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I AM A COW
I am a cow
I live in a field
Where the grass is green and the flowers bloom
But it is a field of death
A death of pain at your murdering hands
The hands that deal a cruel fate in the poker game of farming life
Farm. Farm. Farm.
HARM
I am a cow
You catapult me through a factory and I land on spinning knives
The knives cut me into chops and land in the mouths of tiny children
I don't feel sad because I'm stupid and I don't have any emotions
OR DO I?
No one knows
Well, I know, because I am sad
But so might you be if someone had just eaten your Mum
Oh, where is the love? Where is the love?
Where? Where? Where?
WAR
I am a sheep
You laugh at me
You laugh at my stupid face
You laugh at my silly legs
You laugh at my pathetic wool
You nail me to the middle of the road
And run me over with a lorry, just for a laugh
Then you scoop up my buggered remains
And that's what haggis is
Animal! Animal! Animal!
CANNIBAL
I am a pig
You shoot me in the head until I am unconscious
Then you mince me into shreds and pipe me back into my own skin
Then you place me in a soft bap and eat me for your breakfast with eggs and wine
Unless you're Jewish, in which case you don't
And I don't think Muslims eat me either
I don't know
I'll have to check that before I read this out in public
You eat me for your dinner
You eat me for your tea
You eat me on the beaches
You eat me in the sea
I am a fish
I am sick of having pigs eaten near me
I am a dog - They eat me in China
You might think that's wrong, but you eat sheep and cows, you racist!
I am a camel
I live in Arabia
I don't know if they eat me there or not
But if they do, they probably eat
My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps
I am a fly
Only loonies eat me
I don't taste very nice unless you're crackers, or a frog
But it still hurts!
OWWW!
Oh, how I wish I could make this bad world disappear
And replace it with another one based on politeness and vegetables
But I don't know the magic word
Is it Abracadabra?
Or ABRACADABATTOIR?
1-2-3-4! We don't want your fucking meat!
5-6-7-8! We don't want your fucking meat either!
I am a cow!
I am a fly!
MOO!
BZZZ!
I hope you choke on me!!
Words by Waen Shepherd 2006
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