Goodshpeed, Godshpeed, Godshpell

USA 2000

 

Trip Dates: 16th to 29th May

Flight: Heathrow to San Francisco, £350, 11hrs/9hrs retn

£1=£$1.50

Team Members: Lee, Gary, Steph, Garf, Marco Mick Posner (part time)

 

“Just one more gin and tonic” said Marco, 10hrs into the flight Garf agreed, but soon had to spend some time with his head over the airplane’s toilet bowl. After 1.5l of G&T miniatures, the 747s supplies were running very low at the end of the flight.

We had little trouble collecting our 4 boats (as at Heathrow) picked up our “Mercury Moutineer 4WD” to be our home for the next 2 weeks ($900 hire). Steph drove us on our first leg with horrendous hangovers to Coloma for the next mornings warm up on the Chilli-bar (South fork of the American River). Of course now in California, we had to breakfast as the Americans do. The immense feast caused us to feel very sick and out of breath once on the river and is my primary excuse for my donkey grade 3 swim.

 

As well as normal campsites, the Americans have “primitive campsites” which have a minimum of a parking area and toilet (similar to NZ).

 

After paddling the North Fork, we stopped at the REI outdoor shop to buy the shop’s supply of thermorests. We then drove through down town Sacremento where Marco probably lost his spray deck due to leaving it on the truck’s roof at REI to dry Marco made his best on the trip to make up for the missing Bateson.

Lee and I spotted some nice chicks in the truck next to us in the traffic. Thinking that we had to act as ambassadors for our country, we started to wave and be sociable. The hidden boyfriends in the back of the car revealed themselves by winding down their tinted window and didn’t look very impressed. Remembering that there’s more guns than people in America we quickly turned off to find the freeway and our route up to Oregon.

 

During the long drive, we explored our vehicles cruise controls and electric seat. Paddled the North Umpqua near Winchester en route which had lots of  good play spots including an excellent wave that the four of us could surf together.

 

We drove to Micks house in Portland, drank his beer and ate his food. Micks house was very clean and tidy (before we arrived), we think he’ll make someone a good wife one day. Mick has a cool truck which seats 6 and you can put boats in the back.

Together, we paddle the Clackamas Gd III+ and played in a stopper called “Bob’s Hole” which provided excellent puns such as “Bob’s hole is fun to play in, but there’s a load of shit below it you don’t want to get stuffed in”

The Americans we bumped into laughed at our boats, to them, the Kendo is old hat and they don’t recognise the Toppos at all.

 

American TV is crap, one morning they had a 10 minute advert on a beauty product called “Nads”... “Pamper yourself with Nads” they said (whatever that means).

I took a day off paddling and went into Portland with Steph. We accidentally turned up in a rough part of town and shat our pants mingling with vagrants, cripples and all sorts of potential muggers till we managed to escape to the shopping areas.

 

Monday 22nd was Lee’s Birthday, Mick insisted on going in to work as he was trying to move in on a girl in the office (sadly he got blown out). We paddled the West Fork of the hood River, but got on far too early and had to do a massive grade V portage around a gorge blocked by a fallen tree.

 

There’s lots of beautiful wildlife to be seen, in the states, we saw birds of all sorts of different colours, giant butterflies that land on your paddles as you bob down the rivers, loads of eagles, squirrels, big ratty creatures and even a deer (but no wild beavers).

In the evening we went out for pizza and beers ending with a drunken rampage home playing “shove ‘em in the hedge”. Steph showed her true vandalistic colours stealing and releasing the estate advertisers balloons.

 

The next day turned out to be the most epic day. The keen paddlers in the group wanted to mark up a high grade river for the trip log book and chose the grade IV (V) section on the Farmlands section of the White Salmon river over the border in Washington state.

 

The river was running quite high and after several sections including the awesome “Sidewinder” (me and Mick portaged), we found ourselves slowed down and inspecting drops as we ran the first few stages of the gorge. I was quite surprised at how the mood had suddenly changed for the first time during the trip. The others looked quite petrified. I felt quite accustomed to years of being in danger of my life and was probably the most calm – but I shouldn’t have been. As we rounded the next corner, I found myself looking straight into the mouth of Mr Fuck off big-bastard stopper,  with no hope of evasion, I went straight in and spun about in my boat for quite some time. I was spat out on pulling my deck for a very fast gorge swim. Thanks to Lee’s boating and Garf’s line throwing. The others then paddled a short distance before getting out and having a testing climb, only achievable due to an old fence cable that was dangling into the gorge. I don’t think I’ve ever been pleased to see Lees face before, but definitely was when I’d been waiting 2 hrs and eventually saw his face at the top of the cliff armed with a rope.

That night we camped out under the stars, re-told, epic tales and reflected on how happy were to be alive. We also wondered how Mike Leaford would take the news that the new club Kendo was lost.

 

Next day we spent some time looking for the boat, going to the police etc. The others paddled the lower section of the same river to see if they could see it but without any luck. We later returned to Portland to watch Mission Impossible II which had come out that day.

The next couple of days involved a lot of driving (we covered 3000 miles in 2 weeks). We paddled on the Rogue river on the way back and were unable to find a campsite during our journey. The friendly ranger woke us in the morning “here’s your early morning call folks – did you know you’re camped in a parking lot ?”. Next me and Gary had a water fight and a grumpy Ginger Tosser kicked me in the nads when he got squirted with some water.

 

Lee, Gary and Garf got on the North Fork Yubba at Siera city to have their last decent paddle. Garf got caught in a pour-over, swam and lost his paddles. He set off again armed with his splits, but humorously took another swim when his splits “split” and entered the next chewy drop with a paddle in each hand. They decided to call it a day after shooting 2 miles of the 13 mile section and waked out.

 

The paddling over, we transformed into tourists for the last 1 ½ days and looked forwards to our visit to Alcatraz Island and the streets of San Francisco. We had been quoting lines from the film “The Rock” all week such as “Welcome to the rock” and “Goodspeed, Godspeed, Godspell” with appalling Sean Connery impressions. We were very pissed off to find that all visits to the island were booked. We were also very pissed off to find that as it was memorial weekend, the town was extra busy and traffic slow and hot. We did get to see some of San Fran including Golden Gate bridge, Fisherman’s wharf and the very steep Lombard street where the others shat themselves incase we might roll back into the car behind.

 

The flight back involved far less alcohol as the lads counted the hours down on TBJ (you can work out what that means for yourselves).

 

 

River

Grade

Length (Miles)

Level (cfs)

 

 

 

 

S.F American - Chilli Bar

III

5.8

1500

N.F American - Chamberlain Falls

III+ (IV)

4.8

2 on gauge

Sacremento - Box Canyon

IV-/IV

7.5

~1000

North Umpqua - Bogus to Susan creeks

III

5

2910

Clackamas - 3 Lynx to Bob's Hole (Whey hey)

III(IV)

9

2700

White - Keeps Mill to Wamic

III(III+)

12

750

W F  Hood - 4 miles above white bridge park

III+(V+)

4

~1000

W.F. Hood - white bridge park to E.F. Hood

IV(V+)

6.5

~1000

White Salmon - Warner Rd o Green Truss

V(V+)

5

1500

White Salmon - BZ Corner to Husum

III+(V)

5

1500

Rogue - Nugget Falls to Gold Hill

IV-

2

3180

N.F. Yuba - Sierra City

IV+(V)

13

~1200

 

 

 

 

 

Levels and river information can be obtained from this website:

 

http://kayak.physics.orst.edu/~tpw/kayaking/display.cgi/Oregon.html