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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
The latest demand from the Brown Grabber is a £6/year Broadband Tax on every home and business landline telephone in the country. The cash is allegedly to be spent on extending the broadband network but, in reality, it will just disappear down the huge Brown Hole in the economy along with all previous Stealth Taxes. Garbagegate has a list of Stealth Taxes CLICK HERE to "read 'em and weep"! |
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In a burst of pluralism, BFN would like to make a joint award to the entire Strathclyde police force, members of which issued a £50 fixed penalty fine to a disabled man who dropped a £10 note in Ayr. BFN would also recommend that Council Taxpayers in the Strathclyde area withhold their police precept until EVERY member of the local force can prove that they have been on a course AT THEIR OWN EXPENSE to teach them the difference between litter and lost property. BFN would also recommend that the Chief Constable, Stephen House, be sacked immediately for letting his command degenerate into such a disgraceful condition. BFN would like to expand this month's award . . . |
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The actor who went from rags to riches as a 'comic in a frock' and back to rags again has died at 81. His initial go at playing a drag queen flopped but he persisted, and with the right management, he made the big time. Only to lose everything to crooked advisors in the 1980s. He couldn't make it as a straight actor but his 60 years of acting in a frock included 3 Royal Variety performances, over 50 pantomimes and 7 major West End shows.
The star of the iconic 1970s show Kung Fu has been found dead in the wardrobe of a Bangkok hotel room at 72. A member of a family of actors, he spent 3 years on TV playing a Shaolin monk and kung fu expert, who wandered through the Wild West of America offering his wisdom and lumps to bad guys. A long string of B-movies followed but he hit the top again in the role of the eponymous hit-man in the Quentin Tarantino film Kill Bill (2003). His demise has overtones of the death from boredom of George Sanders, who checked in to an hotel near Barcelona and checked out of life at 65.
The threat of a mass walk-out by most of the teams, and a rival series in 2010 [wasn't never going to happen!] has seen off the billionaire with an eccentric private life. He won't be standing for re-election in October. Mr. Mosley is credited with putting in place a lot of F1's life-saving safety arrangements, and he warned that if the teams got rid of him, they'd get someone worse, but everyone else felt that they had had enough of him after 18 years and he was getting too autocratic.
The Peter Pan of the pop industry has made the ultimate career move at the ripe old age of 50. He achieved enormous success with shows and music sales, which allowed him to remake his face and enjoy what became known as his Wacko Jacko lifestyle. He spent all his money, and then some, and shuffled off this mortal coil on the eve of a punishing tour aimed at repairing a mountain of debt of truly Brownian proportions. Death means that he will never get older, he will have no more problems with repairing unravelling cosmetic surgery and the legal profession will be left to squabble over the bones of his legacy.
The actress who launched a poster with sales of 12 million had died at 62. She exploded onto TV screens in a flurry of teeth and blonde hair as one of Charlie's Angels and she was married to TV's Six Million Dollar Man for a while. The marriage then her career hit the buffers but she found a niche in Hollywood's made-for-TV film industry, specializing in battered women, and ended her career as the star of her own celeb cancer video diary. |
After the Battle of Britain, a Hurricane pilot was banished to Bomber Command. He had to fly a Bristol Blenheim with a crew of misfits. Inevitably, they were shot down. The second time put them in Occupied France just before the German invasion of Russia and into extremely unlikely company! Read the Blurb on the Romiley Literary Circle website Category : World War II Speculative History |
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Before the voting started for the Iranian presidential election, they were saying that Pres. Dinnerjacket wouldn't be re-elected if he didn't rig the vote. He was re-elected by a landslide. 'Nuff said! Apart from the observation that we expect a rush of applications for visas to Iran from the New Labour election apparatchiks.
A reader writes: British National Party [Don't Mention the Garden Party]
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Back in 1978, we had the economy in shreds thanks to D. Healey's mismanagement and 'Sunny' Jim Callaghan in 10 Downing Street as a replacement for the gimmicky, smart-alec H. Wilson, who had baled out a couple of years earlier. Substitute the all flash and no substance T. Blair for Wilson and G. Brown for Healey & Callaghan, and we're right back 30 years in the past. So no wonder members of the Brown Cabinet are jumping ship so energetically. The only pity is that 'Call Me Dave' Cameron is no Mrs. Thatcher.
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Regards, A. Customer. |
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Stockport council has already outfitted us with a green wheely bin for garden offcuts, a black box for bottles & cans and a tough plastic bag for discarded newspapers. The next brilliant idea from the recycling department is to issue everyone with 2 more wheely bins; a BLUE one for newspapers, magazines, crardboard, phone books & drinks cartons, and a GORDON BROWN one for plastic bottles, food tins & drink cans, glass bottles & jars and aerosols.
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There's a force called "Orbital Chaos" at work in the Solar system and it makes the orbits of the inner planets unstable. Which means that Venus or Mars could bash into the Earth!! But the good news is that it's not likely to happen in the next 5 billion years, and then the Sun will expand into a red giant and swallow up the inner planets out to Mars, so we won't be bothered about collisions. |
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Prince Charles took it upon himself to step over the rotting corpse of our dithering prime monster to ensure that there was be a British presence at the D Day + 65 do. His decisive action frustrated the ambition of President Sarko to rewrite the history of the Normandy invasion as an affair involving only Yanks & Frogs.
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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT New on the World Wide Web This brilliant resource which exposes Nigerian-type 419 scams, bogus lotteries & job offers, phishing attempts and much, much more! |
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