WHEN THE GOOD LORD GAVE OUT FACES TO THE DOGS LONG LONG AGO, HE FOUND, WHEN HE HAD ISSUED THEM THERE WAS STILL ONE DOG TO GO - "WHERE'S THIS DOG'S FACE?" HE CALLED ALOUD, "I KNOW I MUST HAVE MADE IT. THERE MUST BE SOMEONE HEREABOUTS WHO'S CLUMSILY MISLAID IT." A SHY YOUNG ANGEL THEN STEPPED UP, "FORGIVE ME, LORD," HE SAID. HE STUTTERED AND HE STAMMERED AND HE TURNED A LITTLE RED - "I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS A FACE - IT FELL OUT OF YOUR BAG. SO I THOUGHT YOU HAD DISCARDED IT AS JUST A PIECE OF RAG. - "SO I PROMPTLY WENT AND USED IT FOR SO VERY MANY THINGS, LIKE POLISHING UP THE HALOS AND WAXING UP THE WINGS. "IT'S CREASED AND CRUMPLED AS YOU SEE - IN TRUTH IT'S A DISGRACE... I DON'T KNOW HOW MY DEAREST LORD, YOU CAN USE IT FOR A FACE. "I REALISE IT'S ALL MY FAULT, AND THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME, I TRUST YOU CAN FORGIVE ME LORD, MY HEART'S SO FULL OF SHAME". "OF COURSE I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU, BUT HERE WE'VE GOT A MESS, SO I'LL MAKE AMENDS TO THIS POOR DOG, AND HIM I'LL TRULY BLESS. HE'LL BE CALLED A 'BRITISH BULLDOG' THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY PLACE WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE SO SILLY AS TO LOVE AN UGLY FACE. BUT HE'LL BE KIND AND GENTLE AND OF COURAGE HE'LL BE FULL - AS WELL AS LOVE AND LOYALTY - THE UGLY, LOVELY BULL." AND THAT IS HOW, MY CHILDREN, IN THAT LONG-GONE YEAR OF GRACE - THE DEAR OLD BRITISH BULLDOG GOT HIS LOVELY, UGLY FACE..