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(New Delhi 2006) The eldest son and heir of one of India's princely families has been disowned after coming out publicly. Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil of Rajpipla quickly became the public face of the gay rights movement in Gujarat and is the patron of the region's biggest HIV/AIDS organization.

The prince learned that he had been stripped of his title, inheritance, and all rights in the newspaper. His family, one of the richest in India, this week placed an official announcement in local papers accusing him of disobedience and of bringing dishonor to the royal family. The announcement said that Prince Manvendra was involved in activities that are "unsuitable in society" and said that the family was severing all ties with him.

he had come out to his family in 2002. "However, they may not have expected that I would go public with the issue."

Earlier this year, he took the plunge, coming out to the public, becoming the first blue-blooded gay Indian. ''I came out as gay to a Gujarati daily because I wanted people to openly discuss homosexuality since it's a hidden affair with a lot of stigma attached,'' says Gohil, who is chairperson of Lakshya Trust, a Vadodara-based NGO working to check the spread of HIV/AIDS among the gay community in Gujarat.

His family would have none of it, though. It wasn't long before the prince was dispossessed - two days ago, two different notices in a leading vernacular daily in Vadodara put an end to his claim to the family property.

''Manvendra is not in control of his mother and involved in activities unacceptable to society,'' says one of the notices issued by his mother. ''Hence, he ceases to have rights as a son over the family property and the power of attorney issued to him also stands cancelled. Henceforth, no one must refer to my name as mother of Manvendra. If any individual or organisation dares to do so, it will invite contempt proceedings against him.'' 

Gohil's father Raghuvirsinh says, ''The power of attorney given to Manvendrasinh on December 19, 2002, about family properties in Gujarat and Maharashtra stands rejected. No one must deal with him about these properties.'' Raghuvirsinh's advocate, Pratap Singh Rathod based in Jodhpur, confirmed that he had issued the notices on behalf of his clients. Other than these two statements, Gohil's parents refused to comment further.

''They were afraid to even use the word gay. But I accept whatever my family has decided. I will abide by their decision in this matter and will not stake a claim on the property,'' says Gohil who is an only son. ''I have no regrets since I have found family in the community. Ashok Row Kavi is like my godmother. I will continue my activism and fight for my rights in India and wherever else I'm required to,'' says Gohil.

My first encounter was a disaster.  I had been to a gay bar hoping to pull but either the guys after me were not my type or the few I saw who I was attracted to were not interested so I left.  As I approached the station I passed a good looking Pakistani guy, he was standing against a wall  chatting to somebody.  I stared, he stared back, I continued to walk and when I looked back he was following me.  I reached the station and headed for the toilets, he continued to follow.  He went into a cubicle and left the door open, i went inside.  He was young, tall and good looking, he had a closely shaved beard.  As I entered he closed the door and we kissed.  I opened his shirt and kissed, licked and bit his beautiful hairy chest  We kissed for some time and his first words to me were "Shall we go to a hotel?" 

We went to a cheap place close to the station, I was embarrassed when we checked in.  It was obvious why we were there.  A young Asian guy perhaps 19 with a white guy of 30.  Once in the room we kissed and undressed.  Sex was not good, he lay there groaning and left me to do all the work.  He came in my hand and then cried.  I felt awful, it was a horrible experience.  I felt cheap  but was more upset because this guy was crying.  He left and I sat up all night feeling dreadful. 

My second Asian lover was a different story.  I went for a Pizza with my brother.  The waiter who turned out to be Bangladeshi gave me the eye from the start.  I went to the the toilet he followed.  Within 5 minutes we had snogged, felt each other up and arranged to meet.  For the next 12 months I would meet him after work and we would have wild sex in his car, in the park, at my brothers house (while he was at work), hotels and even on a train.

There then followed a chain of beautiful Asian men, in the park, in cottages, in sauna's, the man who runs my local newsagent, a 20 year old Pakistani who picked me up at the bus stop and became my lover, my neighbours brother who I spent an afternoon with having  mind blowing sex, a married work colleague who is still my lover.

Asian men are beautiful, I love the colour of their skin, the jet black hair, the body hair, their lips and the intensity of their love making.  It is wrong of me I know but I currently have a long term white partner but also my married Punjabi and my 20 year old (now 26) Pakistani lover none of them  know of each others existence and I am not prepared to give any of them up. 
Ed

For many, many years, churchman, moralists and parents have tried to scare the living daylights out of everyone by insisting that those who masturbate will a) go to hell or b) suffer all kinds of medical horrors or c) go mad.

Now it seems that they were all totally wrong.

Of course most of us knew this all along. As 99% of males do wank and 99% of males are not mad or suffering terrible medical problems, it's pretty obvious that parents and moralists told us a few porkies to keep our hands off our genitals.

Of course priests may still insist we will go to hell but if that is the case, Heaven will be deserted.

The news that wanking is not only harmless but could actually be beneficial comes in reports that those who don't wank may suffer a buildup of cancer causing chemicals in their prostate.

The prostate produces most of the fluid in semen and it is rich in potassium, zinc, fructose and citric acid. Wanking on a regular basis flushes out cancer triggering chemicals.

So the advice is carry on wanking especially if you are between 20 and 50

 The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people  who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay  away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.  Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. 

 Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are. Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, think how lucky you are and how we all have the the strength needed to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!! There's a miracle  called Friendship That dwells in the heart. You don't know how it happens  Or when it gets started But you know the special lift It always brings And  you realize that Friendship Is God's most precious gift! Friends are a  very rare jewel, indeed.

 They make you smile and encourage you to succeed They lend an ear, they  share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.

S London

 From the Frontiers Magazine - July 25, 2002 Issue

 Fighting for Acceptance

 Gay Muslims face unremitting opposition and some new challenges as they struggle for a place in Islam.

 By John Caldwell

 Some people still deny they exist. Others, aware of their mission, have censured them for even associating themselves with their own religious culture. And after terrorists slammed airplanes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon last year, their seemingly impossible crusade faced new challenges.

 In recent months, gay Muslims have seen simultaneous progress and retreat  as they mitigate ignorance with education and fight for their place in a  culture widely based on staunchly anti-gay religious law.

 Since its inception in 1998, Al-Fatiha, an international organization of  gay Muslims, has been described by many as something of a pariah. Its members coexist in two minority groups that have yet to reconcile each other while dealing with discrimination in the United States. Muslims who are openly  gay face not only a mainstream community that is hostile to both gays and Muslims, but also a religious culture that has recently become virulent in its opposition to homosexuality.

 "Our community doesn't understand sexuality," says Faisal Alam, the 25-year-old founder and director of Al-Fatiha. "I can't prove that homosexuality is accepted in Islam. But I can prove that the oppression of LGBT people is wrong. The challenge we are putting to the mainstream  community is to look at how you are treating your children."

 Alam's group formed after he contacted 150 Muslim-oriented Internet mailing lists in 1997. He was searching for something that at the time didn't  exist: support for gay Muslims. Within minutes of his first e-mail, he received several enthusiastic replies.

 So he started a listserv, and within in a year, organized a meeting of  about 40 LGBT Muslims in Massachusetts. Their conference was titled Al-Fatiha, a term for "the Beginning" in the Islamic Quran. "We really had an amazing experience," he remembers. 

 Now the organization has more than 700 members, with 10 chapters in three countries: the United States, Great Britain and Canada. Al-Fatiha's basic mission is to provide a forum to address issues of common concern and share experiences while helping gay Muslims to reconcile their sexual orientation or gender identity with Islam.

 Last May, the organization held its third international retreat, with some attendees hailing from Islamic countries, many of whom had found support on the group's Web site. In 2004, Al-Fatiha plans to hold its next retreat in Indonesia, the only predominantly Muslim nation seemingly safe enough for a conference of LGBT Muslims.

 Alam's own story is an illustration of the inherent difficulties found in  the gay-Muslim experience. Born in Germany to Pakistani parents, he moved to  the United States at age 10. Living in the Northeast, he grew up in a strict Muslim household. "All my life, I was taught homosexuality was wrong," he explains. "I never envisioned what a gay life would be like."

 People who grow up in the Muslim world--a culture based on community in  which individuality is highly discouraged--get married, end of story, Alam says.  So he decided to live a dual life, one in which he was ensconced in Islamic tradition during the day and secretly going to gay bars at night.

 But it didn't last. He had a mental breakdown that put him in the hospital for two weeks. At age 19, he decided to put the two sides of his life together and come out of the closet. His mother disowned him for six  months, and while she has since accepted him, she still rebukes his homosexuality.

 Upon discovering the absence of any kind of support system for people like himself, Alam decided to create a place for gay Muslims--to start a first-of-its-kind discussion about sexuality in Islam. The first big  hurdle: encouraging other gay Muslims to end their secrecy. "There has never been  an open conversation around the issue of sexuality," Alam says. "The most criticism we receive is from within the queer Muslim community. They really don't know what to do. They've worked so hard to separate these two identities."

 This threat of imperilment that causes many closeted gay Muslims to  distance themselves from Al-Fatiha was greatly enhanced by the terrorist attacks  last September. As the media clamored to report on the group in the post­Sept.  11 backlash against Arab-looking Americans, many gay Muslims who might  otherwise have joined Al-Fatiha, stayed away in favor of maintaining valued family  ties that could be jeopardized by a revelation of membership.

 "Al-Fatiha became like a star," says Faris Malik, the 36-year-old freelance translator who heads the organization's San Francisco chapter. "It was good for media exposure, but I don't think it was good for our membership. It  kind of scared some people back into the closet."

 Indeed, what was a promising chapter with increasing membership has  dwindled in recent months. No one showed up to the chapter's last meeting, Malik  says, and he attributes it to all the exposure. Instead of holding another  meeting, he plans to go to a local park in San Francisco with some friends and  display a Muslim-oriented gay pride flag in hopes of creating a dialogue with the Muslim community.

 In becoming a "star" in the post-attack media frenzy, Al-Fatiha also  learned something about sensationalism, engendered by gay and mainstream media  alike. "Everyone became an expert on Islam," Alam chides. He reserves particular disdain for the gay press, which not only jumped on the misinformation bandwagon, but perpetuated many disparaging rumors. Mohamed Atta, the
 reported leader of the hijackings, was accused of being gay in the gay  press, he says. A number of publications reported that the attacks were the result of sexual repression in Islamic nations, while generally connecting Islam  in many ways to terrorism. "Why is it that when David Koresh decided to burn down his compound [in Waco, Texas], it's not 'Christian fundamentalists,' it's a 'cult,' " Alam says. "But when Muslims do it, it's 'Muslim fundamentalists'?" 

 Moreover, gay Muslims have had to deal with a general climate of racism and hostility toward all Muslims following the attacks, Alam says. He has since carried his passport with him wherever he goes, despite being a U.S.  citizen. He's a brown person with a Muslim name, and that is enough to incite others to question him, he claims.

 Malik, too, has been wary of persecution, but sees an opportunity to  educate. "Immediately after Sept. 11, I thought it was an opportunity for queer Muslims to argue that fundamentalism was destroying [everyone]," he says. "Some of the people who were fiery in their rhetoric and homophobia should sort of take stock of their thinking."

 Just prior to the attacks, the escalated persecution of gay men in Egypt  and other strictly Islamic nations had a redefining effect on Al-Fatiha's mission. Instead of sticking with the myriad other religious groups whose only function is to reconcile homosexuality with religion, Al-Fatiha has
 become political. "In the past year, we've taken on a stance of advocacy," Alam says. "Because of the political environment in Egypt [and other countries], we felt a need to take a political stance."

 Malik's chapter demonstrated in front of the Egyptian consulate in San Francisco last August to protest the arrest of 52 men for allegedly having gay sex on a Nile riverboat. And Alam has been traveling the country  talking about gay Muslims and their worldwide struggles with homophobia. Both  shared interesting insights into the reasons for the persecution of gays in  Islamic countries and the roots of homophobia in Islam.

 In Egypt, Alam sees political maneuvering, not the preservation of  religious tradition, at work. "I don't think the motivation is religion at all," he argues, noting that political dissidents and Islamic fundamentalists also have been tried in much the same way as the 52 Egyptian men. "They're throwing a bone to the religious right. It's a great tool to get the media  to focus on something else, rather than how [Hosni] Mubarak is doing as president."

 In Saudi Arabia, three men were beheaded earlier this year for violating Islamic law by having gay sex. They use the law to execute all kinds of people, Alam says, but in the case of those three men, they failed to prove they did anything wrong and his organization took the Saudi overnment to task for it. And because religion is so intertwined in the government,  there are no secular institutions to stand up for these people, he says, in Saudi Arabia and elsewhere.

 The political persecution of gays and lesbians in Muslim nations is  actually a recent phenomenon, Malik adds. "There's an attempt to make up for a lack  of persecutions in the past." Arab nationalism that took hold 100 years ago brought with it new interpretations of the Quran that strictly forbid homosexuality, he says, "but no effort had really been made until now to prosecute homosexuality."

 Despite some Muslim nations with long-standing puritanical leanings, such  as Saudi Arabia, most, including Egypt, Indonesia and Turkey, which has a secular system, have plenty of men who live, albeit very closeted, gay  lives. "Homosexuality is more prevalent as a practice in those countries than it  is here," Malik claims. "I took a trip to Egypt and it was disapproved of, but it was more like [the disapproval of] smoking a joint [in America]."

 Like the gay Christians who have had to deal with a fundamentalist  religious backlash in America, gay Muslims are navigating through repression and persecution related to the political climate of their time. But just like those gay Christians, many of whom now enjoy acceptance by their churches, Muslims are optimistic that they, too, can facilitate change by working on  a grassroots level. "I think it's inevitable that Islam will find a place for gay people," Malik says. "God is on our side. The homophobia we see in  Islam now will be short-lived. Our way of thinking and accepting people has legs. By learning to understand homosexuality, Islam will fair better."

We are excited to ask for your contribution to our new website with resources for queers of colour and allies. There are few spaces left for race/ethnicity and sexuality to be discussed together, and funders often believe it’s enough to support projects on either race/ethnicity or sexuality. Since the eighties with their intense activisms around racism, homophobia and other oppressions, queer of colour structures have been hard hit by cutbacks, backlashes and burnouts. We want to recover and collect past and present activities, debates, and political, creative and academic works by queers of colour and allies. We focus on resources in Britain but welcome international references and contributions. 

 The title of the website reflects to us some of the community we’re  striving for, which has a sexually and ethnically diverse membership committed to anti-racism and sexual liberation, as well as to related progressive struggles around, for example, gender, class and disability. However, we believe that we share overlapping projects with many who are critical of  the labels queer and of colour. We welcome contributions from all  who oppose racism and homophobia and are interested in working across difference.

THE WEBSITE WILL SERVE A NUMBER OF PURPOSES, INCLUDING: an active resource to share queer of colour contacts, news and information a tool for networking against racism and homophobia a forum to educate ourselves and others about queer of colour issues an opportunity to celebrate and learn from our 'her'stories a building stone towards a racially, ethnically and sexually inclusive community

  HOW CAN YOU CONTRIBUTE?
It would be great if you could find the time and energy to contribute to this website. All contributions will be acknowledged on the website, unless you wish to contribute anonymously or under a pseudonym. We suggest the following structure for the website, and your contributions could fit into any of these pages. However, any other contributions and ideas are very welcome. 
1) Contacts of groups and organisations: What’s left of our organisations? Where can we get involved? Where can we turn for help when we need it? Who can we network with? You could contribute by: - sharing contacts of the groups that you are or have been part of and outline their aims, membership and activities. If available, please include weblinks. - putting us in touch with other groups around race/ethnicity and sexuality.
2) Her/Historiographies: There are few records of what’s already happened in queer of colour  activism in Britain. As queer women of colour in our late twenties, we have learned and gained courage from talking to people involved in eighties and nineties activism, and from readingold copies of the former magazine Spare Rib and the booklet and reader by Black lesbians Valerie Mason-John, Ann Khambatta and Adowa Okorrowa. You could contribute by: - sharing your own experiences of queer of colour and related activisms,  and the lessons you’ve learned.- putting us in touch with others who might be willing to do the same.
3) Political, creative and academic writings and productions: Living in white heterosexist societies, our first political communities are often books and articles, images and songs. We gain strength from the work of those whose personal or political identities overlap with ours. You could contribute by: - sharing your music, creative writing, photography and other artisitic productions. - sharing papers, articles and other non-fiction that you've written, or  are willing to write for the website. - introducing us to other artists and writers who might be willing to share their work. - helping us compile an annotated bibliography of writings on race and sexuality; by sharing what you’ve read, what it was about, what you  thought of it, and where people can get hold of it. - helping us compile a similar list of films, music, photography and other artistic works. 
4) Notice board: The latest surge of racism has brought hometo us the need to watch our communities and connect with others to orchestrate responses. For example, some queers of colour and their allies reacted to Islamophobic articles in the Pink Paper by writing readers letters and counter articles. The  notice board could develop into an e-group or into a newsletter reaching those who are not on the net. You could contribute by:  letting people know of events such as meetings, demonstrations, conferences, concerts, plays, readings, performances and TV programmes. - sharing your thoughts on these events. 
5) Technical help: Tamsila has designed most of the website but would be extremely grateful  for tips and tricks by others. We are also still looking for free or cheap web space, ideas on funding, and tips how to advertise the website. 

TIME FRAME FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE QOCR WEBSITE: 
I) As soon as possible: Please put us in touch with other groups and interested individuals who might be willing to contribute. Please share your technical expertise.
II) By 15th April 2002: Please give us an idea of what form your contribution will take. For longer contributions, please briefly describe your plans. 
III) By 15th August 2002: Please send us your contribution.
IV) By 15th November 2002: Launch of the website! Looking forward to your hearing back from you, 
Jinthana and Tamsila.

WHO WE ARE: Tamsila has been involved in leftist political activism for nearly ten years. She currently works as a school technician and programme assistant for a women's NGO. On a voluntary basis Tamsila is involved in projects around Islam and Queer sexuality. Jinthana was involved in student activism around sexuality, race and class and now does research on the Thai diaspora and mixed race in Britain and Germany. Her other current project is compiling a booklet for young Thai people in Britain. 

O Liverpool

Hi I'm a gay man in my sixties, I'm white, single and like many of my generation was once married

Over the past twenty years or more I've had many Asian guys as sex partners some over quite long periods some as one night stands.

Most of these guys I have picked up at first from cottages but with the demise of cottages more and more from the internet. Sometimes however they have been guys delivering leaflets down my road or just guys whose eye's met mine in a public place.

One thing almost all these guys have in common is that they are married and mostly have children. I am convinced that from their behaviour sexually they are not bisexual or straight guys just having fun but just gay guys who got married because that's what guys do.
I can relate to that having done just that.

Occasionally though I wonder if I should feel any guilt about having sex with these guys. Am I putting their marriage at risk or harming their kids. One answer is that if they didn't have sex with me, it would be someone else. 

That is never a good answer to this kind of question. It's the one prince Charles once used to justify this country selling arms to some pretty nasty regimes across the world.

Perhaps I am saving their marriage by providing a relief valve (in the nicest possible way) for their true sexual feelings which enables them to carry on with their married life.

When I was younger and married and went off for sex with guys, I never thought about what my partners were feeling, so maybe I should be the same. For a time having sex with guys did take a pressure off being married but eventually I wanted just guys and nothing else and eventually my family broke up. But I don't blame the guys I had sex with for that, it was a consequence of social attitudes, my own sexuality and perhaps the easy availability of male partners.

Eric

Dear Gayasia Forum,

Reading several dozens messages from people who enter your site I am amazed at the significant difference between what is written about being gay and our natural-ness and what is current information from the biological
sciences. Yes, there is still much need for progress in researching how we
will prove being gay to be genetic versus environmental. Yes, there is much
debate about whether this matters to us and our well being. However, as long
as I read comments from yGayasia readers that state none of the animal
kingdom displays gay behaviors, I cringe at the falsehood behind such
notions.

The biological and theological communities of academic study have clearly
admitted that several other species of animals display long and frequent
same-gender sexual and affectional play with one another. There are even
some animals that display long term and same-gender relationships with one
another. This might be news to some who are not accustomed to examining
information for themselves, but rather busy their lives taking in as truth
that which is groundless and not supported by living data. 

Even some of the great biologists in our world have been so heavily indoctrinated by odd theocratic views that the very biological actions they witnessed were not admitted. Only recently have we seen public discussions about same-gender affection, love and sexual play that fosters a newly birthed display of frank talk among scientists who dare to talk freely of what they have seen for many decades or generations. The animal kingdom has several different  species of creatures where same-gender affection, relationships and sexual play abounds. Certainly this is not the majority of the species, yet it is
very real and very accurately documented.

Now, there might be some among the writers who have visited this Gayasia
site in the past who have visited this site at the prompting of zealots from
some faith-based group who have deliberate intentions to insert letters that
shame us Gay people into some sense of inner-loathing. Those who visit here
ought to participate instead in a warmly intentioned discussion about
explorations into the theology, the biology, the social, the political, the
everyday living subtleties of accepting differences among people as well as
the biology that describes what is our nature and the range of that natural
expression we see as sexuality.

Certainly I have not a conclusive proof that same-gender sexuality is innate
in me and other species where we see a constant emergence of same-gender
affection and sexual play. I do, however, have a significantly clear
conscience from a lifetime of keen awareness that could provide me with
insight into even my own psyche, my biological pre-dispositions and whether
my sexuality was acquired or a compass heading with which I was born.
Proving this within the scientific methods currently respected as a proof
will require time and design to arrive at the appropriate studies among
populations who are just now admitting their variations along the range of
sexuality.

In a family where five children produced two brothers who were both Gay, I
am rather excited about the future when we will hear the pronouncements that
our family already understands. Our spirituality has never suffered or found
us berating any faith group as a wrongful source of inspiration and
meritorious ethics. How we busy ourselves judging other's live in contrasts
with our selected faith groups troubles me. To use derision and scathing
humiliation of any kind to cast blanket diminishment upon any group of
people seems seriously suspect.... suspect of rational and reasonable
clarity of thinking, instead of careful observation. Within this forum we
see people who call themselves Gay who posit that all Gay men behave in
specific parallels, yet much of my life is a contradiction to the
stereotypes I read espoused.

Gayasia is an excellent forum and place to explore with many like minds and
also encounter some obvious voices whose intention is a complicated form of
rage at us Gay men. Often a public forum will become a shouting match where
people with zealous opinions and the urgent desire to repeat the
pronouncements of others who pretend to be authorities will be given
airtime. Though any forum can become a rude place where falsehoods are often
repeated, we individuals must search for those comments or portions of
comments wherein truths reside. To each among us who intend to search for
morsels of hope and truths, please share what you find with me as well
[mills.sr@ix.netcom.com]. It is a lifelong search to locate that which will
foster others in their thriving. Your responses will allow me insights that
might make a difference in the thriving of others. We can afford to share
when we find such solace in the commonality that soothes our alone-ness. 

We know all people, regardless of sexuality, feel a sense of alone-ness. When
entire societies and faiths have added hatred and fear of us, our alone-ness
can be severe by comparison to the usual persons around us. I hope we will
be supportive so as to reduce the prevalence of suicide among our Gay youth
and elders who succumb to the hatred and inner loathing pressed upon us by
simply never seeing or hearing of noble lives of Gay people in our world.
Let us get the word out about our Gay brothers and their sweethearts who
display noble and contributive lives. Even Islam and Hindu and Christian
groups will one day waken to the realities as we display who we are and they
become acquainted with those who have been secretive too long for our
detractors to really see the breadth and depth who we are.

Wishing you well,
Stephen
Sacramento, California USA

As a British born muslim it saddens me to read of misguided young guys setting off to fight against this country claiming they go to  defend their religion. In this country I can express my sexual feelings even if some would condemm me, my life is not at risk. In most of the countries with Islamic governments I would be stoned to death just for being as God made me. It hurts me that my religion won't accept me as I am but if some of those extreme governments are replaced by more moderate regimes, I won;'t shed any tears.
A.M.

Press Release 
Bombay Times, Slice of Bombay. 23rd July, 2001. 
"It's Raining Men" - Kushalrani

Saturday night at a suburban disco. It's 11 pm, noisy, smoky and as packed as the 8:02 Virar local. Everyone's high and happy, the dance floor is alive and kicking, the DJ's choice of music extremely  popular. Not exactly the time to indulge in deep thought, but you cant help yourself. Because suddenly, you've got a whole new perspective on the hit song, It's Raining Men.

The heterosexual in you is stuck with this epiphany: how  discriminatory
can we be? Why should it's raining men just be a women's song, sung  with
cheerful attitude? Why cant men sing it too? With the same cheerful attitude?

But it's a party, so the deep thought vanishes as quickly as it popped up, and you're glad to notice that all around you, the men are singing this song. Happily with cheerful attitude.

Which is actually what you'd expect at a gay party. Organized  nce a month by the gay support group gaybombay.com, its open to homosexuals, Lesbians and anyone else with an open mind. But if you arrive  expecting something out of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, forget it: the mostexciting thing there is chinos, T-shirts, jeans and the occasional body-hugging top.

Though the accessories can get a bit fantastic: a pair of illuminated earplugs that flash in tune with the music's beat; so much in demand that perfect strangers rush to it's owner, begging to borrow one for  the next song.

The place is filled with men, of all shapes, sizes and personalities. There are the gay-at-a-glance guys, highly-suspect-from-the-fashion-industry guys, the I-always-wondered-about-them guys from the media and even a couple of Veerappan looka-likes.

What there's not a lot of, is women. Even though the party's for them too. "It always happens this way,"says a guy named Sunil. "I've been  to gay parties in the US as well, and you'll rarely find lesbians there.  I  Think women have a harder time coming out of the closet."

What women there are at this parties are straight - or claim to be.They've accompanied their friends out of curiosity. And they're  having a great time too. "Women love gay parties," grins Vikram. "No one hits  on them!"

For those with closed minds: no, this is not sleazy. It's a party, that's all. 

Yesterday I was at the residence of someone near the offices of Bharosa NGO. At about 11.30 I noticed that the lights were on in the office,. Since the police had purportedly sealed the office I suspected something fishy and went over to enquire.

At the office I was stopped from entering at the door by a police person in Uniform. He said he would call his officials out. however when he turned and went in I went in after him. There were 6 policemen there, all in uniform. they were frantically removing and replacing a lot of papers all over the office. When they saw me they stopped for most probably they were not expecting any intrusion in their work. One policeman very angrily asked me who I was and what Iwanted. I thereafter introduced myself and told them that I was the lawyer in the case and of theorganisation.

At hearing who I was the police person in an inspectors uniform, [I failed to see the name plate...stupid me] said very sarcastically, 'aaiye aaiye wakil sahab, aap hi ka intezaar tha [welcome Mr. lawyer we were waiting for you only]'. He then said that he has come to know from IB that I am mailing everyone, and said I was a member of the gay club and that I was equally involved in the racket.   At that I replied that I was not aware of any racket or gay club, and that I am the lawyer of the organisation. I demanded to know what the police were doing in a supposedly sealed premises. I asked if it was another raid and if so where were the independent
witnesses that is required under the law to be present. I also asked if they had the requisitepermission from the court to enter the offce.

At this the same inspector abused me and said that they were the police and they could do whatever they felt like, and threatened me with arrest for taking on the case. He said that I had no business leaving Delhi and taking up the case in Lucknow and contacting people. The only reason why I was Lucknow as per him was because I was member of the racket and the gayclub. There was off course no use trying to convince him on the subtleties of the law and human rights. 

I still insisted on knowing what they were doing and politely requested him to not use filthy language and make unsubstantiated allegations. At this he said no 'sharif [decent]' lawyer is out at a gay club at 11.30 t night. He said the police would only talk to me in the court. Since there was nothing that I could do I left the premises. However two policemen followed meto the residence of *** nearby where I was going to meet his parents. They even made lewd comments at me.

So much for the sanctity of lawyer client relations. The UP police can effectively raise a lot of hallowed institution to the ground.

I am convinced that the illegal entry at the office has been to plant false evidence. The police I feel ay have by now done their homework and must have found out that BCC materials do not qualify as pornography. I am convinced that they are planting pornography to falsely implicate the arrested, for otherwise their case falls flat on its face and they make an [metaphorically speaking] ass of themselves.Today [10.7.01] morning I had my doubts and therefore went to the office of Naz Foundation International [NFI],. there I came to know [from neighbours] that the police had come in a gypsy and had taken the same inside the premises and had spend an hour there. The office has 20 lakhs worth of office automation equipments and other furnitures and properties. Plus the library has books which are quiet literally priceless. I am not certain about whether the police removed any of this property. They could in the gypsy if they desired. If they do there is no one to stop them and in Lucknow apparently no accountability. The police is above the law and they can do what they want. But most importantly, I am again convinced that the main reason for their entry was to plant false evidence. 

I had no option but to move the court of the Chief Judicial Majistrate today and seek remedy. The Learned Majistrate was very sympathetic and he has called upon the police to explain their conduct within 2 days. The matter would be heard next on the 12th of the month. 

But none the less the point remains that it is utterly shameful that the police in a society that supposedly calls itself liberal, progressive and democratic and actually indulge in such fascist tactics to harass others and illegally impose an medieval code of morality. It is shameful that the police have to take on the role of the false guardians of supposed morals and values, because they are convinced that they are dire failures in their real function of providing a safe existence to the citizenry.

The UP police is the shame that all individuals who value human rights and belive that there is some virtue in saving lives by HIV/AIDS intervention with vulnerable populations must stand up and oppose. Otherwise as I am wont to repeat over and over again, Martin Neimoller may just stand vindicated in a liberal democratic and slightly hypocritic India.

Love
A

.Dear Friends 

I am enclosing below an important message related to a signature 
campaign being carried out by Humrahi, New Delhi, to put pressure on the 
National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) to recognise "subjecting homosexuals to shock treatment or aversion therapy in order to cure them of their sexualities" as a human rights violation. 

The campaign was triggered off after an individual who had experienced similar "treatment" at the hands of a psychiatrist in New Delhi approached Humrahi for help. 

Please participate in the campaign, either by posting letters of 
support over e-mail or by snail mail. One copy of the letter should go to 
the NHRC and the other to Humrahi for their records. You can send letters 
individually or in groups. 

Regards 
Sherry Joseph 
---------- 
 This is the original message posted by Shaleen Rakesh of Humrahi, 
New Delhi. 
--------------------------- 
Dear Friends, 

Two months back, a young guy from Delhi's gay community approached 
us in a state of emotional chaos. He was seeing a doctor at The All India 
Institute of Medical sciences (AIIMS) who had been administering drugs to him 
to curb his `homosexual fantasies'. 

Only after going through counseling, he realized it was okay to feel attracted sexually to other guys. He felt a loss of innocence and at what the doctor had been doing and a sense of being violated. 

On his behalf, the Milan Project approached the National Human 
Rights Commission (NHRC) who asked us to file a complaint, which we did. Of 
course, that's all that NHRC does most of the time, file complaints without 
doing anything. Friends of mine in NHRC told me that this was too much of a political hot potato for NHRC to touch and that off the record, NHRC will not do anything (which is not surprising, since they rarely do anything). 

Consequently, a journalist friend of mine at the Indian Express 
Newspaper decided to pick up this case. She started pressurizing NHRC and the Delhi Psychiatric Association to make an official statement. NHRC seems to feel this is not a human rights violation but a social issue (as if these 
are mutually exclusive entities) so a civil case needs to be pursued in 
the Delhi high court. 

The President of the Delhi Psychiatric Association (DPA), on Friday, told the journalist that DPA's official position is that homosexuality is not a mental sickness. On being pressed by the journalist to give this in writing or publish this in their journal, he said that it was not`important'  enough for them to publish when compared to more serious matters like schizophrenia and depression. 

 The journalist is filing this story in tomorrow's Newsline edition of the Indian Express. This will probably appear in the Delhi edition tomorrow and will subsequently be picked up by other city editions 

I feel what's good is that DPA has at least made the first official announcement of their position, which will be published in thestory. Of course, the rest is dismayingly homophobic. 

We plan to highlight this case in the symposium in Delhi on Friday and in the press releases thereafter. 
Regards, 
Shaleen. 

-------- 

The following is the standard format for a letter that can be sent to NHRC. 
You can edit it according to your desire, keeping the focus. The postal and e-mail addresses of NHRC and Humrahi are given after the letter. 

----------------------------------------

Date 

Justice J.S. Verma
Chairman 
NHRC 
New Delhi 

Respected Sir, 

This refers to the complaint lodged by Shaleen Rakesh of Naz Foundation with the NHRC on May 29th, 2001. The complaint diary number is 3920 and 
it deals with the human rights violation of India's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual 
and Transgender (LGBT) community due to the Indian psychiatric 
community's silence on its position on homosexuality. 

As detailed in the complaint, the issue impinges the very basic ingredients of individual dignity and freedom of LGBT people in our country. The psychiatric community's reinforcement that homosexuality is not a mental sickness requiring a cure can not only address these human concerns, it can also indirectly offer protection to these people whose human rights are being violated on a continuous basis. 

Many of us who are writing to you are a part of this community and have personal experiences of our own to relate. Others are working closely with this community and have seen many cases in which LGBT people are reduced to helpless `victims' of a system that refuses to see the issue as part 
of a broader human rights framework. 

We therefore urge you to consider this complaint with the seriousness it deserves and act keeping in mind the highest principles of human 
spirit and dignity that NHRC strives to uphold. 

Regards, 

XXXXX 

Sheikh Omar Bakri Mohammed, told a Birmingham newspaper that he opposed Al-Fatiha, an organisation of gay and lesbian Muslims.

He said: "Never will such an organisation be tolerated in Islam and the
ruling for such acts is death." He said that the group was illegitimate and
called its members "apostates."

According to a report on a gay website, Sheikh Bakri has been implicated in
a poster campaign last year urging Birmingham Muslims to "kill the Jews". 
He  is also allegedly an associate of Osama Bin Laden, who is wanted on
terrorism charges.

A spokesman for Al-Fatiha said they are taking the threat seriously but gay
Muslims are used to being victimised which was the whole purpose of setting
up Al-Fatiha.

"Issuing fatwas against people who are expressing their natural sexuality
does little for progressing Islam." He added.
Sheikh Bakri denied being homophobic in a Sunday Mercury interview last
year, saying "although homosexuality is a crime and disease we have nothing
gainst them as long as they do it in private behind closed doors."

He has previously exercised his religious standing. He called for the death
of playwright Terence McNally after he portrayed Jesus Christ as a
homosexual in the play Corpus Christi. He also declared a 24-year-old Birmingham-born student Abdullah Bai a  martyr  after he suicide-bombed an Indian army barracks in Kashmir near Pakistan.Most scholars agree that the Islamic holy book the Koran condemns
homosexuality and some strict Middle East countries punish such acts with
death  Sheikh Bakri who is also the judge of the Islamic Shar'iah Court in London has the sole authority in the UK to issue fatwas.

Sunday Mercury

    By combining their strength, a male black swan duo — mated for years or life — stakes out prime territory sometimes 100 times as large as properties left over for their neighbors. A male couple interested in fatherhood consorts with a female, shooing her away after she lays eggs. Or the homosexual couple forcibly adopts an egg-filled nest. Together, the male pair incubates the eggs and raises the chicks. The male couples’ success rate is awesome: Though just 5 percent of black swan pairs, they parent 20 to 25 percent of surviving chicks. 

    Often, the belief that human homosexuality is somehow “unnatural” is grounded in the equally unenlightened notion that animals in the wild never flirt, court or bond sexually with creatures of the same sex. Now, however, thanks to a monumental and captivating work — Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity (St. Martin’s Press, $40) — the far-flung evidence of homosexuality in more than 450 species is collected in one book. 

    “The nuclear heterosexual family, if you look across the whole animal species is really the exception, rather than the rule,” author Bruce Bagemihl (pronounced “bog-a-meal”) said in an interview. Though common among birds, male-female pairing beyond momentary encounters is found in only 5 percent of mammals. In some species, such as California’s northern elephant seal, 90 percent of males never attempt to breed. 

    Bagemihl, a gay man with a doctorate in cognitive science, searched for a compilation of research into animal homosexuality while studying biology as an undergraduate. Finding none, he decided to write it himself. “I wanted to get a more sophisticated discussion going on,” he explained. 

    Yet Bagemihl’s eye-opening revelations about how thoroughly homosexual, bisexual and transgender animals are woven into the natural world probably won’t resolve many human political fights: People determined to be hostile can always find new excuses. But for the rest of us, it offers new and exciting ways to look at living creatures. 

    As its delightful title suggests, Biological Exuberance affirms life in all its richness, abundance and complexity. Bagemihl guides us through an animal world where violent, claw-your-way-to-the-top quests for territorial and sexual dominance recede to give us a view of other elements at play — companionship, affection, cooperation, shared sexual pleasure: 

* Pairs of male walruses nestle together like vertical spoons as they float in the sea while sleeping. 

* Lesbian rhesus monkeys play “kiss and run” and other courtship games found only among them. 

* Male giraffes sensually “neck” only with each other. 

* Heterosexual females in many species puzzle sexist zoologists by initiating sex. 

* Among grizzlies, the only two-parent families are those in which momma bears raise cubs together. If one co-parent dies, the other usually adopts her cubs. Nine percent of cubs have two mothers. 

* Inventive pygmy chimps known as bonobos, generally bisexual, have a dozen hand signals to direct their sex partners.

J>I> from london

May I add my bit to discussion on married pals. I too agree with the opinion that married guys are selfish and interested in only sex. I have met several of them on the net and also through my listings in various web sites. I always lay down my conditions in the very first meeting. I say that there will be a second meeting if and only if you want to have relation beyond sex. I am not asking you to leave the family and children, I do not expect to take you away from them. But sometimes just sometimes give me some quality time that does not involve sex. I mean we could just have a dinner or a movie together or sometimes I may need some company just for mundane shopping. But believe me to date no one has come back with Yes.

Again I have full sympathy for those forced to get married due to family pressure etc. But at the same time equal number of gays do get married because they want to someone to keep the house, cook food and wash clothes. 

They also want the social status that comes with marriage. And then they go after guys just to satisfy their lust. Bitter may it sound, but it is truth from my own experiences.Jay (Posted on Gay Bombay )

TOP OF PAGE

I have seen my mother cry and my father's face full of pain when I categorically told them why they should abandon hopes of a daughter-in-law and grandchildren. It was a horrible moment that I can never forget.But it had to be done. I did not want them to live in hope in a web full of lies as some of my other gay friends have chosen to do.

I believe in Karma. I believe we all have  been given one life full of predetermined and impersonal events. We have to cope with it. As we explore/endure/appreciate these moments we gain an understanding into life itself.I feel my homosexuality is a gift to understand the wonder of existence? It has made me think, question, ponder, fight, enjoy, appreciate, applaud, hate, cry, love and lust. 

I believe that it is in the destiny of my parents to deal with the homosexuality of their only son. Imagine nurturing hopes for 30 years and then being told that their dream cannot be realized because the foundation of that dream (the son should naturally be sexually 
attracted to girls) is false. I can imagine their suffering. I cannot change my homosexuality. I cannot lie to them. They have therefore no choice but to endure the truth and the realization of life's mysteries that comes with it.

Its tough. 

Marriage is a 'definite choice' for a gay man if he is willing to pay the price. He has to endure lying to his parents (yes, I like this girl), and his wife (I am sexually attracted to you) and his children (yes your conception was not a mechanical act). I am not willing to endure this package of lies. 

We all have to make choices in life - choices in a pre-determined environment is often left to our reactions to an event. Best wishes to all of you in your choices.(origin. Gay Bombay)

 (article appeared in 28th anniversary issue of Debonair)

Did homosexuality exist in ancient India? The answer in many respects depends on what we mean by homosexuality. Do we limit ourselves only 
to sexual acts between members of the same sex and leave out romantic 
affection? Do we distinguish between those men who occasionally have sex with other men but otherwise live heterosexual lives, and those for whom their sexual preference forms the core of their identity? Do we consider same-sex intercourse that occurs in the course of a subterfuge, or as a result of frustration or desperation? And do we include liaisons involving those who consider themselves neither male nor female (for example, hijras)? Definitions are important because `homosexuality' does not connote the same thing to all people. Besides, the meaning has changed over time. As has the meaning of heterosexuality. 

Until early 20th century, `heterosexuality' was used to refer to `morbid sexual practices' between men and women such as oral and anal intercourse, as opposed to `normal' procreative sex. The term homosexuality – that is so casually used today and is almost an everyday vocabulary – came into being only in the late 19th century Europe when discussions on the varied expressions of sex and sexuality became acceptable in academic circles. The term was used to describe "morbid sexual passion between members of the same sex." It was declared `unnatural' by colonial laws, as unnatural as casual sex between men and women that was not aimed at conception. 

The term homosexuality and the laws prohibiting `unnatural' sex were 
imposed across the world through imperial might. Though they exerted a powerful influence on subsequent attitudes, they were neither universal nor timeless. They were – it must be kept in mind – products of minds that were deeply influenced by the `sex is sin' stance of the Christian Bible. With typical colonial condescension, European definitions, laws, theories and attitudes totally disregarded how similar sexual activity was perceived in other 
cultures. 

There never has been across geography or history a standard expression of, or a common attitude towards sexual acts between members of the same sex. Love of a man for a boy was institutionalised in ancient Greece, amongst Samurais in Japan, in certain African as well as Polynesian tribes. Amongst some Native and South American tribes, erotic relationships between men was acceptable so long as one of the partners was `feminine'. For Arabs, so medieval travellers claim, `women were for home and hearth, while boys were for pleasure'. These cultures offer no synonym for same-sex intercourse. It was perhaps a practice that did not merit definition, categorization or even condemnation. So long as it did not threaten the dominant heterosexual social construct. 

To find out if homosexuality or same-sex intercourse existed in India, and in what form, we have to turn to three sources: images on temple walls, sacred narratives and ancient law books.

What the walls show

Construction of Hindu temples in stone began around the sixth century of the Common Era. Construction reached climax between the twelfth and the fourteenth century when the grand pagodas of eastern and southern India such as Puri and Tanjore came into being. On the walls and gateways of these magnificent structures we find a variety of images: gods, goddesses, demons, nymphs, sages, warriors, lovers, priests, monsters, dragons, plants and animals. Amongst scenes from epics and legends, one invariably finds erotic images including those that modern law deems unnatural and society considers obscene. Curiously enough, similar images also embellish prayer halls and cave temples of monastic orders such as Buddhism and Jainism built around
the same time.

The range of erotic sculptures is wide: from dignified couples exchanging romantic glances, to wild orgies involving warriors, sages and courtesans. Occasionally one finds images depicting bestiality coupled with friezes of animals in intercourse. All rules are broken: elephants are shown copulating with tigers, monkeys molest women while men mate with asses. And once in a while, hidden in niches as in Khajuraho, one does find images of either women erotically embracing other women or men displaying their genitals to each other, the former being more common (suggesting a tilt in favour of the male 
voyeur). 

These images cannot be simply dismissed as perverted fantasies of an artist or his patron considering the profound ritual importance given to these shrines. There have been many explanations offered for these images – ranging from the apologetic to the ridiculous. Some scholars hold a rather puritanical view that devotees are being exhorted to leave these sexual thoughts aside before entering the sanctum sanctorum. Others believe that hidden in these images is a sacred Tantric geometry; the aspirant can either be deluded by the sexuality of the images or enlightened by deciphering the geometrical patterns therein. One school of thought considers these images to 
representations of either occult rites or fertility ceremonies. Another suggests that these were products of degenerate minds obsessed with sex in a corrupt phase of Indian history. According to ancient treatises on architecture, a religious structure is incomplete unless its walls depicts something erotic, for sensual pleasures (kama) are as much an expression of life as are righteous
conduct (dharma), economic endeavours (artha) and spiritual pursuits 
(moksha). 

Interpretations and judgements aside, these images to tell us that the `idea' of same-sex and what the colonial rulers termed `unnatural' intercourse did exist in India. One can only speculate if the images represent the common or the exception. 

What the stories suggest

In Indian epics and chronicles, there are occasional references to same-sex intercourse. For example, in the Valmiki Ramayana, Hanuman is said to have seen Rakshasa women kissing and embracing those women who have been kissed and embraced by Ravana. In the Padma Purana is the story of a king who dies before he can give his two queens the magic potion that will make them pregnant. Desperate to bear his child, the widows drink the potion, make love to each other (one behaving as a man, the other as a woman) and conceive a child. Unfortunately, as two women are involved in the rite of conception, the child is born without bones or brain (according to ancient 
belief, the mther gives the fetus flesh and blood, while the father 
gives the boe and brain). In these stories, the same-sex intercourse,born of frustration or desperation, is often a poor substitute of heterosexual sex. 

More common are stories of women turning into men and men turning into women.  In the Mahabharata, Drupada raises his daughter Shikhandini as a man and even gets `him' a wife. When the wife discovers the truth on the wedding night, all hell breaks loose; her father threatens to destroy Drupada's kingdom. The timely intervention of Yaksha saves the day: he lets Shikhandini use his manhood for a night and perform his husbandly duties. In the Skanda Purana, two Brahmins desperate for money disguise themselves as a newly married couple and try to dupe a pious queen in the hope of 
secuing rich gifts. But such is the queen's piety that the gods decide to prevent her from being made a fool; they turn the Brahmin dressed as a bride into a real woman. The two Brahmins thus end up marrying each other and all ends well. According to a folk narrative from Koovagam in Tamil Nadu, the Pandavas were told to sacrifice Arjuna's son Aravan if they wished to win the war at Kurukshetra. Aravan refused to die a virgin. 

As no woman was willing to marry a man doomed to die in a day, Krishna's help was sought. Krishna turned into a woman, married Aravan, spent a night with him and when he was finally beheaded, mourned for him like a widow. These stories allow women to have sex with women and men to have sex with men on heterosexual terms. One may interpret these tales as repressed 
homosexual fantasies of a culture. 

Perhaps the most popular stories revolving around gender 
metamorphoses are those related to Mohini, the female incarnation of 
Lord Vishnu. They are found in many Puranas. Vishnu becomes a woman 
to trick demons and tempt sages. When the gods and demons churn the 
elixir of immortality out of the ocean of milk, Mohini distracts the 
demons with her beauty and ensures that only the gods sip the divine 
drink. In another story, Mohini tricks a demon with the power to 
incinerate any creature by his mere touch to place his hand on his 
own head. Mohini is so beautiful that when Shiva looks upon her he 
sheds semen out of which are born mighty heroes such as Hanuman 
(according to Shiva Purana) and Ayyappa (according to the Malayalee 
folk lore). One wonders why Vishnu himself transforms into a woman 
when he could have appointed a nymph or goddess to do the needful. 
However, devotees brush aside even the suggestion of a homosexual 
subtext; for them this sexual transformation is merely a necessary 
subterfuge to ensure cosmic stability. He who is enchanted by 
Mohini's form remains trapped in the material world; he who realizes 
Mohini's essence (Vishnu) attains liberation.

In the Brahmavaivarta Purana, Mohini tells Brahma, "Any man who 
refuses to satisfy a willing woman in her fertile period is a eunuch." This idea is explicit in the Mahabharata when Arjuna is deprived of his manhood after he spurns the sexual attentions of the nymph Urvashi. Consequently, the mighty archer is forced to live as a `eunuch dance teacher' called Brihanalla in the court of King Virata for a year. All this suggests that in ancient India, men who were `unlike men', unwilling or incapable to have intercourse with 
women, were deprived of their manhood and expected to live as women 
in the fringes of mainstream society. Perhaps this explains the 
existence of the hijra community in India. Like Brihanalla of 
Mahabharata, hijras have served in the female quarters of royal 
households for centuries.

Hijras are organized communities comprises of males who express themselves socially as women. They are a mix of transsexuals (men who believe themselves to be women), transvestites (men who dress in women's clothes), homosexual (men who are sexually and romantically attracted to men), hermaphrodites (men whose genitals are poorly defined due to genetic defect or hormonal imbalance) and eunuchs (castrated men). In one of the many folk stories associated with ahucharaji (patron goddess of hijras worshipped in Gujarat), the goddess was once a princess who castrated her husband because he preferred going to forest and `behaving as a woman' instead of coming 
to er bridal bed. In another story, the man who attempted to molest 
Bahucharaji was cursed with impotency. He was forgiven only after he 
gave up his masculinity, dressed as a woman and worshipped the goddess. 

The idea of men who are not quite male or female was known in India for a long time. Such beings were known as kliba. In the Brahmana texts, written eight centuries before Christ we learn that when the gods separated the three worlds, there was sorrow. The gods cast the sorrow of the heaven into a whore (socially improper woman), the sorrow of the nether regions into the rogue (socially improper man) and the sorrow of earth into the kliba (biologically imperfect human). In later Hindu texts such as Manusmriti, the kliba was 
forbidden for participating in rituals; he was not allowed to possess 
property. Scholars believe the kliba was an umbrella term not unlike present-day words like namard and napunsak, which could mean anything 
from sexually dysfunctional male to impotent man to homosexual. One 
text describes fourteen different types of klibas, one of whom is a man who uses his mouth as a vagina (mukhabhaga). Hijras believe that they are neither male nor female, making them the descendents of the ancient kliba (though there is no definite proof in this regard). 

According to hijra folklore, when Rama went to the forest in exile, 
he asked the men and women of Ayodhya who had followed him to return 
to city. Since he said nothing to those who were neither male nor female, these waited outside the city until he returned. Touched by their devotion, Rama declared that the non-man would be king in the 
Kali Yuga. 

What the scriptures reveal

The Kali Yuga marks the final phase in the cosmic lifespan, the era before the flood of doom. Hindu scriptures state that in this age all forms of sexual irregularities will occur. Men will deposit semen in apertures not meant for them (Mouth? Anus?). According to Narada Purana: "The great sinner who discharges semen in non-vagins, in those who are destitute of vulva, and uteruses of animals shall fall into the hell 'reto-bhojana' (where one has to subsist on semen). He then falls into 'vasakupa' (a deep and narrow well of fat). There he stays for seven divine years. That man has semen for his diet. He becomes the despicable man in the world when reborn." Clearly an 
acknowledgement, but not acceptance, of homosexual conduct. 

In the Kamasutra, there is a rather disdainful reference to male masseurs who indulge in oral sex (auparashtika). The author of this sex manual was not a fan of homosexual activities though he did refer to them in his book. Reference, but not approval, to homosexual conduct does occur in many Dharmashastras. These Hindu law books tell us what is considered by Brahmins to be acceptable and unacceptable social conduct. Since laws are not made on activities that don't exist, a study of these scriptures does give an insight into 
behaviours in ancient India that merited a law. 
 

The Manusmriti scorns female homosexuals. It states, "If a girl does 
it (has sex) to another girl, she should be fined two hundred (pennies), be made to pay double (the girl's) bride-price, and receive ten whip (lashes). But if a (mature) woman does it to a girl, her head should be shaved immediately or two of her fingers should be cut off, and she should be made to ride on a donkey." There are no kind words for a male homosexual either: "Causing an injury to a priest, smelling wine or things that are not to be smelled, crookedness, and sexual union with a man are traditionally said to cause loss of caste." And: "If a man has shed his semen in non-human 
females, in a man, in a menstruating woman, in something other than a 
vagina, or in water, he should carry out the 'Painful Heating' vow." 
 

Further: "If a twice-born man unites sexually with a man or a woman in a cart pulled by a cow, or in water, or by day, he should bathe with his clothes on." The 'Painful Heating' vow is traditionally said to consist of cow's urine, cow dung, milk, yogurt, melted butter, water infused with sacrificial grass, and a fast of one night. Compared to the treatment of female homosexuals, the treatment of male homosexuals is relatively mild. Note that there are no threats of `eternal' damnation, unlike the dogmas of Judeo-Christian-Islamic 
scriptures. There is nothing permanent in the Hindu world. There is 
always another life, another chance.
 

An overview of temple imagery, sacred narratives and religious scriptures does suggest that homosexual activities – in some form – did exist in ancient India. Though not part of the mainstream, its existence was acknowledged but not approved. There was some degree of tolerance when the act expressed itself in heterosexual terms – when men `became women' in their desire for other men, as the hijra legacy suggests.  The question that remains now is: how does attitudes towards homosexuals in ancient India affect modern-day attitudes? Is our approval or disapproval of same-sex affection and intercourse dependent on ancient values? And while we ponder over the questions, we must remind ourselves that the ancient sources that censure 
homosexual conduct, also institutionalised the caste system and 
approved the subservience of women. 

-- A pioneering case study by the People's Union for Civil Liberties - Karnataka has shown that sexuality minorities in India, who include gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transsexuals, face intense discrimination and violation of their human rights at the hands  of the state and society.

   The report, the first of its kind brought out by a human rights organisation in India, was released this morning at the Press Club of Bangalore and simultaneously in five other Indian cities. It is primarily based on data collected in Bangalore through interviews with lesbians,gays, bisexuals and hijras, as well as members of the police force and  medical establishment. It examines the forms of discrimination perpetrated by the state -- namely, the law and the police -- and society, whose ambit spans the family, household, public space, workplace, the medical establishment, and popular culture.

 The report has found that the most notorious form of legal discrimination against sexuality minorities takes the form of the antiquated Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which criminalises homosexual behaviour. While the Indian Constitution prohibits discrimination on grounds of race, caste, creed, sex and so on, it does not specify sexual orientation. Does this mean that sexuality minorities can be harassed at will? It would seems so, from the attitudes of the enforcers of the law. 

PUCL-K reports countless cases of extortion, blackmail, illegal detention, and physical, verbal and even sexual abuse of male gays in Bangalore by police personnel. In none of these cases have FIRs been recorded, since the complainants are terrified of being "outed" or "found out" by wider society. Interviews with senior police officers reveal a total lack of awareness about sexuality minorities and their rights as citizens. They generally regard homosexuality as an aberration, and as animal-like behaviour. One senior official said that groups that support gay rights in India are illegal!

 The case study critically examines the medical establishment. Although it has adopted the WHO system of classification of mental and behavioural disorders, in practice it continues to treat homosexuality as a disorder. Practitioners usually do not distinguish between ego syntonic and ego dystonic homosexuality, that is, between those who are comfortable with their sexual preference and gender identity, and those who seek treatment because, although they are sure of their sexual identity, they wish it were different.

 The report observes that many people regard homosexuality as "a disease to be cured, an abnormality to be set right, a crime to be punished". hey deny the existence of sexuality minorities in India and label it as n upper class Western phenomenon. The existence of large numbers of members of sexuality minorities in Indian villages and small towns, and  among the poor and non-English-speakers, flies in the face of this misconception. In fact, those from rural and lower caste backgrounds are further marginalised. Forced to conform to prevailing norms, they cannot express their true identities without fear of being ostracised. Many embers of sexuality minorities suffer from feelings of fear, guilt, shame and low self-esteem. Social persecution, often by close family members, has sometimes led to suicide.

 Hijras are despised, abused and tormented by society. Lesbians are doubly oppressed, given society's patriarchial attitudes towards women. There are no public spaces that lesbians share, and therefore society conveniently "invisiblises" them by ignoring their very existence. The majority fight shy of the public eye, realising that any attempt to be visible would be ruthlessly supressed. The gay movement in India has not paid enough attention to issues that concern them. Bisexuals are another marginalised group. Ironically, they face prejudices from other sexuality minorities as well, and are often accused of being dishonest about their sexual identity.

 The PUCL report comes down heavily on the Indian media, which perpetuates stereotypes of homosexuality and, in the worst case, exhibits vicious homophobia. Among its recommendations are:

 * Repeal Section 377 of the IPC and amend Section 375 to punish all forms of sexual violence including sexual abuse of children

 * The police must undergo sensitisation workshops and its behaviour towards sexuality minorities must come under scrutiny of a standing committee

 * Other organisations such as women's groups and Dalit groups must take up issues of sexuality minorities

Having read your web page about gay Asian men, which i found quite informative, i thought i would write to ask if you had thought about having a personal contacts/articles regarding arranged marriages/mba's.  i have a few friends who have been forced into arranged marriages, who although have  maintained that they are bisexuals, and are now happily married, still feel that within the asian community, specially for younger members, it would be beneficial for them to meet others who are experiencing the same issues.    Indeed, there might be girls who are going through the same thing and would  like to meet guys with a view to a marriage, which would perhaps pacify both 
sets of parents and allow they individuals to have the freedom to well have  fun i guess. i thought this might be an area you might be able to expand on. 

Some background information (and i think this can apply to other gay Asian men):  i have been with my partner for ten years (he is white and older he was also once married and has children, with whom he no longer has any contact with), during this time we have remained monogamous and have had to keep our relationship private (from my point of view - 
1) my family will not understand about the gay side! 
2) i am sure they will go berserk because of the age gap and finally 
3) there is that good old familytradition/culture/religion, etc. Also my role within my family is very much one of being the dutiful/obedient/responsible/ son/brother/all around good 
egg and happening to be  a shirt lifter, etc., etc. will not go down well and i personally feel that i would end up hurting too many people. 
My partner is very supportive, my friends too, as they also have the same  pressures that i do.  a couple of them i have known as gay, but in fact have followed the route of arranged marriages and are say now that they are happily married.  i suspect they gay side still lurks but they say they dont 
think about it anymore.  i suppose although this site is predominately about asian guys who are sure about their sexuality, there are many others for whom their sexuality remains ambiguous. 
i have had several interesting conversations with my friends, since i too am being pressured to get married, and to be honest with you, i would welcome it because i want to be dad (something my partner says he would not want to deny me), and having had sex with women in the past i am comfortable with that.  i suppose the idea to write to you was to see if others were experiencing the 
same things i was, male or female.  to open up a forum for debate (it beats raving on about, how unfriendly london is, bollywood and club kali to be frank), to see if people of either gender were facing the same issues, to see if they wanted to meet up, share the issues etc. 

i think that just about covers it, if i get another surge of activity in the brain, i shall write again. 
thanks for taking the time to read this and i hope that this makes more sense.

"S"

Editors Note
This site is for all Gay or Bisexual Asian men and their friends of any race, sure of their sexuality or not. On the subject of Gay Asians who get married and then live happily ever after without any more gay contact in their life, well over the years I've met an awful lot of married Asians. I offer that as a comment not a criticism as having been married as well and had gay contacts at the same time I know how hard it is to suppress what is part of one's makeup.

It's really funny that some Indians come to first world countries thinking
life there is better. Im originally from india and I've been in london for
just 2 years and boy am I disappointed. Not only are people here extremely
homophobic but racist as well. I think people in london have a very
constricted way of thinking.

i have been constantly abused and insulted since the day I came here(paki faggot ,etc,).when I was in india my friends in college were so supportive .I think the concept of homosexuality has been in india for so long that people take it for granted.of course it is much more underground in India but that is good in a way.at least straight people don't bother us, unlike london, where as soon as u set out of soho u  are at the mercy of straight  people. 

I don't understand gay people here either All they do is get laid and hang out at clubs cruising for strangers. Hello- some of us have a life as well  u know.  I feel the rapid westernisation of india has also been responsible for this relaxed attitude towards gay people especially amongst upper middle class teenagers. I hope my course finishes really fast and I can go back home soon.
Rito
 

I think you have been unlucky in your experience of London but it is true that racism and homophobia are around.  I have known a lot of Asian gay guys in the Uk over the last 20 years and most seem to be happy here and while some have to marry and lead a double
life, more and more seem to manage to excape that. Maybe most you have come across are younger and still enjoying a new found freedom and perhaps being a little wild.

The PUCL report on this page from Bangalore also makes an interesting comparison with your opinion about Indian gay life. (read)

 I spent time in India twice in the last two years and while I enjoyed being there, when the plane landed at Heathrow, I was very happy to be home. It's just human nature.
Editor GaysiaI 

 RITO

Close your eyes - what was your first response to thetitle - Is being gay being lonely Yes, no or let's
read and find out. Well if you think yes you're probably going to be lonely for a long time if you
thought no you're probably out right now having a great time with friends or someone who sends shivers down your spine. If you are reading to find out - good for you because if you read this and it makes sense to you there is a good chance you are going to kill that lonely monster who raises his head every now and then.

What I'm going to say is a cliché you have probably heard a million times and you will probably want to bang my brains out but I'm saying it loud and clear - ITS ALL IN THE MIND.
Not only that, it sits and sits in the mind and becomes the most vicious circle ever. Here's what
happens you think "it's so ****ing difficult being gay . I wish I was straight." You think that over and over and you actually become a miserable self pitying person. Let me tell you no one in their right minds wants to have anything to do with someone who is drowning in self pity. So there goes your chance of finding someone. Even your old friends straight or gay won't want to hang around a pathetic you. They want the confident happy you.

Easier said than done - no way easier done than not done.

Here are some facts of life to kick you out of your I'm so unlucky mode -

This article was meant to get you thinking there are bound to be some of you who disagree and some of you think it very simplistic that's the idea we want to know so do a little self searching and tell us what you thought. 

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