Q: What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
A: One makes your day, the other makes your hole weak.

Q: What's the definition of a glass bra?
A: Smash 'N' Grab.

Q: Why is a test tube baby happier than a normal baby?
A: Because it has a womb with a view.

The following ditties were kindly sent in
by Fruitcake, a friend from the Opcom forum :-)

Mary had a little lamb,
She was slightly taken aback.
But not as much as the mid-wife
Who had a heart attack.

Little Miss Muffet fell off her tuffet;
She'd put a shed-load of booze away
There's nowt like a skinful
When you're feelin' sinful,
But she din't half regret it next day.