PROGRAMME NOTES
Welcome to New
Early Doors, a phoenix from the flames incarnation for season 2001/02, hosted by new manager El Delgado. El Gordo has taken the season off to have
his cruciate finger ligaments mended after going in for one too many triple X
rated mouse clicks.
December Squad
Regulars
History
of the Name
The Caption Armband
< • The Dead Pool
<
Davey Jones’ Locker <
• Footy Links
<
The Dug
Out • Malice In Wonderland
<
Gets the Occasional Run Out
Twatto the Stat Man
• EDI
• 95th Minute
Agent Orange
<
• Going Down
One Game Wonders
Crystal Ball Investments
<
• Season Ticket
Off The Wall Football • Never Trust a
Hippy
White Boot
Amnesty <
< = Updated this month
The Guv’nor Speaks
With falling attendances I’ve had to pull the purse
strings in this month and unfortunately have not been allowed to sign any new
players. I did try to sign Jaap Stam
on a months loan but the nandrolone development got the board a tad nervy and
blocked the approach. Probably
because nandrolone isn’t classed as hallucinogenic.
Strike action has also affected this months edition. No
new signings and both History and The Dug Out will be manning the picket line
in December.
Hopefully if we can defeat our imperialist and
capitalist paymasters and strike a momentous victory for the oppressed and
impoverished footballers of our country we shall rise again, stronger and
more resolute next month (and obviously better paid).
¡Viva
la revolution!
Hasta la vista y felices Navidades.
El Delgado December 2001
The Squad in Detail
No. 1 History of the Name
Early
Doors crack team of genealogists trace the history of famous footballing
names.
No. 2 The Dead Pool
Retained
from last season, we name the most
likely managers for the chop in the Nationwide. Last seasons P45ers are here
and in October this seasons Dead Pool is revealed.
No. 3 Going Down
Also
retained from last season. A likely relegation DNA model is listed for now,
then in December this seasons Early Doors downers are named.
No. 4 EDI (The Early Doors Interactive)
A new predictions
league among other things. To be
developed throughout the season.
No. 5 Davey Jones’ Locker
Following
on from last seasons support for FFG McGhee.
New Early Doors hopes to breath life into DJ’s first full season in
charge at perennial sleeping giants, Wolves, who many are tipping for play
off glory! (Stockport & Southampton fans are anyway)
No. 6 Off the Wall Football
Still
can’t beat last seasons “Record Red Card”.
Hope to introduce him back in to the side as soon as possible.
No. 7 Twatto the Stat Man
Our
resident anorak with the abacus provides a geeks eye view of the numbers
game.
No. 8 Crystal Ball Investments
Where
the Early Doors quids and pennies are being punted at the start of the
season.
No. 9 Agent
Orange
Undercover reports from the corporate battle
ground of modern football.
No.10 The
Caption Armband
Monthly
caption competition, no prizes it’s
just for fun, like.
No.11 Footy Links
The
good, the bad and the Temuri Ketsbaia of Planet Footballs web links.
Submitted to, or included by New Early Doors.
No.12 95th Minute
Breaking news from Planet
Football.
No.13 Never Trust a Hippy
The final Division One
standings for this season, as predicted by a load of smelly old hippies.
No.14 Season Ticket
Get yerself an Early Doors
Season Ticket and never miss a game.
No.15 The Dug Out
Learn the art of guv’noring at
the virtual academy of management.
No.16 White Boot Amnesty
Early Doors’ campaign to rid
the game of white boots once and for all.
No.17 Malice In Wonderland
Early Doors takes a peak
upstairs at the wonderful world of Premiership football.
Hope you enjoy, remember to
shout abuse at the ref, wind up the dodgy left back and to spill your Bovril
over the old bastard in front who keeps mumbling on about the glory days of
the 50’s.
EMAIL: NEW EARLY DOORS But
only if you want to, like.
©
Early Doors (2001/02) Ltd.
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