cap17

dave Brown

Nickname	Growler, GB
Batting Music	Peter, Paul, & Mary -If I had a Hammer
Best Position	On his mobile phone
Hair Rating	6/10 would have been an 8 except he uses cuprinol as gel
Which Auf Wiedersehen Pet Character?	Growler Brown was not considered for any of the characters from Auf Weidersehen Pet, as passing Growler off as a quality tradesman would be too far fetched
Batting Stats.	Bowling Stats

One of the founding members of the Jedi, Dave Growler Brown played a key part in theinception of this now famous cricket club. He cemented his place in the side at an early stage by stealing the kit bag from the Anglian Water side where he worked, and donating it to the Jedi.

Growler is a bit like Jason Bourne in that he goes by many aliases; He is known in some circles as Growler, the origin of which is unknown. However, conjecture around the dressing room has it that the pseudonym came about after Growler became very heated during a number of discussions concerning Michael Barrymore, who is, as everyone knows, a former idol of Growler’s (see earlier issue of The Corinthian.) To this day he can still be seen doing the funnywalk on the boundary, walking into bat, and sometimes can be heard greeting people with a familiar ‘Awight?’




		Dave found them all over his body

He is also like secret agent Bourne in that he disappeared for a whole season, and then turned up out of nowhere. At one point The Jedi were so concerned about him that they paid for a missing person ad on milk cartons across the country. The search was a huge success and Growler was found at B&Q in the skirting board section, with several sim cards embedded in his back and no recollection of the past year; we still don’t know which operator did this, but Growler thinks it’s O2 because they keep sending him junk mail. This we feel has led to Growler’s obsession with sim card collecting.

His favoured nom de plume on the cricket field is Jar Jar Binks, a name hewn out of one particular historic match at Stalingrad when Jar Jar became the new man-of-four, dropping four successive catches after attempting to both field and break the Guinness book of records for the most amount of texts sent during one innings of a twenty-twenty match. Indeed, Jar Jar performs a very important role for the Jedi during fielding in that he is in charge of communications; hencehe has to keep his mobile phone on him at all times. His one handed attempts at catching are monumental, as he tries in vain to stay in touch with cricketing events around the world, what he’s having for tea when he gets in and also what the latest quoted price for laminate flooring is on the world laminate flooring stock market.

Which brings us onto the real strength of Growler – his all rounder capabilities. Normal cricketing all rounders can boast a healthy 30 something average with the bat and still throw in a few decent overs here and there. Growler is an exception – he can paint a whole room in 20 minutes flat, dig foundations, open tins of paint with his teeth, dig big holes in the ground and put up coving and blinds – the man will even have a go at electrics. However he did cause some consternation in Nemo’s house whenUncle Daz observed the electrical work of Growler,



	Who did these electrics Nemo?’ ‘Growler.’ ‘Oh, that’s interesting… he’s done them different to how I would have done it.’ ‘Oh, in what way Uncle?’ ‘Well, he’s done them wrong.’



			Growler’s new light switch 2006

		But probably his greatest strength is his commitment to the cause. He has been known to shut down a whole sewerage plant early, including the pumping stations, to get to the Fortress in time. On one occasion this led to both flooding and a nasty break out of cholera in the Grimsby Road area, but which also provided Growler with a berth in the starting eleven (Growler said not to worry though, it would all be ‘awight.’) He has also been known to bat regardless of the protective attire available to him. At Tioxide, he famously strode out to the middle with no box, stating that ‘I’ve got boxers on and besides, I prefer using it as a chest plate, like Clint Eastwood did in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.’ It was pointed out to Growler that Clint employed a large chunk of iron in the movie and not a plastic cricket box, but, undeterred, Jar Jar raced into bat and was promptly hit in the square in the testicles. With good fortune, it didn’t matter anyway, as he had just had his cohonies chopped off in a recent divorce settlement. Growler batted on though, thus protecting his 2.2 batting average.

Flood victims in Grimsby Rd. July 2007

In terms of publicity though, Growler is the Beckham of the team – he just can’t stay out of the limelight:

Growler Drops Barrymore Bombshell - vol II issue 5

Growler ‘The Wall’ Brown - Man of Form -vol II issue 6

Growler Brown My Quest for Size Zero - vol II issue 7

more recently ‘My negative equity hell’ are just some of the headlines that have propelled Dave to the top of the PR league. Growler is a walking publicity machine: we salute him.