Gaybombay, the mailing list, (gb) was born with an aim of creating a safe space for queer people. For friends to realize their sexuality and to realize that they are not the only ones. For friends to share their lives, their experiences. For people to make friends without any pretentions, or hiding or guilt. A family away from the family, but this time, a family that they choose.

 With the introduction of Internet, a mailing list seemed to be the obvious choice. In no time the mailing list grew exponentially. The members to this list are from all fields of life and not only from Bombay but other places in India and abroad.

 A varied range of discussions take place, from marriages to coming out. Friendships are branded. Relationships bossom. Gaybombay felt that it needed to go from a mere internet existence to a more physical one. Every second sunday the group started meeting at a local fast food restaurant which acts more like a meeting point. We then proceed to friends accomodating homes. Here we introduce ourselves, talk about issues. Share things. To 
reach out to more people, we established a web presence in the form of www.gaybombay.com 

More and more people join in. The meets are well attended, the mailing list now has more than 1600 members, the visitors to the web site have been increasing. Events like movie-nights, parties, drag-parties, picnics, dance, potlucks are organized.

 Today, after a little over two years, gaybombay has come a long way. And is popular for its social-support, networking and for creating a space which is not necessarily sexual in nature. Gaybombay is not a political space, nor does it have any particular set agenda, besides, and which gaybombay feels, is of primary importance: that you come to terms with your exuality. Only then can we, as queer people, be proud of what we are, our lifestyle. Only then, can we, as queer people, deal with other relevant issues, such as social stigmas, homophobia, AIDS, and more importantly our legal right to love the person of our choice, be it male or female.  We need your help in achieving these goals. While you sit around with friends, enjoying the queer company, remember there is someone out there, who is deeply in the closet and could use a helping hand. And that hand, could be yours!

 So lets all come together and rejoice our lives, our sexuality, our existence without shame, guilt and helplessness. Lets be a voice which can heard, out, loud and with pride!

 Today, our goals, remain the same. Coming to terms with our own sexuality. Be yourself, be it high-camp, or absolute butch, without self-hate, without the pressure of adhereing to the norms set out by others for your self-acceptance. Be what you are, and be IT with pride. We have to come together and say, we are what we are. That we are setting new 
definitions of what we should be, or how we should be. In other words, we are standing up
 and saying, we do NOT accept your definition of "normal", normal is what "I" am.

 We do not want to train ourselves, to be "straigh acting", to fit in. We do not prescribe to definations of what normal is. We are what we are - individuals and unique. We do not want or need tolerance. All of this we can achieve, not alone, but together.

 When you walk out of a GB meet, think to yourself, how did the space of gaybombay empower you? Did it make any difference to you before you came and now? Did it even make you think a little bit, that being denied your right to live freely as you choose, is wrong and that you would like to enjoy this right? Did it make you realize that there is a difference between being a homosexual and being gay?!

 Thank you for taking the first step!

 What happens at Gay Bombay meets:

 We meet up at local restaurants. Its mostly in Bandra area, but every few months it keeps shifting. From there we go to the hosts place. (GB doesnt have a place of its own. We rely largely on the kindness of its various members who offer us their space.)

 When we go to the hosts place, we introduce ourselves. The general format has been: 
 My name is: (the name that you would like to be called)
 I am: (A short brief about who you are or the work you do)

 This is now going to be added:

 I am here because: (the reason you felt you have come for the meet)

 The answer for this one could be something like:

 I am here because, I wanted to meet other gay people.
 I am here because, I want support in coming out.
 I am here because, I want to make friends.
 I am here because, I am curious.
 I am here because, the sun rises from the east and sets in the west.
 I am here because, I like the color of Vikram's shirt.
 I am here because, I can contribute and want to make a difference.
 I am here because, I am here.
 I am here because, I have a few things in my mind, which i need to discuss.

 [This is being added so that, we can offer support if you need it.This was missing in the previous thing. If you share things about yourself to a group of people, you feel closer and friendly].

 After the rounds of introductions are over, we talk about general issues. Or plan things like events. If anyone wants to talk about specific issues they can bring it up and all of us converse.

 How does one behave at Gaybombay Meets:

 We have to at all times, respect the space provided by the hosts. We try and arrange for soft drinks or light snacks. Since it is more about getting to know each other, nteractions are strongly encouraged. Sometimes we listen to music, dance and generally chill out. Its strictly non-sexual. But hey, after all its a group of guys. If anyone flirts, which is possible, as its a part of any community, please dont be shocked. However, strong sexual advances are discouraged. If anyone's behaviour is putting you under sexual pressure, please let anyone of the GB guys know. We will try and handle it as best as we can. You are free to interact with anyone you like. Giving of phone numbers and or addresses is entirely upto you and GB does not hold any responsibility for that. So its your choice.

Bombay, Portuguese, more or less, for "beautiful bay", is among other things India’s gay capital, just as Calcutta is the intellectual centre and Delhi its political heart

 
With just under a billion people in India, the figure of 1 in 10 men being gay means 50 million gay men . And with 15 million people in Bombay, there are by that reckoning three quarters of a million gay men there. Reckoning half to be adults still gives a figure of around almost 400,000 or the popluation of a large British city

 
Bombay has the most vibrant gay "scene" in India. But its not just the large gay population that makes the city what it is . Multicultural, cosmopolitan, the centre of industry and trade, the location of the huge film industry, wealthy, tolerant and vibrant, Bombay provides a hospitable environment for gays of local origin and, like London, Bombay is also a magnet for gays from all over the country. 

Most gays in India remain, in Western terms, deeply closeted. (This will not be a puzzlement to visitors from Islamic countries, but it does need to be stated plainly, since the highly cosmopolitan and free-wheeling urban lifestyle can confuse visitors from other societies.)

The tradition of arranged marriages means that most Indian gay guys have wives and children. For the most part this is non-negotiable ; for that matter, few  would want it otherwise.  But this can be confusing for Westerners  Gay visitors from Western countries will naturally assume that the relatively liberal social mores and public manners indicate that it is proper—and safe—to behave in public as they might expect to do in a very liberal Western city. This could cause embarrassment or worse. Overt displays are out (other than handholding, which is quite all right, though Bombay-ites are sophisticated enough to be aware that Western males who do it are probably gay). 

You won’t find gay bars, bath houses, and other exclusively gay establishments. Gay events are specially scheduled from time to time, though. Talk to local gays about what is coming up and how to get there.  Bombay is astonishingly cosmopolitan. The Gaysia web site contains some information on local contact and the Links page has details of web sites for Bombay

Sunset on Juhu Beach

The Indian subcontinent contains communities from the earliest pre-historic cultures of mankind through the most advanced and sophisticated civilisations on earth.  There are intact remnants in India — particularly in the Andaman Islands, but with genetic remnants throughout South India — of the Melanesian race and cultures now most fully extant in the South Pacific In the South of India the ancient and vibrant Dravidian race and cultures are alive and well in their hundreds of millions. In the foothills of the Himalayas the East Asian Asiatic race and cultures are amply represented. In the North of India the "Caucasian" race of central Asia, Europe and, more recently, the Americas and Australasia, is present in force supplemented, amplified, complemented and intermingled with the ancient Dravidian race of Southern India. 

The result? Apart from the absence of a South Saharan African component, India is a microcosm of the entire human species. Everything that is aesthetically, culturally, and otherwise desirable in the human male is fully represented among Indians. You like "European" types? Charcoal-blacks? Soft cuddly, warm and furry teddy bears? Lean, mean mesomorphs? Smooth asiatics? The long lean type? The short, muscular type? India has them all. And whatever you are, there is bound to be someone in Bombay who finds you your physical, cultural, or intellectual their cup of cha.

As far as language is concerned, Bombay is the metropole of the Indian "state" of Maharashtra. It’s native language is, of course, the the most predominant tongue of Bombay.  Marathi, the native tongue of Maharashtra, is predominant. Gujarati and other regional languages are widely spoken.  But cosmopolitan languages are widely or univiversally understood. Hindi foremost. South Indians and international visitors will find that English will get them just about anywhere they want to go.  Urdu is very widely understood and Urdu speakers will find it fairly easy to get by in Hindi. 

Do’s and Don’ts for visitors from elsewhere in India and abroad .  Generally, anything goes, particularly with regard to matters of unique concern to gays.  If you are reasonably discreet and circumspect in ythe efforts to meet people, whether for purely social, romantic or purely sexual involvements, you should run into no difficulty at all.  But, Bombay’s astonishing multiculturalism apart, it is also fundamentally Indian. San Francisco or London it ain’t. This can be more than a little confusing for visitors. 

If you are visiting Bombay and are of European, Asian or any other origin you will inevitably be confused by the mixed signals you receive. Male displays of affection are common and nothing interesting should be read into them.  Bear in mind that as everywhere else, sometimes cops get bored. And when there is nothing else for them to do, harassing gays, particularly at known crusing places, is a way of working out  their boredom. 

If you have recently visited Bombay from the UK, please write with your experiences. You don’t need to give a name. 

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The best place to cruise is the Marina Beach esp. the Gay Corridor near to the north of the Anna Swimming Pool after 7 pm. But please beware of police men and rowdies. 

During 92-94 Panagal Park in T.Nagar was a very good place to find gays. You can see all kind of gays, bi-sexuals there. But nowadays because of the police it lost its charm.

AnnaNagar Tower, Near AnnaNagar Round Tana & Nageshwara Rao Park, in Luz Church Road, Mylapore are mixed parks where lot of lovers, couples, families and some gays visit this place.  Gays are found in the darker places inside the parks. 

Theatres like Gaiety (Near Anna Statue, Mount Road) and Motcham Theatre (Purasaiwakkam) and Kalaivanar Arangam, in Wallajah Road, Triplicane, is also a pickup spot. Earlier the Blue Diamond theatre in the Saffire complex seems to be the pick of the theatres where 99% of the visitors are gays/bi's. Unfortunately it was closed. 

I have heard that the Electric Train is a very good pick-up place esp. the Vendors compartment but never been there. Please be aware that Cruising at these places are at your own risk. 

Have a nice time in Chennai.