Fingering Felix


FINGERING FELIX - in his own words
*A present for Richard Felix:* *We've had a whip-round, and bought a present for you, Richard.* *It's something we know you need, so we're sure you'll be pleased with it.* *Can you guess what's inside?* *Here are some clues...*


December 2003		Location: the hub Felix: Well, he said Knox, but you know, all the accounts we've got say Knot, but it could be wrong. The name could have been Knox, bec... Bull: Sorry, the name otherwise is ..? Felix: He said Knox K-N-O-X, rather than K-not. But who's right? Is Derek right, and are the books wrong? I don't know. .Bull: Are they, Richard? Richard Jones: Er... er... I would say there's a tradition of them being called Knot, but again, it's very close, Knot, Knox, there is a closeness there.
MORAL If you claim to be a historian, it's safer to believe the history books, before a medium
12 March 2005		Location: Lupton House, Brixham Ciaran: Would psychometry help? Touching the walls? Or.. Acorah: It may do Yvette: It won't help a séance though Ciaran: No Felix: If you called his name, Derek, would that help? I think the leader's name would be Charles Hayne. (long pause) Yvette: Well, let... you can't do ... you've got to ... you have to say that, Richard... Felix: Shall I? Yvette: No, not on air. I mean you can ... go on... go on... you can do it ... go on... Acorah: (indistinct)... Charles Felix: I just thought I was helping him... Yvette: Well you shouldn't Felix: It's just as this stage I didn't think there was any problem...
12 March 2005		Location: The Folly, Lupton House, Brixham The 1915 penny had just been 'thrown' at Stu and hit him on the left side of his head. Felix: I think the big thing that worries me is that it comes right at the end of a very boring... nothing's happened... lo and behold... look what suddenly happens .. and that's phenomenal, it's fantastic, but it's back to the old business, you know, of ... Yvette: The only thing we can say is, it wasn't actually on air. Felix: No, it wasn't on air... Yvette: Yeah, if you were gonna do it... if you were gonna fake it... you would make sure it was done on air, not off air. Felix: We're back to the old, old thing. If I, or any of us, believe that any of us is doing that on purpose, or faking it, then as far as I'm concerned, I'll walk now. Yvette: Well, exactly. Exactly. Well, exactly. That's how we all feel. Because we know ... we know what the people at home will think ...
MORAL Don't say things you might regret on camera
8 May 2005 MORAL Walls have ears!		Location: Gate Studios, Elstree Felix: They've got me... they've actually go me on... er... er... on film, saying that if I er... that if I find that any of this is rigged, I'll walk.
3 September 2005		Location: Rose Cottage, Barnes Hospital Sound of smashing light bulb Felix: Let me out of this bloody place. Stu: It was a light bulb! Felix: Oh... isn't that ... Now there's a socket up here... a bulb socket here... Karl: You checked that was in... Felix: I checked that ... and I swear to you Karl, there was not a light bulb in there. I've been up there. I done that... checked there was nothing could fall out of it. It didn't come from there. Oh my .... Stu: No, no, that's enough for me Karl: But it went like... there were a couple of noises first, and then it went Felix: I dunno... it wasn't... I checked the floor, you checked the floor Karl: Yep, there was nothing in here at all Stu: Well, in your defence... (interruption from outside)
MORAL Always ensure every member has the same script.		Stu: Karl, when I came in, I actually saw the light bulb in there, because when we were checking for various things weren't we? You know, like that pipe, things in the corner. Richard was looking at that bulb. Felix: Well, I was checking that to make sure nothing was loose, and I done that, and nothing was loose... nothing was loose. Karl: There was no bulb in there when we came in... that's the ... and so er.. er.. er.. a bulb has come from somewhere Felix: Yeah, but from where? Oh, come on... I mean... Karl: But there's no way it can be thrown in. I have to admit ... it... it... my initial reaction is ..I put my Ciaran head on... Felix: Yeah Karl: My initial reaction is there must be a hole here somewhere ... Felix: Yea, there isn't Karl: .. or one of us has kicked it ... Felix: Yeah, but we checked the floor Karl: We checked the floor Felix: And the second thing is ... and let's be really realistic about this, none... none of the three of us ... because that's what Joe Public will think... none... any of us three has walked in here with a light bulb in their hands. Karl: How can you? Felix: Oh, come off it. I've been waving my arms about like I always do... Karl: You've been on camera Felix: And so, yeah, yeah... magic trick ... yeah Stu: Pull it in a bit Richard.. Felix: Sorry Karl: And the other thing is.. is in effect... you wouldn't ... you wouldn't put a light bulb in a pocket Felix: With your legs? I'm not being funny but one of us would have an unsightly bulge Karl: Hm.. yeah, that's right. Felix: I mean, light bulbs don't go in pockets very easily... Karl... No, they don't Felix: I don't know ....

Yes Richard, these boots are made for walking, and that's just what you said you'd do.

Now that the proverbial has hit the fan, will you have the courage of your convictions and walk and talk?

We're all waiting ...

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