WHAT a performance!  Or more correctly, what superb performances! 

The whole cast in the Riverside Drama Company’s latest production Noises Off by Michael Frayn were excellent.  This fast moving farce was presented last week at the Duchess Theatre. 

The curtains opened to a beautiful set that fully deserved the round of applause it received.  Dotty Ottley, a charlady, played by Liz Turner, enters with a plate of sardines.  After this play no-one will ever feel the same about sardines again.  They got everywhere, one could almost smell ‘em.  After her first few lines, Dotty seemed to mess up and the audience began to feel a little uneasy, they soon relaxed when the director Lloyd Dallas, played by Brian Hooker, yelled as he came down from the back of the theatre, ‘you answer the phone, then take the sardines and newspaper off.  For goodness sake, we open in a few hours.’ 

We were of course, witnessing a dress rehearsal. 

With Dotty off, Garry Lejeune, an estate agent, played by Martin Holtom, surely his funniest role ever, enters with Brooke Ashton, a tax inspector, and girlfriend.  This part was played by the delectable Elizabeth O’Hara, who, considering her role in the play in rehearsal, Nothing On, is mostly in a state of undress. 

Things get rather confusing when lines are forgotten, caused by props being in the wrong place.  Needless to say, the assistant stage manager gets all the blame, she creeps on stage saying it won’t happen again.  Pam Chamberlain as Poppy Norton-Taylor was superbly cast in this part.  The lovely Belinda Blair, seems to have a calming effect on the cast, to her they’re all sweet.  This part was played by Janet Bradbery.  Her husband Frederick Fellows, played by John Lomas, owns the house, but poor old Fred at the drop of a hat has a nose bleed. 

More trouble, as Tim Allgood, the stage manager, played by Paul Norris saunters on saying he can’t find Selsdon Mowbray, who’s playing the burglar, a great part played by Keith Coxon.  Lloyd says Tim will have to stand in until he’s found.  Selsdon eventually wanders from the back of the theatre stands in front of the stage saying When do I come on?  Lost tempers and confusion reign as the curtains close. 

After the interval, the set has been changed to back stage where the actors and crew are seen in their true colours, back biting, bitching and a near punch up, especially when it’s revealed that Poppy and Brooke are both having an affair with Lloyd.  Dotty is refusing to go on, Belinda comes to her aid, and much soothed, goes on.  Lots more hilarious nastiness and the curtains close for another short interval, as the set is changed back again. 

There seems to be a lot more uncertainty between Poppy and Tim as to how many minutes are left before curtain up.  But it’s overture and beginners please, as the curtains open for the last leg of the tour and the cast, who are getting a bit board with Nothing On, are fed up with Selsdon always missing until the last minute, Dotty again what she’s supposed to do with the sardines and takes the phone off instead, stretches the cord until it breaks.  Garry and Brooke enter too soon, as do Belinda and Frederick, props are all over the place, lines are mixed up and a cue is given in the wrong place and for once, Selsdon, on time, gets it right.  In her comes through the window, followed by Tim and Lloyd who just wanted to be on the safe side, all said their lines in unison, poor Frederick has umpteen nose bleeds and the last performance is absolute chaos. 

In reality, it was a perfect show hilarious from the start.  As the audience were leaving, someone was heard to remark that it was a bit like Les Dawson’s piano playing, he knew exactly what he was doing, an so did this great cast. 

Well done. 

The director was Pat Tuffin ably assisted by Moya Magee. 

By June Barker.