AN EVENING WITH
DEREK ACORAH  
 

 

 
 by Squirrel

 

 

 

'An evening with Derek Acorah'

Felixstowe, took place on

24 September 2005

and this report  is reproduced here by the kind permission of the author.

Comments below by the author

 

 

As I waited for my friend on the steps of the theatre, I was able to observe the rest of the audience arriving and was amazed at how young they all seemed. There were lots of couples as well as many groups of girls and there were also many young men.

 

I was expecting the audience to consist of mostly middle-aged women, so that was my first surprise of the night.

 

The theatre was almost full, as far as I could tell.  There was however, a block of about ten empty seats directly across the aisle from me, of which more later.

 

Derek appeared on stage to loud applause. Speaking through one of those dinky little ear-supported microphones, he launched into his spiel, I caught phrases such as “the right-hand side of perfection”, “time and speed”; whether these phrases meant or referred to anything, I doubt we will ever know.

 
 

 

Get In First Derek!

 

Had we seen him on Most Haunted Live, announcing his departure? 

 

Oh Yes…
 
Yup, he actually called him that.

 

Well, it was his decision to quit, persuaded by Richard Wolfe “A Spiritual Warrior”.

 

Haunted mansions and castles have had their day; there are only so many of them.  Much more exciting is his new show concept. Four investigations per show. PLUS…Sam gets a decent part after years as a bit-part actor. Apparently, as they are driving around, Sam will tell them to stop and Derek and Daniella will do a Spiritual Door-step Challenge.
 
Good to see Sam hasn’t lost his touch.

 

 To a gust of laughter, Derek recounted how one poor woman, on being faced with this pair, whipped a crucifix off her hall wall and chased them down the garden path….
 

Derek did six readings, of which three were not taken up by anybody, one was surprisingly accurate and two were the usual vague ramblings. I have selected two to demonstrate the tone of the evening.

 

 

 

Down to Business.

 

 

This surprised me, as I had expected him to be very vague

 

 After chatting with Sam, Derek comes up with a spirit lady with an attitude of late 60’s, she died four or five years ago of an embolism in her head or her kidneys. He gives a name; Catherine Burgess.
 
 

 

He said she was coming through to someone at the back of the theatre, and was immediately taken up by a woman who had a Liverpool accent. This woman gave the name Kathleen Burgess, which was close enough.

 

He then leapt off stage and ran up to the back where the woman was sitting.

 

He gave the name Tommy,

Yes one of mum’s friends, now dead.

 

Mary, Alice and Mo?

Mums sisters

 

Jimmy Mac?

Tommy’s brother.

 

Little boy, tragedy?

not taken

 

Nelly?

Yes, Aunty Nell, from Kirby

 

Teddy or Eddy Andrews, prefab building?

yes working men’s club, he was the local drunk.

 

Naked foot?

Yes that related to her dad

 

Liverpool Docks?

Yes dad was a docker

 

Cilla Black?

Mums favourite singer

 

Annie Faulkner

No

 

Check back, she was a money lender.

Oh yes I remember
 

As Derek made his way back onstage, I recall looking up from my notebook and thinking that so far it was quite impressive.
    He then told the woman that she was getting over a broken relationship, she should start afresh and go forward, then he broke into “Love is all Around” and did a little caper round the stage, told Teddy or Eddy that they were drunk and no they couldn’t come forward and sing.
HUH?

 

He then told the woman that Micky wanted to be remembered to her

Oh yes he’s my next-door neighbour
 

 

 

Derek, Do your Worst

 

Derek got the spirit of a little boy-child, Michael. This little lad had been knocked down by a car and killed.

 

Derek then leapt off stage and cantered up my aisle. I was busy scribbling away when I suddenly realised that he hadn’t gone past me and was in fact standing right next to me watching me write. Luckily my writing is so bad; even I’m having trouble reading it.
 

 

  

 

 

How tenuous a link was that?  Some people are so desperate; it makes me angry when, instead of letting the subject drop, he compounds it by his next statement. I felt for all the bereaved parents who would have gone home thinking of their child, traumatised for eternity, because they hadn’t been able to reach them

 

A woman two rows in front of me put up her hand and asked if it could be Michelle as she had lost a daughter two years previously. Derek was sure it was a boy, but had the little girl been run over?  No, relied the woman, but the doctor had said the meningitis that killed her had been akin to being hit by a truck.

 

Derek then said that if nobody took up the child then he would be traumatised for eternity. He was being looked after by the Sisters of Mercy.

 

Still nobody takes him up, so Derek explained how guilty he felt for not pinpointing the mother, whose name he claimed was Donna.

 

 

 

I found this segment of the show to be in extremely dubious taste, as did lots of people sitting around me

 

I’m scribbling away, Derek’s still watching me and trying to come up with a brainwave to get him out of this muddle, when, Wham, he points to the empty seats across from me and says, "She must have be due to sit there."  He’ll get the theatre staff to check it out.

 

 

 

You’ve let me down, Sam.

 

Apart from Sam not realising that Donna wasn’t in the theatre; he made a few other bloopers that had Derek declaring himself to be “the sweatiest pig in Europe”

 

One elderly gentleman after a hit and miss reading was told that his wife loved car boot sales. The man was bewildered, “no she hated them”

He was assured that now she loves them in the world of spirit.

 

He told one woman (who had latched on to her Aunt’s brother-in-law,) that her daughter would live until she was eighty-seven. This daughter was being looked after by angels and would become a psychic.

 Mother was also told that she didn’t need laser eye surgery.

Well, that must be for my sister, who has just had one eye done.

 

There, I never thought I’d say that.

 

Actually, there weren’t that many mistakes.  There was a take-up rate of about 50% of his utterances, which I thought was quite impressive, even though most were vague. He does have a habit of looking at his watch when a reading goes belly-up, though.

 

There were a few healings, with the laying on of hands after Derek had finally found the right body part

 

There was one pregnancy announced; a baby girl was to be born to a young couple on December 7th, weighing 7lb 1oz on Thursday early evening. 

 

Joy and heartbreak in a couple of sentences.

 

The same couple were also informed that their dog had been sick. They said it had been poisoned but that it was fine now. Derek insisted that the dog had a blockage and would die unless they got him straight to an emergency vet.

 

 

 

Leave Them wanting More

 

Derek Acorah is extremely good at what he does.

 

I have tried to analyse what I saw that evening, because for a time I was confused.

 

The tone of the evening was set with the nice little anecdotes to give the impression we were in on a little secret before the rest of the world is told.

 

The first reading was “accurate” in that everything was taken up by the subject. The subject could have been a plant, or she might have done what I said I’d do if he had come to me and that is accept everything and have a good laugh afterwards. The only other explanation that I can think of is that he is really receiving messages from dead people.

 

By the end of this reading, the theatre was bathed in an aura of love. Oh how we wanted Derek to do well (well not me!).  He really does have a stage presence, so we were able to overlook his little inaccuracies. When he came out for part two, the crowd swooned at his lilac suit and shiny shoes.

 

I don’t know whether he reads reviews such as the others on this site, because I found his use of language to be almost normal, not a lot of his psychicbabble. There was very little “please forgive me” “in the spirit state” “Kindred beings” and so forth.

 

I found it very touching that people had given him gifts and that he was displaying them on a table on the stage, a huge packet of tissues and a bunch of flowers, presumably to stop his water glass shooting off the table

 

At on point near the end, he apologised for dribbling.  (Oh he’s so human and humble,  is our Derek.) A very interesting evening, although I didn’t think I could stomach the meet and greet session.

All in all, I have come away with my view of Derek to be unchanged, in that I consider him to be a fake (albeit a rather charming one).


By the way, his aftershave is rather nice.

 

 

 

©2005 Squirrel

doublexposure.co.uk

 

 


 

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