 HISTORY OF THE NAME
Early Doors sends it’s team of crack genealogists out
into the football wilderness to trace the origins of famous footballing
names.
STRIKE ACTION – NO UPDATE THIS
MONTH
No.4
Arsenal Football Club
This month the origins behind the rudest name of a club
in England.
The founder of the Highbury club suffered from Tourets
(spelling?) Syndrome and a shocked clerk at the Highbury Registry Office -
Births, Deaths & Football Clubs had written down Arse Football Club still
not quite believing his ears. A year later at a hearing called by the
Football League (Southern Division) the name was deemed too rude for
Victorian ears and a change was ordered.
While pondering what to do some wag was joking about
hearing the scores in the future on Saturday afternoon radio "Tottenham
One Arse Nil", the height of victorian football humour no doubt
(Arse were yet to score in the Football League). Arsenil FC it became,
after High Feckingbury FC and Arse Arse Feck FC were denied a registration
hearing. The name Arsenil carried the caveat that it could be changed to
Arsenal once they had scored their first league goal.
The Fat Back Four
The reason for not scoring a single goal yet was due to
the employment of a Fat Back Four system of defending. Opposing attackers
would ghost past the bulky defenders and then wait for the ball over the top
knowing that the Fat Back Four could neither jump or would be able to catch
them. This was all before any attempts at an Offside Rule.
To try and combat this the manager changed his sides formation to a Fat Back
Five but to no avail. It was when he tried the Fat Back Eight that
Arsenil earned their "Boring, Boring" reputation. The chant
starting with their own fans, fed up of not seeing a single Arsenil goal in
two years. Opposing fans getting stuck on "10 nil to the visitors",
as that was as far as they could count.
In an early attempt at modernising training methods the
manager turned to dieticians and personal trainers in an attempt to speed his
defenders up and the following season revealed his new Flat Back Four,
marshalled in the centre by spritely youth trainees Adams and Dixon. It
still didn't work, still no goals.
One Nil to the Arsenal
Help was just around the corner. The introduction
of the Leftside Rightside Rule the following season, the foundation stone of
the modern Offside Rule, meant that the days of the goal hanger were over.
Arsenil became Arsenal after a 1-0 win at home to long ball exponents
Watford, who hadn't quite come to terms with the rule change. Arsenal went on
to win a further 17 matches 1-0 that season. A trip to Highbury was no
longer 2 easy points.
UPDATED MONTHLY
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©
Early Doors (2001/02) Ltd.
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