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Kidney Piper
By the old bandstand at the end of the street A dirty old man stands in the fog and the sleet Playing songs on instruments made of meat
He tries to play Greensleeves on the beef clarinet You count yourself lucky if you ain't heard it yet Sounds a bit like someone blowing through beef
"Alleluia" The kids sing to ya
"Come, come, come to my slum" Sang the kidney piper through a slab of mutton "Come, come, come to my slum Where the kids dress in meat rags and so does their Mum"
"Alleluia" The kids sing to ya
Mom and Dad don't seem to give much of a fig While the mucky man mesmerises the minds of the kids And leads 'em all off in a rapturous jig
Flings 'em in a dungeon, chains 'em up in a line Forces 'em to dig up raw meat from his mine And uses it to construct vast pyramids
"Alleluia" The kids sing to ya
"Come, come, come to my slum" Sang the kidney piper through an octopus lung "Come, come, come to my slum Where the kids will eat sheep's heads and so will their Mum"
"Alleluia" The kids sing to ya
I don't think I understand it myself, stand it myself Sounds like just a noisy racket to me But the kids seem to like it It could be an age thing Or some kind of dog whistle frequency
To me It sounds Like this: (an ugly sound occurs)
But to the kids But to the kids It sounds It sounds like this:
"Come, come, come to my palace of chocolate Where you can eat sweeties all day And you can stay up and watch telly all night And Santa will bring Christmas toys all the time And no one will force you to learn anything And no one will make you eat parsnips for tea And I won't make you toil in my terrible mine Forever Ever Ever Ever"
Words by Waen Shepherd 2006 Copyright Control Released on "Beef Scarecrow" GLSCD004
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