 TWATTO THE STAT MAN
Resident statistician Twatto gives us a helping hand
with the numbers game. Armed with his
rusty abacus and 1946 rotary cogged Sperry adding machine Twatto, a man who
is rumoured to have been born potty trained, tries to prove that it is not
just not just a game.
No.2
Beckhams Column Inches
Being more of an aficionado of steam locomotives than
football, I was struggling for something for my Early Doors column. I really
can't see how you can get so worked up about 22 grown men kicking a ball
around a muddy piece of grass when compared to the beauty of a full blown
head of steam emanating from a class 69 loco, being pumped vigorously by
short stroke lubricated pistons, thrusting you climatically along the East
Coast mainline. Mmmmm.
 I
digress, I said to our Maud "I'm struggling here love, not knowing much
about this Association Football"
and she mentioned a team called Manchester United and something about
a well to do pop star girl. So I went off down to the library, and would you
believe it, there is an absolute mountain of information to analyse on
Manchester United or Man U as they seem to be known.
(To maintain editorial control we vetoed mountains of Twattos figures
and chose the gem of mathematical genius below - ED)
Reading back through newspapers I discovered that David
Beckham, or Becks, has the most press coverage of any other Association
Footballer. On closer investigation I
also discovered that there is a distinct if unusual relationship, that defies
usual linear programming, between the amount of coverage Beckham gets and the
interval between changes to his hair style. See graph below.
As we can see there is an almost identical pattern in
time period and press coverage between each hairstyle. We can further exploit this relationship
to forecast when he will next change his hairstyle.
Using the equation
y=mx + c
(where m = Beckhams club and international appearances,
x = interval between hair restyles and c = tabloid interest over Posh gossip)
we can deduce that David Beckham will next have a hair
restyle in October this year.
Absolutely fascinating.
TWATTO is caravaning around Belgium in October. He
returns in December
NEXT UPDATE DECEMBER 2001
EMAIL: TWATTO If you
really must, he’ll be your friend for
life
©
Early Doors (2001/02) Ltd.
|
