This is a mumming play, a type of folk play (for more info, see the Traditional Drama Research Group at the University of Sheffield). The text was written by the Green family (Thomas, Jo, Owen, then 12, and Martin, then 11), each of whom contributed some lines. We're not saying who thought up the really bad gags (are there any others?).

The occasion was an Open Day at Morley Memorial School, Cambridge (UK) in 1988. The theme of the day was a medieval fair, and all the children dressed up appropriately. The play was performed by a group of 10-12 year olds, on a raised dais in the open air. (Later that day, though it was very hot and sunny, an extremely game teacher dressed up in a bear costume and danced to the sound of the pipe and tabor. It was a good day.)

Maiden with "eyes as smoky as a blacksmith's forge" -- played by a very pretty girl who all the lads were keen on; she had dark eyes, hence this line

Blinco Grove - the street where the school was

M eleven - the M11 motorway to Cambridge was then under construction

Dr Who - the famous TV serial of course (nobody said the gags had to be original, dd they?)

James Herriott - The 'Yorkshire Vet'

Orange Maid - a kind of iced lollipop

Stourbridge Fair - a famous medieval fair held near Cambrdge. The children had been doing a project on it

ASF - one of the many local language schools in Cambridge, just round the corner from Blinco Grove, was called ESF, with the slogan "ESF teaches English faster"

There were a few ad lib cracks too, of course.

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The performance. St George lies dead ......... Can he be revived?
Children of Morley Memorial School, 1988.

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The True Account of Brave SAINT GEORGE and the Frightful DRAGON

Saint George:

HERE GOES