Marshmallow Teacakes and Twisted Metal
 by Squirrel

An Evening with Colin Fry

This article was written for Double Exposure by Squirrel, who holds the copyright.


A glorious evening, sitting outside the theatre, sipping red wine, watching the sun set over the sea. I was so looking forward to this, I’d never seen a medium on stage before, I had no first hand knowledge of cold reading, and was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The theatre was packed, and I was amazed at the variety of people, I had imagined it to be full of “ladies of a certain age”. There was a lot of young people and a fair few men.


Colin Fry bounded on stage and proceeded to give the audience his set speech as he did in Sweden (see article by Anne O’ Nymous)

He is a small shiny man in a small shiny suit and has the squarest hands I have ever seen. I could not stop comparing him to a mole.

The Show began, we settled back in our seats and waited for the evening to unfurl

I was quite impressed until I considered how many people are having some sort of work done at home at any one time. It’s also normal for new plaster to crack.


Surely Mum would know if she had grandchildren?


Margaret…. came through to speak with her daughter  Colin said that Mother was telling him “John the Plasterer”, did the daughter know who he was?


Was she having work done at home?

Yes, an extension, plastered last week. 

There’s a problem with the plaster on the window- sill. It’s cracked.
No, its fine, a wooden sill has been put on
Well get in touch with John, because its going to crack all the way down the wall

Why is she saying peanut butter?

I don’t know

Have you got children?

Yes but they don’t like it. I like it

That’s it then.

But I don’t eat it

I felt that Fry was on the verge of asking if they were even dead.

This took a while for the woman to relate to, but she was so keen we were willing her on, even though she barely knew the woman.


Came through with Dennis, Dawn or Doreen Taylor .

Woman leaps up. She is being egged on by her friends.

My brother in law is Dennis and my sister in law is Doreen.

Fry asks is it Taylor?

No, they weren’t related.

I’m getting a stomach problem

Dennis’s widow suffers from something, but she won’t take her tablets.

Dennis then tells the woman to make the widow take the tablets


The next chap didn’t give any feedback at all and so was a very short reading.

I was getting the hang of this by now and realised that he would make a guess, then a suggestion. When contradicted, he would re-emphasise his guess, so that the impression would be left that he had made a hit. He did this again straight away.  

The next victim (an extremely well dressed and groomed lady): Had granny come through to remind the lady about the time someone got lost at the seaside?



No Southend.

Yes that’s right, the seaside.

Granny said the granddaughter had been shopping for shoes on Saturday,

No, Sunday.

Yes shopping.  Well Granny said that the pink shoes she’d been looking at were gone.

This was very uncomfortable to sit through, especially when the chap got emotional at the end.

Next came a deeply embarrassing encounter with a young man, His granddad was saying that his (Granddad’s) medals needed cleaning. It emerged that this lad was so estranged from his family that he knew nothing about his grandfather or even if he was alive or dead. Fry said that Granddad was proud of him for trying to turn his life around. The young man was embarrassed and said that no-one had ever said that to him before.

Time for a break

As we sat outside with another glass of wine, this time admiring the single strand of light bulbs that comprise the Felixstowe Illuminations I reflected on what we had seen and what was to come. I had a strange sick feeling and felt grubby, (though this could have been caused by sitting on a wall, drinking plonk)  



Back to the show.

Fry opens the second half by giving a little talk on cold reading and says that “All mediums are psychic but not all psychics are mediums” What can he mean?

He then explains that usually at this point in the evening, he did Questions and Answers, but he now found it better to answer questions at the end of the show, in the bar. Pity, that, I was going to ask him to give us a tune on his trumpet.

By now the audience round me was getting restless; lots of sighing, twitching, eye rolling etc…… In our little corner of the universe, he had lost his audience.  

He decided to give an aura reading to a lady in a wheelchair. When asked why she was wearing all black, she simply said that she found it slimming .

It was a silly little segment, brought to a close when he abruptly came through with the woman’s mother. Mother said that the bad times were going to get better. Unfortunately the woman gave him so much information that the reading was worthless


Without intending to stereotype, she did look like a woman that holidays in Florida




This was hilarious.


Whew, thank heavens for that, I thought Fry was going to miss out there.


A woman leapt up to claim her step-father…. Fry asserts that he was killed in a car crash…
Well, no, but it was machinery…
Yes, yes, I could see twisted metal and assumed it was a car.
 He said that she would have to take care of her money, then asked if she was going to Florida. She sniffed and replied that it was unlikely if she couldn’t get hold of her money.

Hilda then came through for her daughter and granddaughter. Fry was having trouble getting the daughter to shut up.
Hilda said that there was a problem with a doorstop.
Daughter didn’t understand what a doorstop was, but accepted it.
Fry asked if anyone had tripped over it.
Daughter didn’t know as she didn’t know how big it was
Hilda then claimed that Daughter’s husband had just tripped over it at home.
When Daughter got home, she was to ask him about it.  When he gasped in amazement, and asked how she knew, she was to say Hilda had told her.

Marshmallow teacakes… why were they important?
Dunno, oh hang on, grandaughter’s boyfriend quite likes them. 

I couldn’t quite make this one out. The girl was very young (late teens), all alone and apparently very shy…. She was actually crying


I think that this was intended to close the show on a high, but it made for very uncomfortable viewing


The final call was as cruel as the end of the first half: a young girl claimed Douglas as her Dad.
 He had a crushed chest……. 

I don’t know

It could have been where they tried to resuscitate him…

I don’t know

She then said that she had been a baby when he died and she had no memories of him
Fry then claimed that she had a photo of herself with her father…..
No, one of him on his own

She was then told to return it to whoever had given her this photo and to ask them for the one of the two of them.  He then said that he would see her after the show, where he would have some more messages for her.

Love and Light  

End of the show

    The evening ended as it had begun, sitting outside the theatre, sipping a glass of wine, looking at the sea. However, on watching people leave, there was a lot of grumbling and disappointed faces. There was little of the excited chattering that is usually seen when people have seen a good show and are feeling uplifted.

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