My Doggie Mum and Dad met when they were both languishing in the local dog pound. They fell in love, had a fling, and me, three brothers and one little sister was the result!
Fortunately the local rescue society took us and looked for nice kind homes for us all. Mum told us this must have been our lucky day!
She also said when a human comes to look at you do not rush forward but do not hang back either. Trot over and look your cutest and you may be lucky and get picked! Humans think they can tell how we are going to turn out on first acquaintance but we can fool them as most of them are gullible when it comes to puppies!
Mum was right. My human took one look at my sweet little face and that was it! Of course, if they had never owned a Jack before I would have the advantage!
She said that us pups had to start training our humans as soon as we could so when I was collected and taken to my new house I bore this in mind.
No one had not warned me though how scary the outside world was. All that space, and what WAS that noisy metal thing they carried me into to take me home in? When we arrived at the new big kennel that was to be my home it did not look so bad. I suddenly felt very sleepy and this human was warm and had a nice smell, I was reminded of my mother, so I cuddled up and decided that this human would be a great substitute for her so I guess I sort of adopted her. This person would be my new mum.
When I woke up I felt that I had to do what a pup has to do, but before I could circle and sniff to get a good spot this new Mum picked me up and dashed out of the house and plonked me down on some spikey green stuff. Of course I had to relieve myself immediately and I saw that she was looking at me and showing all her teeth, not in a cross way but in a friendly way. She looked happy! I now realise that unlike us canines who use our teeth for the exact opposite people have to be in a good mood to show their pearly whites! She then spoke and said 'Ozzie, you are a good boy' Who was this Ozzie? That did not matter I felt I had done the right thing and she scooped me up and took me back inside.
Mum said this word Ozzie again and this time she was holding a dish in her hand. I ran over to investigate and in it was food! I knew I had to eat this as quickly as I could because it might disappear and could be the last I ever had. Dainty eater I am not!
I was feeling a little sleepy again and as I curled up to take a nap Mum picked me up and carried me to where a metal cage had been placed in the room. Inside was a lovely comfy cushion type thing and as I was having trouble keeping my eyes open I lay down on it and was soon dreaming about playtime with my brothers and sister back in the kennels.
When I awoke, you guessed it, I was again subjected to the spikey green stuff ritual! As it happens I did oblige, and not to put too delicate a point on it, with a double event! Mum seemed even more pleased that the first time. Boy, these humans are strange beings. Does not take much to make them happy but obviously what comes out of my rear end does!
Over the next few days I learned that mum showing her teeth in a kindly fashion was called smiling. I continued to train my human to smile although sometimes I had what we call little accidents especially when I got excited. I learnt that she was not happy when I peed on the carpet in the house but estatic when I did it on the spikey green stuff outside. I am a very amiable chap so I decided that if this made her happy then the least I could do was to oblige her in the right place.
Now about this word Ozzie. Every meal time I heard her say this word and she also said it when I was going to get a cuddle or a play. One day she picked me up and said Ozzie, you are a good boy! Ah! The penny had dropped! Ozzie is ME!. Gotcha! Later I learnt that humans have names too! Mum's name was Kay.
I also liked my metal cage because when I wanted to I could escape into it and feel safe and secure. I slept in it from my first night. When I was left for the first time I had protested for some time but as no one came I decided it was best to settle down and sleep, besides I had a cosy woolly thing that smelt of my human Mum to snuggle up to. She had also obligingly put something called paper down at one end of the cage and when I used it in the night she did not seem to mind at all which was just as well as I could not hold it all night until the ritual of the spikey green stuff the next morning!
There was another human living in the house. He was known as the Master of the House. I don't think so! He was even easier to train than Mum. I soon had him playing with me, fighting, sleeping on his lap, giving him begging looks when he was eating and having his undivided attention whenever I wanted!
Now I had got my paws under the table I decided that I would start training my humans very soon and as you will see from the next chapter they were 'pushovers'
Chapter Two. Clickety-Click!
One day Mum called me over to her and in her hand she had a little square box thing. I noticed a bowl on the side with something cut up into little pieces, a strange yellow colour.
She made the box make a click click sound and then she put a little piece of the yellow stuff into my mouth. Yuk, was my first thought and then wow, whatever it was tasted great! I now know this to be called cheese. I was gobsmacked because she kept doing this over and over again. Click click - cheese in mouth! I like this game Mum! Suddenly she stopped. I waited and nothing happened. Thinking she had finished the game I turned away and then I heard this click click again and I immediately looked at her and waited for my treat. This must have been what I was expected to do because she did the smiling thing and gave me the cheese. Easy peasy - click means treat. Next she held the lovely smelly cheese on my nose and slowly moved it backwards towards my tail.
Funny I thought, but I was not about to give up on the cheese so I raised my head to take the cheese and in the process my rump hit the deck! I heard click click and got the reward. We did this over and over and I figured out that I only got the cheese when my bottom was on the floor. Now she started to say a new word when this happened. SIT! O.K. Mum I am a Jack after all, sit means bottom on floor! What's next?
Mum said sit, I did, but this time I did not get the cheese. Instead she put it on my nose and lowered it to the floor between my paws and held on. I sniffed, licked and generally tried to get at it! Nothing worked so it meant really getting down to it, so to speak! I lowered all of me to the floor for a concentrated effort but to my surprise I heard the click click and then she gave me the cheese. Just like that!
We did this many times and slowly I began to realise that when all of me hit the deck this was when I got the click and reward. Eventually I heard the word DOWN! Did not take a brain surgeon to realise that down meant all of me on the floor.
Lessons were over for the day. My Human had learnt a lot from me and I did not want her to overdo things and not find time for play!
We continued daily with our Sit and Down lessons and Mum picked it up very well! One day however, she called me over and put a stiff contraption around my neck. She wore something similar around her neck, so I thought this was the 'norm'. Not content with this she then added a long line to my necklace and started to walk away. Where am I going? I do not like this at all! I wriggled, bucked, went round in circles and generally showed my displeasure at this new event. Dad, help! He was useless and just stood looking. Whatever I did Mum hung onto the other end of the line. When I finally stopped objecting she called me, held out her hand and when I went to investigate I smelt a lovely spicy odour.
This I now know to be sausage! Click click and I got to taste this wonderful stuff!
Then I heard Dad calling Ozzie. He too was holding out his hand and I knew what might be in it!. I turned and ran straight to him, Mum was still holding the line but I did not care. I went to Dad, I got the click and the food!
Over the coming days I got used to the necklace (known as a collar) and the line (known as a lead) and let Mum walk me all over the house with it. Another strange event which seemed to make her happy.
The game I really like the best though is the come to me sessions. Mum will call my name Ozzie and then say come. Ozzie come! I know what is expected because I spy the clicker in her hand and smell something tasty in the vicinity.
I run to her and sure enough it happens. Click and then the treat.
Dad will be in another part of the room and he will say Ozzie come. Turning around on a sixpence as all Jacks can I dash over to him and bingo! It happens again! Click and sausage! Backwards and forward,first going to one and then the other - great fun and worth all the effort! Mum and Dad call this the Recall Game, I call it the money for old rope game!!
On another occasion I was picked up and taken out into the metal contraption known as a car and taken to see another human in a white coat. I had this terrible sense of foreboding but I tried to be friendly. He touched me all over and put a cold shiny thing onto my tummy. Not so bad, but the worst was yet to come. He grabbed my by the scruff of the neck and stuck this needle thing into me. Ouch would be an understatement! Let me out of this torture chamber as quick as you like! Boy did it sting! Why do humans laugh when pups squeak? I do not think it at all funny.
I had to endure this twice more over the coming days and try as I might I could not stop myself trembling every time I was taken there.
I shall never forget my first venture into the outside world. Mum had put my collar and lead on and opened the front door of our home. My first thoughts were let me get at 'em folks but when I got over the doorstep and saw all that SPACE I admit I chickened out and suddenly it did not seem such a good idea. She coaxed me along and so I thought I would take a peek and put on a brave Jack face. Every time I walked along nicely beside her I heard the click and I got something delicious to eat. This took my mind off things and I began to actually enjoy it. Everywhere there were such smells. Lots of spikey green stuff, very tall brown things with bushy things on the top covered in doggie smells at the bottom. I had the urge to relieve myself but I knew where my place was, so I would have to hold it until I got back to my own spikey green stuff.
Coming towards me was another of my kind. It was huge! Black, hairy and walking very slowly. This giant canine was a Newfoundland. Gulp! I drew myself up to my full height and quaking ever so slightly stopped when he stopped and paid my respects. He acknowledged me briefly and moved on. I felt just a little insignificant. I met others on my first outing. Some friendly, some that had me shaking - Mum learnt that day that not all doggies are as amiable as I am!
I was growing up and now I had to train my human to know who should be the pack leader! Let battle commence!
Chapter Three. Whose in charge here anyway?
We canines have this thing we call a pack instinct. We just have to find out where we stand in the order of things. We include our humans in this of course! Having trained my Mum and Dad to a satisfactory standard there came the matter of whose in charge here.
Finding this out meant a battle of wills and I had instinct on my side so I knew just what to do! I considered every place in my large kennel, home to you, to my own property. Mum did not quite see it that way.
Why shouldn't I sleep on the sofa, on the bottom of her bed and wherever else I chose? Mum should be on hand to play with me whenever I wanted and I would give up my toy when I said so! My dinner should be when I demanded it. My guest humans came to visit I should be the one to inspect them and get their attention immediately. Fair enough wouldn't you say? In return I would let my submissive humans respect me and cater to my every need! After all, I am a really lovable little chap and when I turn on the charm, hey suckers!!!!!!!
Unfortunately for me Mum was wise to all my little tricks! You would not believe what she made me do! I had to actually wait for my dinner, and before it got placed in front of me I had to SIT. My toys were collected from all around the floor and hidden in a place where I could not find them! True Mum took one out a couple of times a day and played with me for a while. Great fun but not quite the same as me having the say! When I jumped up on the sofa I got pushed off. Obviously I objected and had a little growl. Oh boy! Not a good idea. I was gripped by the back of the collar and unceremoniously dumped into my OWN dog basket! Worst of all when visitors came I was shut out in the kitchen so I could not get to them! True I was let out eventually but by then all my enthusiasm had disappeared!
I was allowed to sleep in my basket in Mum and Dad's room but the actual bed was now a no-no!
I was made to sit or lie down before I got anything edible or otherwise, whoever said there is no such thing as a free lunch sure got it right! When my humans came back from their hunting trips I was completely IGNORED by both of them and no amount of whining, jumping or the like got their attention. Funny thing though, when I stopped doing all of those things and laid down quietly Mum would call me over and tell me how good I was and give me a lovely stroke!
Walks to the park to see all that lovely spikey green stuff and TREES had me waiting at the door for Mum to go out first and when we came back I had to wait again so that she was the first one through our front door!
What was I teaching Mum? Well I guess she had figured out that she was the best one to be the pack leader and I realised that this was the best option for me as well. Being in charge is not all it is cracked up to be in my opinion! I still let her know when strangers are in the vicinity of our kennel but she seems to like it that way. I would say to all my fellow pooches, give in gracefully, who needs the hastle! Let your human bring home the bacon (metaphorically speaking) I know my place and I am happy to be lower down the pack. Who wants to go grey before their time anyhow? On to my next adventure!
Chapter four. Dances with other dogs.
Mum decided at this time I should meet other pooches and learn to be social! Unfortunately there were no clicker training clubs in our area but she took me along to the local dog training club.
I was a bit nervous and so was Mum I think. We arrived a little late and when we got there classes had already started. Dogs of all shapes and sizes were walking around and around in one big circle. There was a human standing in the middle of all this and suddenly he shouted 'DOGS SIT' in a very loud voice. Then I heard a clanking sound, the lead on all the dogs was held aloft and they all sat! Around each dog's neck was a chain attached to their lead. Of course, I never had any such thing, mine was just an ordinary soft leather one. Mum had a stern expression on her face and was definitely not doing the smiling thing! I heard the human trainer say something about all dogs have to wear a check chain, whatever that was.
Mum went into a huddle with this human and after some discussion we joined in the lesson, she walked me around and around with the other canines and when the human shouted sit she said the word to me, I duly sat, she clicked and treated me and all the other humans and dogs in the room looked at us as if we had just landed from Sirius (the dog star don't you know!) Everyone was very serious and I do not think smiling was allowed because nobody did it.
If any of the other dogs did not obey the idea was to hang them up by the chain on their necks I think. I felt many envious doggy eyes boring into me but in spite of this we continued with the lesson but instead of getting strung up Mum did her usual click and treat thing!
The trainer explained to Mum that checking hard on the chain made the dog do the right thing and I suppose it worked O.K. but I was already thanking my lucky stars I was not wearing one of those contraptions!
I was training my human with a gentle and very rewarding method and I felt sorry for all those other canines who weren't in the know!
We only went the once, Mum decided that we should try another method of getting me to meet other dogs. This was to be something called agility.
Chapter five. Up, up and away!
When we got to the place where agility took place I knew immediately that this was going to be different. I could hear all the barking before we even got inside and when we did I thought I was at a Border Collie convention! There were dozens of them and they were all leaping about on all manner of strange looking things!
These humans were all talking and some were even smiling! No check chains were in evidence but I knew already this was going to be fun! All over humans were running about and shouting things like over, tunnel tunnel, weavies, walk on, see-saw and calling to their dogs all the time! Some had very red faces!
In agility you do lots of running and jumping, you go up high and come down the other side and you go through lovely dark tunnels although I was disappointed there weren't any rabbits in them, but you can't have everything, can you? There was one funny bit where you ran up a plank, waited at the top until the plank tipped down to the ground before you had to get off. However the strangest things of all was lots of poles in the ground. The idea was to go in and out of them and quite frankly I could never see the point of them but in time I did get to enjoy racing Mum to get to the other end.
Best of all when I did things right I got the click and the treat just like at home. I knew that when I heard that sound I was doing just what she wanted and it was going to be worth my while, although I loved agility so much I might have even worked for nothing! Only kiddin!
I looked forward to my outings with Mum to go to agility and we started to become a real team together. Mum could have done with four legs like me as she had trouble keeping up at times but I forgave her. After all she is only a human!
The next step after this was going out for the day to strange places and doing this agility in big parks. When we arrived at our first place, I now know this is called a 'show', I have never seen so many other dogs in all my life. All sorts, but as usual , yep, border collies, border collies and more border collies! Some of them were very friendly, others did not like me one little bit and more than once I felt their hot doggy breath before Mum pulled me away to safety! Nothing was going to put me off agility and of course being human is also no guarantee of a nice nature I have found out!
Mum was behaving a little odd. She stuck a paper on the front of her jumper with a number on it and we got into a long line of other dogs similar in size to me! This was the queue to get our chance to have a go. Finally we were in the front of the line. She took off my collar and lead completely which was unusual, but no matter!
A human said something like 'in your own time' Mum yelled and off we went down a line of jumps. I was just turning the corner when I saw this other human examining my every move closely and they were in the same space as us! Hey, who are you? I stopped and trotted over to them to investigate further. They just stared ahead and did not say a word. It was then I heard Mum calling me in a very high pitched and agitated manner. O.K. I'm coming! We did a lot more things and then we stopped. I had my collar and lead put on again and I could tell something was definitely wrong! Mum was very quiet. Hey! What did I do? Suddenly she looked at me and thank goodness, she smiled! Speaking softly I heard her say 'Well, Oz, not bad but we can do better next time'
Now listen up! That space where we do our thing is called a ring. That human watching us is something called a judge. And as I now know there is always one of them in the ring with us I just let them watch! After all I am a very handsome little chap!
All during the nice hot days we got into what I now know is called a car and went to lots of shows in lots of different places. I really loved doing this agility. I think Mum loved it too! Now at the end of the day we would both called up to be presented with a round ribbon with strings. One know-it-all border collie told me it was called a rosette! This became a regular occurrence and soon Mum and me had lots of them stuck on a wall at our kennel! By the way I think our kennel is called a HOME.
One day after all the nice warm days and when it was starting to be quite cold, we all got into our car, yes even Dad, and went on quite a long trip! When we got there I heard Mum say a strange word, sounded like Grufts or Crufts, anyway you have never seen so many dogs in all your life. All shapes and sizes and this time Border Collies were not in the majority! I think nearly all the humans in the world were there too! It was inside a enormous kennel, but I had never felt such an atmosphere before. Made the hair stand up on my back! The noise was awesome!
When Mum pinned the paper with the number onto her top I knew what was going to happen! Agility! But hey Mum, what is the matter with you? I could sense something different with her. She was not like she usually was. I did not like it all! Look Mum if your bottle goes, so does mine! We love agility don't we? When she sat down on a row of box like things which were all over the place I jumped up and gave her a comforting lick on the nose! Then she said, Oz you are quite right! We are here to do our best and enjoy it most of all! Suddenly I sensed she had changed and I knew I could relax too! Phew! Close call!
When our turn came I trotted in with Mum to do our thing - then I noticed all the hundreds of humans all watching us. Hey, I thought isn't there only supposed to be one judge? Then I got a soothing stroke as my collar and lead was removed and I forgot everything except the fun that lay before me! We set off and we both lost ourselves in the game! When we got to the end there was a stupendous loud noise which was made by all the watching humans clapping their hands together.
When we got out of the agility place I got a lovely piece of my favourite sausage and I could tell Mum was pleased. Funny that, because we did not get one of those rosettes that day! I did hear Mum say to Dad 'not bad for our first Crufts, at least we got round' What did she expect me to do, I am a Jack Russell after all!
That's all for now folks! I am going to get started on the next chapter which will be called 'star quality' and will be all about what happened when I got involved in the dog eat dog world of show business. Training humans in the performing arts is pretty eventful as you will find out when I tell all!!!!! Woof!
CHAPTER 6. Preparing for my career in show biz!
About this time Mum starting playing new games with me using the clicker to do all sorts of strange things. Hello, I thought who is training who here? After thinking about it I decided I would humour her and joined in with enthusiasm.
First she would hold a piece of food up to her eyes and say WATCH ME. When I obliged and stared back at her she would click and treat. I loved watching her anyway so this came naturally to me. You can learn so much about your human by watching their every move!
Now when I barked Mum would say SPEAK and give a funny hand signal. This went on every time I made a noise! I must admit it took a little longer than usual for the penny to drop so to speak (no pun intended) but eventually I realised my bark was known as a speak to a human. Eventually she stopped saying the word speak and only gave the hand signal but she could not fool me! This hand signal meant BARK. I duly obliged! Woof!
Next I had to go and stand on a square of carpet and for some reason Mum starting making it smaller and smaller until I could only just get my dainty two front paws on it! This was called a MARK.
I was positively encouraged to chase my own tail, which I loved doing anyway and got a click and a treat for that as well. Mum would say CHASE YOUR TAIL and of course I would always oblige.
I has 'sussed' out that if I sat in front of her and then went back on my hind legs still with my bottom on the floor, hung my paws neatly in front of me looking really appealing this would get a favourable response. I liked doing this because I was back to training my human. Mum clicked and treated me every time! The name of this was a BEG.
Then there was the TOUCH game. Mum had a wooden stick thing and I got a click and reward for touching it with my nose. Not hard really. She asked me to touch all sorts of objects, and being so smart I did. Not my favourite one this!
We had great fun though and I learnt how to do something called a ROLLOVER - again easy peasy! Something not so easy was getting up on my hind legs and walking backwards. Mum would get my dinner bowl and hold it up high and when I tried to get a look at it by getting up on my back legs she would move forwards and I had to go backwards for a few steps until she finally put it down in front of me. Sometimes it had something in it others not! Funny old game this!
Being a Jack I could hold anything in my mouth. In fact when I get really excited I just have to have something, anything in my pearly whites. Humans seem to think this wrong and Mum has spoken to me in a cross voice saying 'calm dog stupid dog' now as you will all know stupid I am not! A little hyper, well maybe! Anyway on with the story.
The most fun I had was the hanging on game. Once I clamped my jaws on something I just loved to grit my teeth and growl. Mum would then click and I would let go because how else was I going to get the treat in my mouth? More of this please! I now knew the word HOLD meant hang on until clicked. Next when I heard the click she would say LEAVE. O.K. I get it now! Hold - hang on, leave - let go. Although I did what she asked I always thought holding much more fun than leaving!
The best of all was the trouser leg game. Mum was wearing a funny old pair of trousers and on the outside of one was a big hole with a piece of material hanging out. She called me over, dangled the material in front of me and said Ozzie hold! Yes Mum of course. I grabbed it with gusto and pulled and pulled. I managed to get it away so far and then I would feel it being pulled back. I think she was responsible but I did not care, I loved this game. The more I growled and pulled the more she said 'go on Oz, hold'. Over a few days the piece of material got shorter and shorter. One day it had all but disappeared so in desperation I grabbed the actual bottom of the trousers! Well I never, Mum went bonkers! She gave me a whole handful of treats and kept saying 'what a good boy'. You do not need to be a brain surgeon to work out that this was the whole idea of the game. Hang onto that trouser leg! Just let me at it!
These were all good games but I now realise my human was preparing me for some of the things I had to do when I got into the world of acting! All will be revealed later!