Berties' Bits

Words of wisdom from an old dog

When his man is indulging in a tender moment - even with a pig - the well-bred dog will discretely turn his back to give them a moment of privacy.  
You can tell a dog who thinks, from the company he keeps...



Discreetly protuding the tongue, the dog with a well-cultivated gustatory sense can compensate for diminished eyesight.  
Good taste makes up for bad eyesight.



Out of kindness, the noble dog should always feign intense interest in the ramblings of small children.  
Better to be talked at than stroked by this one.


A slight paunch aids stability.  
In ancient times, dogs taught this trick to the meercats.


A family dog must throw himself in to the party spririt during the festive season.  
Wise dogs learn to live with mild humiliations.


While the rest of the family enjoy their holiday, sitting around on stone walls in Yorkshire, the diligent dog maintains his watch; keeping a look out in case of surprise attacks by marauding moles.  
Not sleeping.  Merely being vigilant in a downward direction.



Mastering hypnotism (note the eyes) enables a dog to obtain some of life's small luxuries, like getting a small girl to cheerfully act as pillow and duvet.  
This ain't Hollywood: around here, it's the good dog gets the girl.


The truly noble dog faces Summer and Winter, rain or shine, with the same attitude.  Outward events do not affect his inner calm.  


The art of the sleeping dog is to keep one ear out.