The scent of a w taste of honey

Back to the main page

Where you can buy proper heated blended honey from. None of that namby-pamby unmixed stuff here.

My personal collection of apiary porn, accrued over the years — hardcore hives, explicit extractions, and rapeseed you can only fantasize about

Email address and telephone for availability of honey plus diary.

How I get the best possible tasting honey by mixing all of the different tastes together. This picture of a viaduct has no relevance to this web site, by the way.

My name is John Pollard. I have been a small-scale honey pusher for nearly 35 years.

The place where bees are milked is called an apiary.

In traditional beekeeping, bees would be hand-milked in the hive. This was, naturally enough, a tricky business because the teats on a bee are very small indeed. Moreover, the honey would get cold as it was carried, in honey pails, from the hive back to where it was processed.

Modern beekeepers have milking sheds for the bees. In the morning and the evening, the bees are trained to fly into the milking shed, where modern miniaturized bee milking equipment milks the bees for their honey and immediately transports it to the heating vats, leaving it no chance to cool down.

Just as Birds Eye fresh frozen peas are frozen directly when picked, good quality honey is kept piping hot right from the point where it is milked from the bee to when it arrives at your door in a pot.

Leprechauns are addicted to the taste of honey.

Being that much smaller than human beings, they have no trouble getting their hands around bee teats in order to milk them. Many a beekeeper has come to his hive, pail in hand, only to find that a passing leprechaun with "a bit of a thirst on, bigorrah" had milked every single bee in it completely dry.

In order to defend against leprechauns, many beehives are surrounded by barbed wire and nettles, as you can see in the picture here.

Some leprechauns, especially the pole-vaulting leprechauns from East China, can counter such defences. The beehives pictured here are protected by more modern defences, including invisible infra-red detectors that drive automatically-guided laser cannon (mounted on the cleared ground just to the left of the shot in order to have a clear field of fire whatever direction the leprechauns approach from).

The large tree behind the hive in the centre of the picture is actually a camouflaged anti-leprechaun machine gun emplacement, that a beekeeper can hide within and man 24 hours per day during times of high leprechaun activity.