Appendix 9
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A Wren sees the Admiral, with a piece of paper in his hand, standing by the classified document shredder.
Admiral:                 "Do you know how to work this thing?  My Secretary has left for the day, and I
                                have no idea how to run it”.
Wren:                     "Yes sir".
She turns on the machine, takes the paper from the Admiral and feeds it in.
Admiral:                "Thank you, I only need one copy".



Captain;                “Paint on my hands again Number One”.
1st Lieutenant:    “Where from sir?”
Captain:                “Bridge ladder, Number One”.
1st Lieutenant:    “But the bridge ladder has not been painted for three months sir”.
Captain:                “Why not?”
1st Lieutenant     “Er, yes sir”.



OOW:                     “I say Lookout, what do you estimate the range of visibility to be?”.
Lookout:               “About ninety three million miles sir, I can see the Sun”.
OOW:                     “Ah yes, I  suppose I asked for that. Droll, very droll”.



Army officer approaches and, true to the Naval Tradition of "No Saluting indoors", our hero's nod as they pass each other.
Army officer:        "Don't you Navy Types compliment an Officer when passing".
Navy Types:        "Oh, sorry sir.  Nice trousers",  and wend their way to the Bar.



Sparks was on the helm of a Submarine, when the Officer on the Conning Tower screams down the voice pipe,
                                 "Who is the thick sh*t on the end of this voice pipe?”.
Sparks:                  "Which end sir?" .

A collection of Humour in Uniform, trawled from various sites on the Internet.  And, whereas I cannot vouch for their veracity, my past experience leads me to believe that they all possess a grain of truth.