THERE'S just one word to describe the Riverside Drama Company's latest production. Brilliant! 

It was just that right from the start, applause, well deserved, seemed to come at every other line. All this took place last week at St John's Church Hall, Long Eaton, where they presented.... wait for it.... The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Towns Womens Guild Dramatic Society, by David McGillivray and Walter Zirlin Jr.

The curtains were open when the audience arrived and were soon involved with a meeting of the TWG. The chair lady Mrs Phoebe Reece (an Anne Robinson look-a-like and just as scary) during her speech, was trying to control her members who were dashing around in panic and urgency, they were about to present their play, Murder at Checkmate Manor. 

It would be unfair to pick anyone out for special mention, because all five members of the cast were simply superb in their roles. Mrs Phobe Reece, played by Liz Turner, Thelma, by Janet Bradbury, Audrey, Pat Clarke, Felicity, Liz O'Hara and the only man, Gordon, by John Lomas. It was amazing, that during the 'play' the cast doubled up to fifteen. It was obvious that things weren't going to go as planned when a bit of the scenery fell down, as it was being put back, it accidentally got turned round, and on the back was painted "Property of the Arcade Players." This caused a lot of hilarity, as quite a number of the players were there. 

Audrey wandered onto the stage, sat on a throne-like chair and calmly drank her coffee, when a voice backstage whispered 'We've started.' From then on, it was chaos, lines were 'forgotten' huge chunks of dialogue came out at the wrong time and so mucked up the cue lines, which had to be repeated, infact, any amateur dramatic member will know how true this can be. 

There were so many dialects, all delivered perfectly. Felicity, as Pawn, the butler had a west country one which grew stronger as the play progressed, she also doubled as Col King, accent changing to fwightuly Bwitish, she also had a tash, which frequently came unstuck. Sound effects were a bit off too, such as cars that wouldn't stop or crashed at the wrong time. Great. 

A murder had taken place, and Gordon, a police inspector had come to solve the case, immediately falls in love with the daughter of the house, Thelma, a flaxen haired beauty, always dressed for tennis, trouble was, she kept whacking her balls into the audience, more were thrown on, and soon the stage was full of balls, then it snowed. 

There were so many sisters arriving at the manor to hear the reading of their father's will, by Mr Goodbody, solicitor, a Scottish archeologist, two elderly sisters from Yorkshire who began and ended every sentence with 'Eee' the Col's wife, an equestrian dressed to kill, in riding gear and a Hollywood actress. But they were all bumped off before the reading of the will. 

Thelma and Gordon, alone at last, were kissing, when music from The Boyfriend wafted through and they began miming to, I Could be Happy, only they kept getting out of sinc with the words. Fantastic. It just went on getting hilariously worse, poor old Pawn was expected to remove the bodies that were lying around, but couldn't lift them, so they got up and crawled off stage. 

By the time the play finished the audience must have had aching ribs. But who dun it? It wasn't the butler. It was the French maid Regine, who, having been caught, shot herself in the head and clutched her stomach. 

It didn't stop there, when the curtains opened for the fab five to take thier bow they were caught fighting for centre stage position. terrific. 

Director Pat Tuffin, assisted by Joanna East, should be immensely proud of this production. 

By June Barker.