 DAVEY JONES’ LOCKER
Last season Early Doors followed the progress of
frustrated football genius Mark McGhee in his first season in charge at
Millwall. As it turned out he did rather well, so for this season with the
hope of giving someone else the kiss of success, Early Doors will follow the progress of one David Jones in his
first full season in charge of perennial sleeping giants Wolverhampton
Wanderers.
Expectations • Pre-season
verdict
Aug • Sep • Oct • Nov • Dec • Jan • Feb • Mar • May
End of season verdict
Oh Mr Jones, Mr Jones
Last season Jones took over from Clown Lee and immediately
delved into Chapter 1 of FFG McGhees “Management For Winners” and promised to
"make the play offs". As it was he ground out a series of dull,
dull draws, lost easy ones and won very few.
A 3-1 win against arch rivals and play off losers WBA was enough to
seal his fate as a future club legend amongst the fickle terrace
faithful. Me, I wanted Harry Bassett. Oh well,
there's always January '02 to wait for.
August 2001
Wolves 2 – Pompey 2
Groan, sigh, moan, but hey at least it didn’t start with
a loss and we did score goals and came from 2-0 down and the new bloke(s)
scored and hey it could be our season after all. On the transfer news front, Carlton Palmer hadn’t been over
looked after all.
Coventry 0 – Wolves 1
Wu-huh. We send Coventry to…. Coventry. DJ is now
unbeaten away. Arch enemy ex-Baggie
Hughes didn’t get his self predicted hat trick. DJ says “it’s too early to go to the play offs quotes chapter
of FFG’s book”. No movement on the
Carton Palmer move, yet. At this point we’d like to
say that Strachan will be in this seasons Dead Pool just in case he’s gone
before we upload in October.
Wolves 1 –
Swindon 2
Doh! The Worthless, Swindon again, Swindon every bloody
year! Doh! And Swindon win every bloody year. 1 nil up 2 –1 down. Lets concentrate on the league, eh?. The
Palmer Saga slows but a rumour that “ex-Wolves man Akinbiyi will play for
Wolves on Saturday” is on a Leicester site.
Wolves 1 –
Watford 0
A lightning raid north of the border snares Hearts
midfielder Colin Cameron for a fair sized wodge and in all probability ends
The Palmer Saga. An own goal by Vega
enough to seal the points after another impotent striking display. Akinbiyi didn’t show, a rumour about some
bloke called Viagra is doing the rounds.
Sheffield Utd 2 – Wolves
2
In the interest of symmetry DJ’s Wolves serve up
another from behind draw. So far we have two 2-2’s and two 1-0’s. The Belgian
bags his second goal which is encouraging. Not so encouraging, the rumours of
Paul “the old guv’nor” Ince coming and Lescott being cashed in. If it’s to
pay for Ince’s wages I’d have to say Oi! Jonesy No! [Back to top]
September
2001
Internationals kill off the first September Saturday.
Not so at transfer rumour central. The Palmer Saga is definitely over, he
resigns for Wednesday, Ince move cools (sighs of relief all round), Akinbiyi
is back on, as is PNE summer target Macken, makes sense he’s been crocked for
the last six weeks. In the mean time, Dinning leaves for Wigan and Kenny
Miller joins on loan from Rangers further fuelling speculation that someone
on the Wolves staff has a bit on the side north of the border.
Preston 1 v Wolves 2
Unbeaten in the league. DJ’s boys come from behind
again! Must be the new doggy style
formation (or the fear of God DJ had to put into ‘em at half time). Old man
Sinton equalises and the boy Lescott adds a couple of hundred K to his name
with the winning goal. Macken speculation hots up as does his price.
Wolves 2 v Stockport 2
DJ’ boys do it doggy again for the 3rd 2-2
of the campaign. Cameron missed a penalty in the first half but an own goal
by Jones and on from debutant stealth signing Nathan Blake made it 2-2.
Sunderlands 32 year old Alex Rae is latest official rumour, having agreed
terms on Friday! Akinbiyi and Macken speculation refuses to die down.
Early Doors was on
holiday for the following 4 fixtures, which by the looks of 4 out of 4 and 1st
position we must do more often, (they were played over 2 weeks just in case you
were thinking ED is well minted).
Gillingham 2 v Wolves 3
The boy Miller gets his first goal and DJ’s side
survive a nostalgic shaky last 10 mins (as in, it’s always a nervy last 10
mins when Wolves are winning).
Walsall 0 v Wolves 3
Alex Rae makes his debut in the last 3 mins of a dire 2nd
half. DJ’s men failing to capitalise on a 3-0 half time lead. Miller is
stretchered off, yet another victim of the “new signing injury jinx”.
Wolves 1 v Forest 0
Prior to the game Ketsbaia is put on the transfer list
after one sulk too many. Millers bad
injury may open up further striker speculation as he’ll be out for the rest
of his loan period. Newton got his 4th
in a hardly memorable 1-0 win.
Rotherham 0 v Wolves 3
Cameron scores his first and sets up the other 2. Rae
scores his first Wolves goal too. All in all a good performance to round off
a fine 16 from 18 pointed September, although a very poor September for
transfer speculation.
[Back
to top]
October
2001
Wolves v Barnsley
Postponed due to International call ups
Bradford 0 v Wolves 3
At last! Proudlock breaks his duck with a hatty, as
DJ’s boys rack up the third consecutive 3-0 away win. Wolves stay top with a
game in hand. Jonesy writes himself a
“bad run” get out clause by saying that he may consider the Everton job if it
comes up. Transfer wise a tad quiet
although the Wolves staffer with a bit on the side up Scotland way brings
back a Kilmarnock youngster for a goal keeping trial.
Wolves 0 v Crewe 1
Doh! It had to happen sometime and 7/1 to win Crewe won
in this mid week tussle. A blistering Wolves start provided a host of missed
chances with the woodwork being rattled several times. But Crewe settled and
ground out a DJ’esque “one niller”. Palace’s win at Bradford sets up a nervy
top of the table clash for Saturday.
Wolves 0 v Palace 1
Altitude sickness sets in. DJ’s boys slip to second and
the doom merchants step into overdrive, Cameron was the pick of a sorry bunch
as ex- Wolf Freedman set up the winner. “We didn’t take our chances” says DJ.
No Shit!
WBA 1 v Wolves 1
The big one, turns into the big bore. DJ’s boys
squandering a Blake goal lead and weathering a blue and white stripped storm
in the second half. But it’s a point and puts Wolves back at the top, for
now. The injured Miller is subject to extended loan term talks, DJ obviously
not wanting to send him back still injured.
Wolves 3 v Burnley 0
That’s better back to the top. The Scots in midfield
build on an own goal start to make it 3-0 before half time but fail to build
on it in the second half. DJ opting for safety first which made for the as
per usual nervy moments in the second 45 minutes of the game. Akinbiyi on
loan (get well soon Miller) and James Beattie set to take a huge pay cut are
the pick of the transfer rumours.
Wolves 1 v Millwall 0
The return of FFG McGhee, on Halloween, with sarf
lahndans scariest! They certainly gave DJ’s boys a few scares too, but Alky
Rae popped up in the 90th to exorcise the ghost of McGhee and thus
ending a wobbly month with 3 points. With Palace losing and Coventry drawing
Wolves start November 3 points clear at the top.
[Back
to top]
November
2001
Norwich 2 v Wolves 0
A severe bout of altitude sickness causes the most
inept Wolves performance of the season and loses their unbeaten away record
(Swindon in the Worthless excepted).
Ex-Wolves man Ugly Roberts opened for the Canaries in a game dominated
by Yellow shirts. All Wolves could manage in reply was several of Sintons
accurate advertising board strikes. On the plus side Wolves are still top by
2 and loan target Ade “Worst striker in the Premiership” Akinbiyi got one for
Leicester.
Wolves 0 v Sheff Wed 0
DJ was fuming at his impotent side after this abysmal
90 mins. Not as much as I was, after enduring a seven hour round trip from
the bowels of Eastern Most Anglian, luke warm half time Bovril and they had
run out of fish scrapings at the pre-match chippy. Bright note Akinbiyi is
staying at Leicester.
Wimbledon 0 v Wolves 1
A disappointing November begins to peter out with
another away win of the DJ kind. Poor
performance against mediocre opposition yet the 3 points were sealed by yet
another stealth signing, albeit on loan, in the last 10 mins of the game.
Step forward Dean Sturridge, who had to make way for Akinbiyi in the Leicester
side. This doesn’t boad well, but at
least he got the points.
Wolves 4 v Barnsley 1
Wuh-hoo, step forward again Dean Sturridge. Studger
gets a hat trick in a rare exhibition of quality football. At Molinuex. By Wolves! OK, so it was only Barnsley and they went down to 10
men, but it was enough to end the month on a high note and regain top
spot. DJ reckons he’s found his man and
opens up talks for a permanent signing.
Newton got the other goal to become top scorer so far this season with
5!
[Back
to top]
December
2001
Wolves v WBA
To strike or not to strike?
Grimsby v Wolves
Man City v Wolves
Wolves v Birmingham
Watford v Wolves
Wolves v Preston
Wolves v Sheff Utd
[Back
to top]
Pre-Season Expectations (Late July ’01)
Gone are the close season days when a Turner, Taylor or
McGhee would be breaking the clubs transfer record with each ageing 30 year
old signing. DJ has taken a different approach and gone for the
"I'd break the club record if only I had the money, but I haven't cos
Sir Jacks gone all tight and miserly in his old age and I can offer what I
damn well like" and made varying big money offers for Matt LeTissier, Lee Hughes (why?), a
host of continentals (I think the board should have realised by
now that the only JF that ever fit into the Wolverhampton way of life are
Dutchmen), Tim Sherwood, Stan Collymore (Oh my god, then I realised that Real Oviedo wanted
£7million if our Stan was ever to play again, phew that was close) and many
many more. How he forgot to bid for
Darren Anderton, Gazza and Carlton Palmer I have no idea. Out goes Neil
Emblen to Norwich and errrr, well you can consult the official website if
you're that interested. [Back to top]
Pre-Season Verdict (Post friendlies pre-season August ’01)
Better than Clown Lee but we’d be ecstatically
surprised if Wolves were to make the play offs, then again, it ain’t over
‘til the fat bloke in row F renews his season ticket. [Back to top]
End of Season Verdict
Lets all meet up in May 2002 and see if the fat bloke
in row F renewed his season ticket.
UPDATED MONTHLY
EMAIL: DAVEY JONES’ LOCKER To
throw in your towel
©
Early Doors (2001/02) Ltd.
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