Because they don't get an a***hole until they get married.

**********

Have you heard about the sexual position called The Rodeo?
You take your wife / girlfriend from behind.
Then you tell her your fantasy about your best mate's wife.
Then you see how long you can stay on.....

**********

A bloke picked up a prostitute. He asked the price and she replied £30. The bloke said that he liked it a bit kinky and would she oblige for another £10. The pro' agreed so they went back to her place to do business.

The guy insisted on having the lights out and her laying on the bed stark naked. There was silence for a while and the prostitute wondered what was going on. Then she heard grunting noises coming from the far corner of the room and believed her customer's kinky habit involved self gratification.

"That's it. Said the man. "Finished."
"But I thought you said you like it kinky?"
"I do," he replied, "I've just had a sh*t in your handbag."

**********

It was Bob-a-Job week and the Boy Scout was out looking for work to earn money. Passing the church he asked the verger if he'd any work. Seeing the opportunity to get the Scout to do all the jobs that he'd been too lazy to do, he set the lad to work.

After three hours the Scout had mowed the lawn, cut the hedges, washed the car and weeded the rose bed.

Knackered, with all jobs well done, he went to be paid.

"You've done an excellent job. Well done." Said the verger, giving the young lad a shiny new 5p piece.

"Thank you, virgin."

"Virgin? You mean verger."

"No I don't. I know I tight c**t when I see one."

**********
 

Stop going out with her.

**********

Two farmers were walking through the fields when one turned to the other and said: "Just over there was where I had my first sexual experience. And over by that tree was where her mother stood."
"Her mother!" retorted the second. "What did she have to say about that?"
'Baaaaaa.'