a year later)

2. Meeting Sadie (Ended up me going to Nene)

1. Going to college instead of sixth form (Bad exam results)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Money

 

5. Sovereign

4. Shekel

3. Dollar U.S.

2. Rouble

1. Dabloon

 

 

Max's Top 5 Currency (inc old European)

 

5. Deutschmark

4. Rand

3. Pound

2. Shekel

1. Groat

 

Max's Top 5 Shapes

 

5 Oval

4 Star

3 Square

2 Circle

1 Rectangle

 

 

Chris's Top 5. Shapes

 

5. 5 pointed star

4. Club (As in card suit)

3. Dodecahedron

2. Snowflake

1. Rhombus

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Lagers....

 

5. Starmenpramen (Draft)

4. Budweiser (Bottled)

3. Budvar (Bottled)

2. Stella (Bottled or Draft)

1. Azzuri Nastro (Peroni)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Lagers (not Bitters)

 

5. 1664

4. XXXX

3. Carlsburg (inc. Export)

2. Grolsh

1. Michelob

 

 

Max's Top 5 Motorways

 

5. M3

4. M60

3. M25 (At night - J7 - J12)

2. M6 Toll

1. M23

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Motorways. Fav

 

5. A1(M)

4. M55

3. M23

2. M6 Toll road (I have money, its great)

1. M40. (There is no other)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 flahs.

 

5. Poppy

4. Daffs

3. Sunflower

2. Amaryllis

1. Bluebell

 

Max's Top 5 Flowers

 

5. Rose (Blood Red)

4. Daffodils

3. Poppy

2. Fuchsias

1. Tulips (Black ones- BLACK, BLACK , like my heart!)

 

Max's Top 5 Snakes

 

5. Trouser

4. Grass

3. Sidewinder

2. Python

1. Rattle

 

Chris's Top 5 snakes

 

5. Sidewinder

4. Cobra

3. Diamond back

2. Brown snake

1. Black Mamba (My favourite dildo too)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Dickens (- Tricky cos I don't like him.)

 

5. There is no fifth so I choose Martin Chuzzlewit

4. Hard Times

3. Grate expectations

2. Oliver twist

1. A christmas carol

 

 

Max's Top 5 Dickens

 

5. Christmas Carol

4.Great Expectations

3. Little Dorrit

2. Oliver Twist

1. Tale of Two Cities

 

 

Max's Top 5 "With me it's best if you don't...."

 

5. Diss them Stones/Idolise them Beatles.

4. Diss the Lotus.

3. Always done /know someone who has done it better/louder/faster/etc.

2. Make me jump.

1. Don't you be late now.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 "With me it's best if you don't...."

 

5. Be young and disrespectful

4. Sell me something

3. Whistle

2. Bite your nails

1. Make me jump (Especially coming up behind me if I don't know you're there)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Shakespeare

 

5. Much ado about nothing

4. King Lear

3. Macbeth

2. Twelve night

1. Midsummer nights dream

 

 

Max's 5 Top Shakespeare

 

5. King Lear

4. Mid Summer nights Dream

3. Taming of The Shrew

2. Merchant of Venice

1.Comedy of Errors

 

Max's To 5 Slags

 

5. Britney Spears

4. Pamela Anderson

3. Anne Nicole Smith

2. Jodie Marsh

1. Lola Ferrari

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Slags

 

5. Anna nicole smith (As was)

4. Jenny Macarthy

3. Lindsey dawn mckenzie

2. Jenna Jameson

1. Jodie Marsh

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Flags

 

5. UK

4. Devon

3. Greece

2. England

1. Canada

 

 

Max's Top 5 Flags

 

5. Oz

4. UK

3. England

2. Devonion

1. Cornish

 

 

Max's Five Best Things about working in a supermarket

 

5. Doing Trolleys in Summer.Outside in the Sun

4. Fu*king about in the warehouse.

3. Sunday Shifts, No Management, 2 hour lunch breaks.

2. Massive amounts of free food and booze.

1. Access to Burds

 

Chris's Top 5 best things about working in a supermarket

 

5. Sneeky liberation of stock.

4. Customer enquiries (An excuse to fart about out the back)

3. Food fights

2. Bit of a Social club

1. Access to top fanny.

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Supermarket dislikes.

 

5. The management (Treat you like twats).

4. Stacking loo rolls

3. Working 12 til 9.30 with only 45 minutes break.

2. Freezer cleaning

1. Trollies. (Only the muppets did that)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Things that used to piss you off when working in a supermarket

 

5. Bag Packing.

4. Do you know where the milk is? (Oh come ON!)

3. Do you now where the eggs are? (Yes, I do. Because I have eyes and legs)

2. Do you work here? (No I wear this for fun!)

1. "Can you tell me where the toilets are?" "No, we don't have any."  "Can I use the staff ones?" (Don't you have toilets at home?)

 

Max's 5 Top Impressive Buildings

 

5. Houses of Parliament

4. Sydney Opera House

3. Chrysler Building

2. Tower of London

1. Pyramids

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Impressive buildings

 

5. That Hotel in that advert with the helipad

4. Petronas Towers

3. Effiel Tower

2. Pyramids

1. Empire State building

 

Chris's Top 5 Letters

 

5. Z

4. T

3. O

2. W

1. X

 

 

Max's Top 5 Favourite Letters

 

5. J

4. Z

3. V

2. A

1. X

 

Max's Top 5 Supermarkets

 

5. Somerfield

4. Tesco

3. Marks n Sparks

2. Sainsburys

1. Waitrose

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Supermarkets

 

5. Asda

4. Tesco

3. Sainsburys

2. Waitrose

1. Marks and sparks

 

 

Chris Top 5 Tasks to Hate

 

5. Washing the kitchen floor.

4. Cleaning Bathroom

3. Washing Car

2. Hanging up wet washing

1. Weekly shopping (The whole thing)

 

 

Max's 5 Tasks you Hate

 

5. Ironing

4. Loading/Unloading Dishwasher

3. Putting Away Shopping

2. Sorting Out Airing Cupboard

1. Hanging Out Washing

 

Max's Top 5 menial tasks you don't mind doing

 

5. Dusting

4. Mowing Lawn

3. Hoovering

2. Organising CDs/Books/DVDs

1. Washing Car

 

 

Chris's Top 5 menial tasks you don't mind doing

 

5. Paper round (When I did one)

4. Tidying lounge.

3. Stuffing envelopes (Work task)

2. Peeling Potatoes

1. Washing up (Water MUST be boiling hot)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Elvis Songs

 

5. (I can't help) Falling in love with you.

4. Devil in disguise

3. Suspicious Minds

2. In the Gateaux

1. His Latest Flame

 

 

Max's 5 Elvis Songs

 

5. Return to Sender

4. Way Down

3. All Shook Up

2. In the Ghetto

1. Suspicious Minds

 

Max's Top 5 Words by the way they sound

 

5 Wibble

4 Spank

3 Sprocket

2 Boobies

1 Twat

 

 

Chris's Top 5 favourite words by the way they sound

 

5. Spiggot

4. Gusset

3. Thicket

2. Bug

1. knockers

 

 

Max's Top Five Ways to Screw yo Bird.

 

5. With Mirrors all around. (Pporno Style)

4. Over the Desk (Dirty)

3. Tied Up. (Ideal for Drilling)

2. Her on Top. (Ideal for Boobie watching)

1. From Behind, looking back. (ideal for Boobie Grabing)

 

Chris's Top Five Ways to Screw yo Bird.

 

5. Slow

4. Inside

3. Out

2. Down

1. Up

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Internet events

 

5. Getting broadband.

4. Day long email slanging matches

3. Max and Chris' internet challenge. (Getting stuff mailed to each other)

2. I Kiss You

1. Rob Mcdiarmid and Bearded

 

Max's Top 5 Internet events

 

5. Slanging matches/Internet Challenge

4. Napster/Kazaa/iTunes/Donkey/Filesharing

3. TCZ/Chat Rooms

2. I Kiss You

1. Being on Webcam in Times Square and Ringing work in Walton at 1pm on a Friday.

 

 

 

Max's Top 5 Man type things you have total interest in doing.

 

5. Never Asking for Directions

4. Growing Facial Hair

3. Being in Shed Engine Tinkering/Teaching Son (Daughter?) Engines

2. Having/Walking a Dog

1. Kids/Father/Husband Type Thing

 

Chris's Top 5 Man type things you have total interest in doing.

 

5. Crying at England winning the World Cup.

4. Collecting something.

3. Owning a good car

2. Playing Footy

1. Teaching offspring footy

 

Max's Top 5 Man type things you have absolutely no interest in doing.

 

5. Making/Stoking a Fire.

4. Sawing Up Bits of Wood.

3. Pipe n Slippers

2. Really Getting into Football/Teaching Son Football

1. Cheating on Burd

 

Chris's Top 5 Man type things you have absolutely no interest in doing.

 

5. Owning a dog.

4. Having a shed.

3. Gardening

2. Cheating on my girlfriend

1. Hunting

 

Chris's Top 5 things I am going to buy next

 

5. A new house.

4. A couple of tops

3. The Stand DVD

2. Mothers day present

1. New kitchen surface

 

Max's Top 5 Things, you're going to buy next (non-food/clothes)

 

5. Ikea Bedroom Cupboard Things

4. Blender

3. New TV

2. Double Bed

1. Garage (Plans are made and ready to roll!)

 

Max's Top 5 things which you think are cool about yourself.

 

5. Full Head of Hair.

4. I work on Spaceships.

3. The Lotus.

2. Westcountry Boy.

1. 6ft 3ins.

 

Chris's Top 5 things which you think are cool about yourself.

 

5. Have a young girlfriend

4. Appreciate music younger than my years.

3. Wear a lot of black...Heh

2. Still can compete at football.

1. I don't think I am cool (Therefore probably can be at times)

 

Chris's Turning 30.

 

5. Nothing. Its a number

4. Lower Car insurance

3. You can shock people with your juxapostioned age looks announcement. (I can anyway).

2. Finally an end to Max's "your nearly 30" campaign

1. Was pummeling some hot 24 year old.

 

Max's Top 5, Reasons for Turning 30.

 

5. Natural Confidence with new found wisdom.

4. 18 Years olds will be only 12 years younger.

3. Lower Car Insurance.

2. I will look wiser.

1. Chris will be 35.

 

Max's Top 5 old women that you would.

 

5. Shelley Long

4. Jenny Auguter

3. Catherine Bach

2. Carrie Fisher

1. Racquel Welch

 

Chris's Top 5 old women that you would.

 

5. Susan Sarandon

4. Roxbury brothers mom

3. Joanna Lumley

2. Diana Rigg

1. Racquel Welch

 

Max's Top 5 men that are so cool, you wish you were a 5th as cool

 

5. Mick Jagger

4. Keefa Sutherland

3. Emilooooooooooooo Esteves

2. Sean Connery

1. Steve McQueen

 

Max's Top Five Useless/Never-used Electric/Techie Items in your House

 

5. 486 Laptop

4. Video (VHS)

3. Breadmaker

2. Foot Spa

1. Pounds Shillings Pence Calculator

 

Chris's Electronic uslesses

 

5. Battery operated carlock defreezer.

4. Pedometer

3. Calculator/ruler

2. Shower radio

1. Old Foxtons Laptop with win98 on it.

 

Max's Top 5 favourite ways to spend a tenner.

 

5. 2x Magazines (ie Playboy/Q/Q Special/NME Special etc.)

4. Ebay.

3. Old LPs

2. Getting Something for the Lotus/MG/Honda vehicle of Choice

1. Four Pints in O'Neills listening to live music (or The Font in Brighton, which no longer has live music and isnt the Font and Firkin, just THE FONT)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 favourite ways to spend a tenner.

 

5. 11 itunes (Various)

4. Steak supper + tub of Haagan Daaz afterwards

3. Take out Curry. Beer or two.

2. As many 2nd hand records as possible.

1. 4 quid footy subs and two bottles of beer and packet of crisps afterwards

 

Max's Top 5 Predictions for the Premier League Standings 2005

 

5. Middlesborough

4. Everton

3. Man Utd

2. Arsenal

1. Chelsea

 

Chris's Top 5 League Predictions 2004

 

5. Liverpool

4. Everton

3. Arsenal

2. Man U

1. Chelsea

 

Max's PC games/console games. Have we done that?

 

5. Gran Turismo

4. Xenon 2

3. Elite

2. Mario 3/4/5

1. Tetris

 

Chris's PC games/console games. Have we done that?

 

5. Tetris

4. Xenon2 (Megablast theme tune)

3. Worms 3D

2. Quake 2 (Multiplayer only)

1. Rome:Total war

 

Chris's Top 5 Brands

 

5. Next

4. Adidas

3. Subaru

2. NAD

1. Macintosh (Although don't own anything by them)

 

Max's Top 5 Brands That you like.

 

5. Mambo

4. Playboy

3. Denon

2. Mont Blanc

1. Adidas

 

Chris's Top 5 Hatchback cars (3 door)

 

5. Capri.

4. Vauxhall Astra GTE 2.0

3. BMW Mini Cooper S

2. Peugeot 205 1.9 Gti

1. MK1 Golf Gti

 

Max's Top 5 Hatchback cars (3 door)

 

5. Lotus Cortina

4. MK5 Golf Gti (New One)

3. Renault Clio Williams

2. BMW Mini CooperS (Works)

1. MK1 Golf Gti

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Trees

 

5. The Mighty OAK.

4. Sycamore

3. The Larch

2. Weeping Willow

1. Silver Birch

 

Max's Top 5 Trees

 

5. Weeping Willow

4. Sycamore

3. Apple Tree

2. The Oak

1. Horse Chestnut

 

Chris's Top 5 him for a day.

 

5. Prince Charles

4. Jonathon Ross

3. Tierry Henry

2. Johnny Depp

1. Kelly Brooks boyfriend (I would want that for a lot longer)

 

Max's Top 5 "I wish I was him for a Day"

 

5. The Queen (or King)

4. John Squires (circa 89)

3. Any England football player. (Preferably in a World Cup Match)

2. Mick Jagger (Again in the mid-60s)

1. Hugh Hefner (in the 60's - although, now would also be OK I guess)

 

Max's Top 5 Coverts

 

5. Justin Mills Large Scale Scalextix.

4. David Parsons Proper Remote Controlled Car (Dune buggy Thing).

3. Peter Bunn's Wide Variety of Transformers.

2. Steven Mills's Skateboard (s).

1. Bob's Musical Skills.

 

Chris's Top 5 coverted things as a child

 

5. Richard Kennedys birds.

4. David Crayfords world cup adidas boots (And he couldn't actually play football)

3. Chris Coens Cool racer

2. John Taylors ZX Spectrum 48

1. John Harpers BMX

 

Chris's Top 5 Mags

 

5. Autocar

4. Club International

3. Loaded

2. Empire

1. 442

 

Max's Top Five Magazines: (Current)

 

5. Heat (So shoot me.)

4. Top Gear

3. NME/Q Special Editions

2. Q

1. Playboy

 

Max's Top 5 Max.

 

5. Quick (as in on the uptake)

4. Sarcastic

3. Hippy

2. Lazy

1. Obsessive

 

Chris's Top 5 Max descriptions (Of course)

 

5. Fun.

4. Obsessive

3. Intelligent

2. Monkey

1. Willed

 

Chris's Top 5 Chris descriptions

 

5. Humourous

4. Immature

3. Lazy

2. Average

1. Self-Loathing (I know thats two words but if you can find one to replace it put that in)

 

Max's Top 5 Insults. ( I am afriad the classics always rank highly)

 

5. Baboon Ass Head

4. Twiglet D*ck

3. D*ck

2. Fuc* Off

1. Twa*

 

Chris's Top 5 Insults

 

5. Fuck Nugget

4. Cock Sucker

3. Eat me

2. Get Bent

1. Bite Me

 

Max's Top 5 Words the Describe Chris

 

5. Old.

4. Social.

3. Hardworking.

2. Sporty.

1. Grey

 

Chris's I know where I was Top 5

 

5. Elvis dying. (At my Godfathers house in Christchurch. Remember seeing front page of paper).

4. Herald of Free enterprise (On the morning of my first day of a saturday job saw the paper on the kitchen table with this most impossible picture of a boat on its side)

3. Kurt Cobain (In the Crown and Treaty when Dave Long ran in and told everyone)

2. World Trade center (In bed with Jen in Philly when Rob shouted up the stairs to turn the TV on)

1. Princess Di's Death (Waking up in bed with Sadie in some elses house in Northampton and the owner shouting upstairs that Di was dead)

 

Max's Top Five Moments in Your Life where your kids will as you "Can remember where you were when 'X' happened".

 

5. Dunblane Disaster, (In bed, Nene College, listening to Radio in Halls.)

4. Kurt Cobain biting a bullet. (Just before Bob's Gig in Totnes, when I found out, spent the night bumming out the crusty Devon Nirvana Fans.)

3. Townsend Torresen Ferry Disaster, ZeeBruugee. (Saturday Morning, pissed off cos there was no kids TV, then me and my Dad went to my mates house to fix his bike for his cycling proficiency test.

2. Princess Diana Crashing and Snuffing It. (Outside Fusions Pissed when it happened, 5am ready for work at Somerfields when I found out.)

1. Challenger Shuttle Blowing Up. (Living Room watching News-round)

 

Max's Top 5 Beatles Songs (I like a few Beatles tunes, although, mostly as covers)

 

5. Maggie Mae

4. I am the Walrus

3. Get Back

2. Come Together

1. Eleanor Rigby

 

Chris's (Invetibly) Top 5 Beatles songs (Just pick 5)

 

5. You got to hide your love away.

4. The night before

3. I've just seen a face.

2. For no one

1. I need you

 

Chris's Top 5 stones

 

5. Gimme Shelter

4. Lets spend the night together

3. As tears go by

2. Under my thumb

1. Play with Fire

 

Max's Top 5 Rolling Stones Songs! :)

 

5. Start me Up.

4. Can't you hear me knocking?

3. Memo to Turner

2. Little T and A

1. Paint it Black

 

Max's  Top 5 Muppets

 

5. Swedish Chef

4. Fozzie

3. Beaker

2. Animal

1. Rolf (Ralf?)(Gonzo was a knob.)

 

Chris's Top 5 Muppets

 

5. Jonny and sal (New style)

4. Statler and Wardorf (Wha ha ha)

3. Beaker (Meep Meep)

2. Swedish Chef (Herdy berdy)

1. Animal (Woman!)

 

Chris's Top 5 2004. Difficult. It's not been a good year

 

5. Getting Management position (Can't exactly say I love my job though)

4. Getting Broadband. (Whoooo)

3. Night out in Newry Northern Ireland (The flying trip)

2. Antwerp company trip (Sad but true)

1. Going to Philadelphia

 

 

Max's Top 5 Animals at The Zoo.

 

5. Petting Animals (Lambs etc.)

4. Spiders/Creepy Crawlies

3. Reptiles

2. Chimps

1. Gorillas

 

Max's Top 5 2004

 

5. Getting to Ride Motorbike

4. Ronnie, Reggie, Charlie.

3. Summer Off Work

2. VEGA

1. Lotus

 

Chris's Top 5 Animals you like to see at the zoo.

 

5. Tiger

4. Orangatang

3. Chimps

2. Otters

1. Ring Tailed Limas

 

Chris's Top Five Football Teams

 

5. Brentford

4. Plymouth

3. Northampton

2. Uxbridge

1. Arsenal

 

Max's Top Five Simpsons.

 

5. The One with Jagger et al

4. The one that's Dedicated to the Steel Workers of America

3. Simpsons in UK.

2. Major Homer: Homer and Country Singer Larleene

1. Homer and Mindy

 

Chris's Top 5 Simpsons. Tricky for me to remember them

 

5. When Troy McClure marries Patty or Selma.

4. Side show bob (Cape fear rip off)

3. Flaming homer/mo episode.

2. When the power station people go on a team building weekend

1. Homer is an inventor (Make up gun)

 

 

Max's Top Five Football Teams

 

5. Torquay

4. Aldershot

3. Wolves/Albion (cant decide)

2. Arsenal

1. Plymouth Argyle

 

Max's Top 5 Film Quotes.

 

5. "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

4. "Yoo-Hoo, I'll make you famous" (- then shoots the guy), (Young Guns 2)

3. "That was so fucking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit, my baby's all growns up."

2. "Doug is like a fax machine"

1. (Tough one to chose from this film): "You're drunk.", "I assure you I'm not officer. I've only had a few ales. "

 

Chris's Top 5 Film quotes (This is difficult)

 

5. It's still there "BOOM" no it ain't (Kellys Heroes)

4. Hi Doug, Oh Hi Emily, Hi Steve, Whatever Emily.

3. Some rescue this turned out to be. Well maybe you'd like it back in your cell your highness.

2. We're gonna need a bigger boat (Jaws)

1. Screws fall out all the time sir. The worlds an imperfect place..

 

Chris's Top 5 Nene.

 

5. Llama all dayers. (We played the most horrific drinking games and got terribly pissed)

4. Passing with good marks.

3. The feeling after completing our final year project presentation

2. Cutting my hair off.

1. Playing football for the Llamas

 

Max's top 5.. Memories of Nene College

 

5  Clubbing in The Vault!

4  Practicle jokes in halls.

3  End of Term/Course Night.

2  Project Results.

1 Meeting You/Bulldog

 

Max's Top 5 Comics.

 

5.  Playhour (late 70s)

4.  Star Wars (82)

3.  Dandy

2.  Hog (80's Viz for Kids)

1.  Beano (Better than Dandy!)

 

Chris's Top 5 Comics.

 

5. Beano (Favourite kiddie one)

4. Look in (Had articles and Strips)

3. Doctor who mag (Dad liked it so did I)

2. Deadline (First adult comic)

1. 2000AD (The classic)

 

Chris's Top 5 Colours

 

5.Cinnamon Pearl

4. Caramel

3. Black

2. Navy Blue

1. Purple

 

Max's Top 5 Colours

 

5. Grey

4. Brown

3. Black

2. Green

1. Blue

 

Max's Top 5 Alcoholic Drinks

 

5. Cider

4. Smirnoff Ice

3. Two Dogs

2. Ale

1. Lager

 

Chris's Top 5 alcoholic drinks

 

5. Alcopop

4. Wine (White)

3. Lager (When its hot)

2. Ale (anytime)

1. Gin and tonic (On a Hot day)

 

Chris's Top 5 Reasons you'd like to be a Girl.

 

5. It's acceptable to be irrational

4. Can be a Lesbian!!!

3. Can go out and pretty much guarantee a bang

2. Womens communal Changing rooms (Gosh I would go swimming and the gym a lot)

1. Zeppelins. (Knowing my luck I would get tea cups.)

 

Max's Top 5 Reasons you'd like to be a Girl.

 

5. Can use s@x as a weapon.

4. Can have multiple Orgazms

3. Can get s@x at any time on the pull.

2. Can look at Bobies anytime.

1. Can feel at Bobies at anytime.

 

Max's Top 5 irritating habits/traits in other people.

 

5. Slow Drivers/Ppl who don't indicate. (Kill)

4. Ppl who sniff/wretch to clear throat. (Yuk)

3. People that talk in meetings with fake/false authority/knowledge (Nnnngggghhkktt)

2. Mobile Phone Coversations in Trains. (Mongo NO!)

1. Being Late. (More than 1 minute is too much!)

 

Chris's Top 5 irratating habits/traits in other people.

 

5. Openly picking nose. (Do it secretly like everybody else)

4. Talking loudly in public environments i.e. buses, lunch rooms

3. Queue jumping (I kill someone)

2. Whistling a tune (I kill someone)

1. Biting nails (I kill someone)

 

Chris Top 5 Puddings

 

5. New York Cheesecake

4. Creme Caramel

3. Lemon Merague pie.

2. This pud my mum made. Layer ginger nuts, layer cream, layer manderines x2

1. Trifle. (NO SPONGE)

 

Chris's Bottom 5 Puddings

 

5. Low Fat economy supermarket own brand ice cream (No No NO NO NO)

4. Ice pop (Bolox)

3. Stuffed apples

2. Plain Fruit (Is NOT a pudding)

1. Artic Roll (I felt Cheated)

 

Max's Top 5 Puddings

 

5. Christmas Pudding, with Custard (no alcohol/rind or other crappy bits)

4. Rhubarb Crumble with Custard (Homemade)

3. Syrup Sponge with Custard (Homemade)

2. Apple Pie, with Custard (small chunk of apple, no cinnamon) (Homemade)

1. Chocolate Sponge with Chocolate Sauce (Homemade)

 

Max Bottom 5 Puddings

 

5. Tinned Fruit/Fruit Salad (I'd almost cry if this was brought out)

4. Vienetta (Cop-Out)

3. Black Forest Gateaux (Why?)

2. Spotted Dick (Ah, I don't know what I don't like this, raisin I think. Puke)

1. Bread and Butter Pudding (Satan in a Bowl: adding custard, a pudding it does not make. Nooo. Toast your bread , not soak it in milk)

 

Max's Top 5 Cheeses

 

5. Cornish Jarg (Covered in Nettles - Musty taste if mature, Tangy if not. Crusty towards edge, Soft Centre)

4. 5 Counties (Covers the hard cheese group nicely: Double Gloucester, Caerphilly, Cheshire, Leicester, and Cheddar)

3. Devon Blue (Like Stilton, Firm but crumbly blue; medium, creamy flavour)

2. Camembert (Gooey)

1. Brie (Soft)

 

Chris's Top 5 Cheeses

 

5. Mascapone (In things though.

4. Applewood

3. Brie

2. Jarlsberg (Nutty. mmm)

1. Doncelata (Brie/stilton cross)

 

Chris's Top 5 Pieces of Art (Paintings)

 

5. Orphelia (Millais)

4. The fighting temerarie (Turner)

3. Nighthawks (Hopper)

2. A painting in the national which I can't remember the name of (Hunters in background landworkers in foreground)

1. The lady of shalot (Waterhouse)

 

Max's Top 5 Pieces of Art (Paintings)

 

5. Nighthawks - Hopper

4. Campbell's Soup - Warhol

3. Cornfields - Van Gough

2. No.5 - Pollack

1. Gas - Hopper

 

Chris's Top 5 Eighties soft rock Classics. LETS ROCK.

 

5. Europe - The final countdown

4. Meatloaf - Bat out of Hell

3. Chicago - If you leave me now

2. Whitesnake - Here I go again

1. Boston - More than a feeling

 

Max's Top 5 Eighties soft rock Classics. LETS ROCK.

 

5. Foreigner - I want to know what love it.

4. Reo Speedwagon - Made for Loving You.

3. Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper

2. Europe - The Final Countdown.

1. Rainbow - Since've been Gone. (Air Guitar!)

 

Max's 5 Top Five 'Non Simpson' Simpsons Characters

 

5. Dancing Pete (One Episode, chuck him a quater and watch the little sailor dance)

4. Proffessor Fink

3. Chief Wigum

2. Moe Slizzlack

1. Sideshow Bob

 

Chris's op Five 'Non Simpson' Simpsons Characters

 

5. McBane (Cool)

4. Monty Burns

3. Apoo (Has some good lines)

2. Troy Mclure (Hello I'm Troy Mclure)

1. Mad Scientist (Mm hey)

 

Max's Top 5 Musical Acts the you want to see but can't cos they dont exist anymore.

 

5. The Beatles circa 1966 (Want to see if they really were that sh1t)

4. Led Zeppelin circa 1972

3. Elvis Preistly circa Comeback Special (tough one, I like 50's Elvis, but Vegas Elvis gave it beans)

2. The Stone Roses circa 1989 (I just want to adore them)

1. The Rolling Stones w.Brian circa 1967 (No finer Act)

 

 

Chris's op 5 Musical Acts the you want to see but can't cos they dont exist anymore.

 

5. Simple Minds

4. Beatles (Just to say I had)

3. Jam

2. Smiths

1. Stone Roses

 

Max's Top 5 , I wish I was there...

 

5. Berlin Wall Falling

4. World Cup 66 Victory

3. Man on Moon (For Sure!)

2. Woodstock

1. Rolling Stones in the 60's (Early Eel Pie Island/Rock n Roll Circus) Hyde Park is also there, but no Brian! :(

 

Max's and Chris's Excellent Asventure: Top 5

 

5. World War 1 Football Match in the Trenches (OTT) (See who won!).

4. Hitler commiting suicide. (Bring along popcorn and large coke)

3. First Powered Flight (Wright Bros, short distance flights, blueprint for Easy Jet!)

2. Death of Marylin Monroe/Brian Jones (Accident/Murder Who knows, can I stop it happening)

1. Birth of Christ (or any miracle).

 

Chris's Historical events you wish you'd been at (Feel free to put rolling stone hyde park gig in)

 

5. Charles the first Execution. (The day we killed our king. Naughty)

4. Kennedy assasination.

3. Signing of the Magna Carta.

2. 1st Moon Landing. (When ever that was)

1. England World Cup Final 66. (Obvious)

 

Chris's Events in History you wish you could see. (Via some special history device)

 

5. D Day Landing. (I would find my grandad and watch him for a bit. Soldier Cam)

4. Kennedy assasination. (With all the benefit of hindsight I suppose)

3. Battle of Hastings. (What did happen to Harold)

2. Battle of Waterloo. (What a Punch up)

1. Jesus (At any point. Just curious to see what he looked like. And I'm not religious!)

 

Chris's Top 5 movie Stars you'd go to see any film in

 

5. Judy Garland

4. Jimmy Stewart

3. Kenneth Williams

2. Johnny Depp

1. Tim Robbins

 

Max's Top 5 movie Stars you'd go to see any film in

 

5. Drew Barrymore

4. Sandra Bullock

3. Hugh Grant

2. Vince Vaughn

1. Will Ferrall

 

Max's Top 5 things you would do if "I only had more time"

 

5. Buy Christmas presents with thought (Too Lazy)

4. Visit my sister - (Should make effort - "I'm too busy")

3. Sort out Garage/Trees etc about house - (Needs doing, but boring)

2. Get to Grips with Linux - (Must do this - but its so chuffing hard)

1. Learn Guitar - (Zero Talent - Love the Idea)

 

Chris's Top 5 things you would do if "I only had more time"

 

5. Go jogging cross country (I hate running on my own)

4. Tinker with car (Although I would only ever be tempted to do this if I had a garage and tools, so never gonna happen)

3. Do some MCP's (Never happen. Boring)

2. Learn to paint watercolours (I'm talentless. This would last 5 minutes)

1. Learn to play Guitar. (Like the notion. Know I would never do.)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 New Years Resolutions for 2005

 

5. Build Jacquies website from scratch.

4. Save money so I can move house (Very difficult to do)

3. Move house (Might not happen. Don't tell Jacq)

2. Read more books from the top 100 (Did about 6 this year)

1. Fix more things. (Stop being so lazy)

 

Max's Top 5 New Years Resolutions for 2005

 

5. More regular Exercise (again!)

4. Save Money more / Work out better plan.

3. Try not to antagonise family.

2. Argue Less.

1. Work harder.

 

Max's Top 5 Movie Moments

 

5. Swingers (You're the big winner)

4. Anchorman (The shouting scene)

3. Withnail and I (Again, so many to pick, but "Are you a farmer?" springs to mind.

2. Roxbury (So many to pick either the Fax Machine or the Voguing in the cars).

1. Destruction of the 1st DeathStar. (I wish I was him)

 

Chris's Top 5 Movie Moments (This is almost impossible to pick 5)

 

5. Jaws ("We're gonna need a bigger boat)

4. Withnail. (Doing the washing up "The sinks gone wrong")

3. Star Wars (Opening spaceship scene. My childhood changed forever)

2. Karate kid (one footed kick) (Go Daniel san)

1. Saving Pivate Ryan (25 min Jaw dropping mind blowing Beach Landing scene)

 

Max's First 5 things you would do if you won 5 million on the lottery.

 

5. Buy many Stones and Roses rare collectables.

4. Sell House, get big house with Music Room/Cinema Room Etc..

3. MASSIVE West London Shopping Spree: Clothes/Gadgets/Music etc.

2. Distribute a wack of cash to friends. Large amounts.

1. Walk into a Bentley showroom, with cash, wearing scruffy ass clothes and buy a Baby Bentley.

 

Chris's First 5 things you would do if you won 5 million on the lottery. (Read 1 to 5)

 

5. Rent an appartment in Philly.

4. Have a shopping spree in a Large HMV.

3. Buy a rather nice Porsche. Drive it to Dads. Give it to him.

2. After not handing out cash to a certain person. Tell him why.

1. Draw out 15,000 in 20's, put it in a bin bag. Go to work. Distribute.

 

Chris's Favourite Monsters/Aliens/Villians

 

5. Godzilla (Original. Hilarious)

4. Cylons (Thought they were cool)

3. Darth Vader (Of course)

2. Daleks (As a kid. scary)

1. Alien (Nightmare material for years)

 

Max's Top 5 Villains

 

5. Zool. (I can't open a fridge without seeing the gateway to hell!!)

4. Boss Hogg (Surely they were just the good ol' boys?)

3. Daleks (Crap-my-pants)

2. Zoltar from Battle of the Planets. (Ace Cartoon)

1. Darth Vader. (da da da, da da da, da da da. DA DA DA, DA DA DA DA DA DA.)

 

Chris's Favourite TV/movie vehicles

 

5. Thunderbird 3 (Rocket!!)

4. General Lee (That wonderful light blue car)

3. Batmobile (From the TV series)

2. James Bond Lotus Esprit (Had a few of these as toys)

1. X wing (Really cool space ship)

 

Max's Favourite TV/movie vehicles

 

5. Coyote (Hardcastle and McCormick - 80's looking Elise thing)

4. White Elise Turbo (Submarine car with Missiles - Ideal)

3. A-Team Van (They had a plan, and I liked it)

2. Knight Rider (Camp Car)

1. General Lee (2nd love after te Starky Car)

 

Chris's Top 5 Lessons in adult-life.

 

5. A day is like a small box; there is only so many things you can put in to it. (Only sage advice father said)

4. I'd rather you didn't call me slag. (Great advice from girlfriend who reminded me that not all women like dirty talk)

3. You certainly talk a good game. (John Wards advice to me that if I played as well as talked I'd be some player)

2. You always have something negative to say (Allen. A subtle but life changing event)

1. Never lend anybody money. (Grandad, when asked to give me a piece of life advice)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Lessons in adult-life.

 

5. Pulling, it's a team game. (Swingers)

4. Spell-check everything, it takes a minute and stops you looking like a dick. (Smith)

3. Never walk around the office without paper in your hand. (Smith)

2. Think before you speak, aka Put THIS (point to head) in gear before you use THIS (point to mouth). (Father)

1. Volenteerer for everything. (Be it last or first to do something - Father)

 

 

Max's Top 5 WWW Sites.

 

5. TheHun.com (Relaxed Righthanded mouse viewing)

4. SELOC - (South East Lotus Owners Club - Previous Sites would be Hornets Nest/MGOC)

3. Ebay.co.uk (Collectors Corner)

2. BBC.co.uk (Keeps me up-to-date on all matters)

1. Google.co.uk (My Portal to the World)

 

Chris's Top 5 WWW Sites.

 

5. Streetmap (I wanted to put Ebay but my list was too close to yours)

4. The Hun. (The orginal and the best)

3. BBC.co.uk. (Good for all round news stuff)

2. Yahoo (My search engine of choice)

1. Guardian Football (Gets a daily look)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Abilities he wished he had.

 

5. TO able to fit in with larger groups

4. To be able to engage myself

3. Ride a Motorbike without Fear

2. Write Songs Like Jagger/Richards

1. Play Guitar like Hendrix

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Abilities he wished he had.

 

5. Public speaking.

4. To be artistic

3. To be able to play piano

2. To be able to play guitar

1. To be amazing at football

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Inventions of All Time.

 

5. Gun (Gave power to the masses, enabled them to over throw opressive overlords)

4. Penicillin. (Simple. Saved millions)

3. Silicon chip. (All modern life is down to this little buggar)

2. Steam engine (First viable mechanised power, a statement that it could be done)

1. Printing Press (Education to the masses)

 

 

Max's Top 5 Inventions of All Time.

 

5. Aeroplane

4. Petrol Engine

3. Telephone (Mobile/Landline)

2. The Wheel

1. Communication (Speech, Reading, Writing, Music)

 

 

Chris's Top 5 Presents you got, ever. (not bought by yourself)

 

5. Scalectrix. (Minis one, which you now have)

4. Fishing Rod. (A good one when I was really into it)

3. Full Arsenal Kit (From my cool Gran)

2. Racer.

1. Raleigh Striker (Didn't know I was getting it. Amazing to see a brand new bike appear after all my other presents had been opened. I was already happy with what I had)

 

Max's Top 5 Presents you got, ever. (not bought by yourself)

 

5. Scalextrix - B-day 1985

4. Star Wars Snowspeeder - Crimbo 1981

3. Starsky and Hutch Car - Crimbo 1979

2. MAX 853P - B-day/Crimbo 2000

1. Raleigh Burner (Night Burner) - B-day - 1984

 

Max's Top 5 Superhero Powers.

 

5. Super Strength

4. Webcasters

3. The Power of Flight

2. Live Forever

1. Invisible Powers

 

Chris's Top 5 Superhero Powers.

 

5. Produce flames from hands (Useless for day to day use. Never need a lighter though)

4. Astounding Speed.

3. Incredible strength.

2. Be invisible. (Pervtastic)

1. To fly. (But would need some special ability not to feel cold)

 

Max's Top 5 Places you want to go to but haven't yet.

 

5. Solomon Islands

4. California

3. Canada

2. Australia

1. The Moon

 

Chris's Top 5 Places you want to go to but haven't yet.

 

5. Mars (Always been fasinated by it. Also like to see saturn)

4. Rome (More History)

3. Australia (Must be lovely)

2. Japan (Complete culture shock. Would be scary and cool)

1. Eygpt (History n that)

 

Chris's Top 5 Books.

 

5. The Belgariad (Actually 5 books making one story. Had nearly as good 5 book follow up called The Mallorean)

4. Pride and Prejudice (Bit girly but just so well written)

3. The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (Childhood favourite)

2. Jurassic Park (Most exciting book I've read)

1. Hobbit (Is a much more enjoyable story than the LOTR)

 

Max's Top 5 Books.

 

5. Guinness Book of Music (Any Fact Book by Guinness really)

4. Killing Floor: Lee Child (Ex-Military Policeman/hard man does good)

3. Good Omens: Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman (Funny Occult Devil Type Story)

2. The Rotter's Club: Jonathan Coe (Growing up in 70s Birmingham)

1. Chronicle of the 20th Century/Pictures of the 20th Century (Great History Books)

 

Max's Top 5 Things you want to do/see before you die.

 

5. Plymouth Argyle in the Premiership

4. Retire Young

3. 100th Birthday Telegram from Queen/King

2. See Australia

1. Have Kids/Grandkids

 

Chris's Top 5 Things you want to do/see before you die.

 

5. See Earth from space. (Never gonna happen. But I couldn't honestly think of anything else)

4. Drive a really expensive sports car. (Bit boring)

3. Play something I like on the guitar. (I could do this)

2. See England win the World Cup. (A very close second. This is more likely to make me cry than the birth of my first child)

1. A Child. (I would at least like to experience this side of life)

 

Chris's Top 5 biggest regrets of your life so far.

 

5. That I bought an XR2 and not a mark1 golf. (That flipping car cost me a fortune)

4. That I got made redundant from ADP. (Not my fault but 18 months later my colleagues were in the USA)

3. That I didn't say yes to Gerladine. (Haunts me to this day)

2. That I didn't work out what I wanted to do at an early age. (I am where I am now)

1. That I didn't leave Sadie at college. (Or before I got there.)

 

Max's Top 5 biggest regrets of your life so far.

 

5. Not getting on with Family better as a kid.

4. Not passing driving test at 17.

3. Not working at school (double edge sword, as failing got me here!!)

2. Not learning a musical instrument.

1. Not being able to know my brother.

 

Chris's Top 5 Teachers/Subjects.

 

5. Art (It was a no brainer)

4. English (I loved creative writing)

3. Miss Bray (She was the hottest teacher ever. Never forget her helping me with my pottery)

2. Mrs Garratt (Helped me love English)

1. Mr Vaughan (Absolutely incredible primary school teacher that used to read us Roald Dahl stories)

 

Max's Top 5 Teachers/Subjects.

 

5. Games (Ultimate Doss)

4. Maths (60s Hippy/Pot Head Maths teacher made it a good laugh, still failed!!)

3. French (Cockney Teacher, stank of fags, great bloke!)

2. History (Great Subject, toss teachers)

1. RE (A-level 6 girls, 1 boy - and a 25 yr old blonde female teacher that porked students, say no more)

 

Chris's Top 5 Dream Jobs. (This is one of the ones where I could have done 20)

 

5. Editor of Club international. (Oh god)

4. Lambourghini test driver. (Or any other super car maker)

3. Pilot. (Imagine being able to fly anywhere)

2. La senza bust measurer. (Oh yes)

1. Second hand record store owner. (Of course)

 

Max's Top 5 Dream Jobs.

 

5. Rally Car Driver or maybe TOCA: Pro Driver anyway. (eeeeeeeem em em em )

4. Manager of the Stone Roses (when they get back together)

3. Second Hand Vintage/Collectors Record Store Owner

2. Owner/Mechanic Classic Car Garage (British Cars)

1. Editor-in-Chief Playboy

 

Max's Top Kids Memories/Stuff that happening to you.

 

5. Sooty Show LIVE! - Paignton

4. Long Summers

3. Going to Cinema with Dad

2. Learning to Skateboard

1. Learning to Ride Bike

 

Chris's Top Kids Memories/Stuff that happening to you.

 

5. Generally playing outside (Tree swings, bikes, building sites, football, Vandalism etc)

4. Butlins holiday with my grandparents (Aged 8)(I was 8 not my grandparents)

3. American girl that visited every year (Ended up being the first girl I slept with)

2. Fishing with my Godfather (Was the dad/big brother I never had)

1. Christmas (Always amazing when I was a kid)

 

 

Max's Top 5 towns/cities in England

 

5. Uxbridge (Ah, great Days!)

4. Wolverhampton/Birmingham (Great Times there, Great People, Kipper Tie)

3. Kingston on Thames (Great for Shops! Good Night Out)

2. Plymouth (Tis Purdy)

1. Brighton (Superb!)

 

Chris's Top 5 towns/cities in England

 

5. Uxbridge (Grew up there)

4. Sheffield (Dawnie)

3. Reading (Local good town)

2. Kingston (Not so local good town)

1. London (Right on the door step, everything you want)

 

Chris's All time top five cereals

 

5. Porridge (Cold day, nothing better)

4. Frosted mini wheats (Sugar!)

3. Jordan's crunch (With raisins)

2. Coco Pops (Kids food adults love)

1. Crunchy nut Cornflakes (Great combo)

 

Max's All time top five cereals

 

5. Sugar Puffs (Yummy, even when soggy, top cereal as a kid in the 70s/80s)

4. Choco Cornflakes (Crisp, Sugar AND Chocolate)

3. Coco Pops (Sugar and Chocolate: Became King of Kids Cereals in the Mid-80s)

2. Frosties (Gimmee Sugar)

1. Cornflakes (Crisp and Tasty)

 

Chris's Top 5 ice creams/frozen desserts.

 

5. Fat frog (Had them at school. Not made now)

4. Fresh Lemon Sorbet (Possibly Mango)

3. Walls Twister (Bit like the fat frog but with ice cream on it.)

2. Toffee flavour Haagan Daaz. (Yum)

1. Coffee flavour Haagan Daaz. (Dunno why, Just love it)

 

Max's Top 5 ice creams/frozen desserts.

 

5. Ice Cream Mars: You can't improve a Mars, but they did improve ice cream.

4. Salcombe Dairy Raspberry Ripple Clotted Cream Ice Cream (Purdy)

3. Walls Twister: Great Blend of Zing and Ice Cream

2. Walls Magnum: I love the Double Choc, but any will do.

1. Ice Cream Twix: Addictive! :)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Toys (Non Computer/Board Games)

 

5. Transformers

   (Prowl, Optimus Prime, Hot Rod) - 80 Classic, Robots in disguise you know.

4. Scalextrix (Matchbox Mini Set - Cops and Robbers) - They went fast.

3. Toy Cars

   (General Lee, Startsky+Hutch, and Knight Rider) - Staple Toy in my Manor.

2. Skateboard (Powell+Peralta Underwood Deck) - Secondary Mode of Transport.

1. BMX (Raleigh Burner) - Premier Mode of Transport.

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Toys (Non Computer/Board Games)

 

5. Euphrates and Tigris (A bit complicated but never had a boring game)

4. Mah-jongg (Best with 4, and a nice set, rummy plus)

3. Scrabble (Original and best)

2. Diplomacy (How to fall out with your friends.) (Clever risk)

1. El Grande (best with 4 to 5 players)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Chocolate Bars

 

5.Flake (With a coffee Mmm)

4.Ripple (with a coffee too)

3.Cadbury Whole nut (Especially with a coffee)

2.Spira (Nicest with a coffee)

1.Topic (With a coffee this is a top snack)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Chocolate Bars

 

5. Double Decker (Dad liked them, ergo I do!)

4. Mars (Man Food)

3. KitKat (Wafers n Chocolate - can it get better?)

2. Boost (I love Biscuit)

1. Yorkie (Fruit and Biscuit - new entry last week, love it)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Mr Men

 

5. Mr Fussy (Marmalade was never the same again)

4. Mr Mean (Lumps of Coal - Parents used to threaten me with that)

3. Mr Rush (Zoom Zoom, I wanted to be him)

2. Mr Noisy (Roar!)

1. Mr Tickle (Original and Best)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Mr Men

 

5. Mr Messy (had this one)

4. Mr Jelly (had this one)

3. Mr Greedy (My first one)

2. Mr Impossible (I liked this guy)

1. Mr Tickle (What a great concept. I had a pen top too)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Sticker Albums

 

5. Some motorbike one circa 81/82   (I only got this cause my mate at school had it and he gave me his swaps)

4. Football 83 (Nearly completed this one)

3. Espania 82 (Was exciting for me)

2. Soccer 81 (Got as a knee jerk reaction to the disappointment the year before)

1. Football 80 (I had all the stickers but not the book. Big story behind this one)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Sticker Albums

 

5. Football League (1986)

4. World Cup (1982)

3. Dandy/Beano (1988)

2. ET (1983)

1. Return of the Jedi (1983)

(Although I would replace this with Garbage Pail Kids, but there was no Album)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Top Trumps

 

5. FHM Deck (Must Buy!)

4. Aeroplanes (Military)

3. Fast Cars Set (Real 80s Supercars)

2. Monsters Pack (Werewolf, Dracula Etc.)

1. Car Deck (All sorts of Cars, Aston Martin to Renault 5 - The only pack I ever owned)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Top Trumps

 

5. Mini pack of helicopters

4. Sports cars Circa 78/79

3. Horror deck I had.

2. Doctor Who.

1. Marvel superheroes. (I was just fascinated by them)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Computer Games

 

5. Defender (Too difficult but just so cool)

4. Track and field (Everybody played it)

3. Asteriods (Tricky but easy to play)

2. Gauntlet (Arcade version, so much fun with 4 people)

1. Galaxians (Better than space invaders, sounded better to)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Computer Games

 

5. BBC Swoop (Like Space Invaders, but better)

4. BBC Lander/Defender (Only the best could master this.)

3. Bally/Midway PacMan (Repetitive but addictive)

2. BBC Labyrinth (Great Game, never finished it)

1. BBC Elite (Genius)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Kids TV Shows

 

5. Ulysses 31: (Adult stuff, good stories)

4. Cities of Gold: (Great Stories - Even if the Dubbing was a little off the mark)

3. Transformers: (Robots AND Cars!)

2. Godzilla/Godzooky: (He's 10 Stories high!!)

1. G-Force/BOTP: (The only relieve on a TV that doesn't show Star Wars)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Kids TV Shows

 

5. Road Runner

4. Dangermouse

3. Ulysses 31

2. Animaniacs (Superbly written!)

1. Tom and Jerry (The all time classic)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 People in History

 

5. Churchill (Right guy for the moment)

4. Shakespeare (Although I could swap him with Turner)

3. Newton (Mad and Brilliant)

2. Duke of Marlborough (Our most successful military commander ever)

1. Brunel (Built the biggest ship EVER. I think)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 People in History

 

5. Rasputin (With him Boney M would have been in trouble)

4. Guy Fawkes (Had some good ideas)

3. Beethoven (Rockin' Beats)

2. Jesus (Good Beard and Walked on Water)

1. Churchill. (He da man)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Kids films

 

5. Grease (It was sooo cool when I was 7)

4. Raiders of the lost Ark (Parents said it was the best film ever)

3. Goonies (Classic all time kids movie)

2. Karate Kid (I so wanted to go to an American school)

1. Star Wars (Obvious)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Kids Films

 

5. Dambusters (Oldie, but I loved it as a kid)

4. Goonies (I wanted to be them so much.)

3. Indiana Jones (any of them, but Ark, if I had to choose one) (Great Stories - Great Hero)

2. Ghostbusters (First Film since SW that really counted)

1. Star Wars (et al) (Was there life before it?)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Bands

 

5. Muse. (Purdy boys from the Homeland!)

4. Led Zeppelin (Took rock to a new level)

3. Beastie Boys (80's in Cornwall and then Super Cool Licks after that)

2. The Stone Roses (First Album is beyond any other since.)

1. The Rolling Stones. (I am at one with the Jagger)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Bands

 

5. Stone Roses (Cool and redolent of wonderful days)

4. Smiths (Just plain good)

3. Beatles (Up bringing)

2. Radiohead (First 3 Albums only)

1. Rush (The first band I was really into. Still love it)

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Cars

 

5. Mk1 VW golf (Classic everyman cool)

4. Honda NSX MK1 (Just looks fantastic)

3. Porsche GT3 RS (Performance and looks)

2. GT 40 (Best looking car ever) White with blue stripes

1. Lamborgini Gallardo (I'd love to own a Lamborgini and this one isn't 7 feet wide)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Cars

 

5: Lancia Delta Rally: (Perfect Rally Car)

4: MGB Jacques Coune Edition: (Collectors Edition)

3: GT-40: (British Style, US Grunt)

2: Bentley Continental GT: (Ultimate in Power and Luxury and Cash!)

1: Golf Gti Mk1: (Although German - Awesome Car, - Mk1 Sciroco Storm may also apply)

 

 

Chris's All Time Top 5 Birds

 

5.Cameron Diaz (In the Mask)

4.Denise Richards (In Starship troopers)

3.Kathy Lloyd (As was)

2.Heather Graham (In everything)

1.Kelly Brook (Nuff Said)

 

Max's All Time Top 5 Birds

 

5: Marylyn Monroe (Original Chunk)

4: Jade Jagger (!)

3: Drew Barrymore (Dirt)

2: Sophie Dahl (New Style Chunk)

1: Geri Halliwell (Union Jack dress)