Coming out

Discovering your sexuality
It's OK to be gay!
It's up to you
Help is available
Help and on-line resources

School days are the happiest days of your life, or so some people say; but if you are picked on, this may not be the case. Children pick on someone for all kinds of reasons and sometimes for apparently no reason at all. This is especially true for those who might be called 'gay,' 'queer,' 'dike' or 'lessie.' Many schools now have policies to counter bullying and harrassment in whatever form. Everyone has a right to be treated with respect. However, there are various ways that you can get help if you feel that you are being picked on because of your sexuality. See Help and Online Resources at the bottom of this page

Discovering your Sexuality
Our sexual idenities develop with time. Some people are sure of their sexual identity from an early age but for many, it happens at puberty along with body and hormonal changes.You might discover that you are more attracted to one sex or the other, for some the attraction is equal whilst others may only be really sure of the true feelings later in life. If you think that you might perhaps be gay here are a few questions you could ask yourself:

• When I dream or have sexual fantasies, are they about boys or girls?
• Have I ever had strong passionate feelings or fallen in love with someone of my own sex?
• Do I feel different from the others?
• Are my feelings towards boys and men or girls and women genuine and absolutely clear?

It doesn't matter if you are not certain, you will become surer with time and only you will know how to define yourself correctly.

It's OK to be gay!
The important thing to remember is that you are not alone in the way you feel and that there is no reason why you should be made to suffer for simply being the person that you are. It is OK to be gay! There are lots of gay, lesbian and bisexual people of all ages and of all races and religions. You may know some famous gay people in history or alive today who are happy, successful and proud of who they are. If you are bullied at school, try to find a sympathetic teacher to talk to. Look up your local gay youth group, call gay switchboard visit some gay youth web pages or contact one of the helplines listed below.

Telling others
Only you know how you really feel about your sexual identity and it's up to you to decide if and when you want to tell anyone. Some people find it a great relief to 'come out' - admit to themselves and to tell others that they are gay or lesbian. Others find it better for all kinds of reasons to keep it to themselves or 'stay in the closet.' No one has the right to pressurize you in to doing something with which you don't feel comfortable.

Help is available
If you are having difficulty help available. You may find that coming out presents no problems at all and that your friends and parents are very supportive. But it can be difficult thing to do and it is worth talking it over with someone you trust before telling your parents or colleagues at work. You might decide that you would rather not tell anyone. That also is your right as is the right to change you mind when you feel it is appropriate. Remember you don't have to put up with bullying; teachers and headteachers have a duty to deal with any kind of harrassment including homophobic bullying. Unfortunately, homophobic bullying is almost endemic in British Schools so in November 2007 Stonewall launched a zero tolerance banner campaign "SOME PEOPLE ARE GAY. GET OVER IT! This is part of their 'Education for all' campaign to tackle homphobic bullying in school. You can find out more here

Help and Online Resources