RUDE STUFF #2

www.Giggle-Factory.co.uk

RUDE STUFF #2

Here at the Giggle-Factory we pride ourselves on the use of our English grandma. Err...grammar.

So what better way to enlighten all those not enlightened than to take a look at one of the most used and versatile words in the language.

F*CK.

Well, it's in the dictionary. At least, it's in the one we use at the Factory. (Strangely, ours has only got a few words in it. There's one or two beginning with C, a couple beginning with S, another F, four or five Bs, plus some others).

Fortunately, for would be users, the F word finds favour in many situations and can easily be used as:

A noun:What a silly f*cker. An adjective: That's f*cking enormous.
An adverb: He runs f*cking quickly. A verb: F*ck-off.

And so on.

Added to that, the F word plus the word, hell, simplifies most human feelings:

Delight, derision, pleasure, hate, physical pain, uncertainty, lust, love, apathy, a greeting, hope, denial, etc =F*ckin' 'ell.

And, for example, more advanced users might like to try experimenting, thus:

Apathy: I'm f*cked if I care.
Uncertainty: F*ckin' 'ell. Dunno.
Surprise / a sexual invitation: F*ck me.

And so on.

For your edification, the Giggle-Factory has been out to the local library armed only with pencil and notebook, looking for examples of the F word being used throughout history. We might have been wading through weighty tomes, consulting countless magazines and purposefully perusing an assortment of stuff. We might even have surfed the good old WWW to bring you some of this. Then again, we might not. But the upshot is that we think we've unearthed some of the most amazing facts.

But, naturally, the Giggle-Factory has no way of knowing whether or not there's any factual basis in the quotes, below. All we do is present them. You decide.

"What f*cking iceberg? and "Where's all that f*cking water coming from?" Captain, SS Titanic.

"Oh no. Not f*cking penalties again." England football team manager.

"It doesn't f*cking vork." Adolf Hitler to natural gas salesman.

" Of course the f*cking fire extinguishers work." Houston control to Apollo 1.

"Bowl the f*cker slower. And f*cking bowl it underarm. Any England cricket player.

"No f*cker 'll know." PresidentClinton: President Nixon.

"I thought every f*cker knew that." Einstein.

"Bollocks. It's f*cking bullet proof." Ned Kelly.

"Yeh. Brilliant. Lets have a f*cking Bar-B." Marie Antionette.

"It f*cking looks just like you." Picasso to a portrait client.

"You useless f*cker. They're f*cking burned." King Harold's missus.

"You useless f*cker. They're not f*cking cooked." Harold's baking attempt #2: King Harold's missus.