A Complicated Breakfast Order

A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head

waiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile.

"Good Morning sir. What a wonderful morning.

I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked that it is runny,

and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat.

Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on

the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon

as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the freezer

so that it's impossible to spread;

and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."

"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It

might be quite difficult, I don't think we serve food like this."

The guest replied, "Oh? I don't understand -- that's what I got

yesterday!"

A Civil Servant dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds

himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band.  Saint Peter

runs over, shakes his hand and says "Congratulations!!!"

"Congratulations for what?" asks the Civil Servant.

"Congratulations for what?!?!?" says Saint Peter. "We're

celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old."

"But that's not true," says the Civil Servant.  "I only lived to be forty."

"That's impossible," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your timesheets."

Rocky Mountain Oysters

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing.

While sipping his sangria, he noticed a

sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.

Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He

asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste!

Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning.  A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted, said,

"What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day

because there is only one bull fight each morning.

If you come early tomorrow and place your order,

we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening

he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. 

After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter,

he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious,

but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied,

"Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

Cooking Hints & Tips

Scottish Poetry

Woodland Trust

Monthly Recipe

New Members Introduction

New Flower Pictures