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(A continuance of the appreciation expressed in my earlier work, "Beauty Blind".)
Before that fateful day, the day I became aware my existence was finite, I believed Iíd lived each moment completely.
I felt, that had I been informed my life was to be curtailed, that I would make haste to experience those things I had not yet savoured, before my time ran out.
But now that time is upon me and Iím aware that my existence is limited, I realise that before this time I had not lived each moment to itís fullest extent, but had allowed moments to go by unobserved, oblivious to their passing, as though I had all the time in the world.
Yet I am not driven to seek out sensations and experiences not yet encountered, to fill that period between now and my demise, for now that I do understand my time is diminished, my years numbered, I realise that had I yearned for new experiences I would already have sought them out, for my life has been sufficiently long to satisfy those demands had I truly desired them.
Quantity rather than quality is that which is coveted by those who feel immortal. I cannot be party to such waste now I appreciate, as never before, the beauty and intensity of each single moment, which on reflection is a lifetime in itself.
I now perceive those moments and appreciate those things I once took for granted, and in doing so, see a greater beauty, and will experience more in my remaining time than hitherto encountered.
I accept this as a gift to compensate my shortened existence, a gift that only those in such a precarious situation can fully understand and appreciate, and a gift that confounds those who still feel immortal.
Iím grateful for these precious moments, which allow me to enjoy the simple things in life as never before and with a new understanding of their true importance in the scheme of things. My life, however short, is enhanced by these revelations, beyond the understanding of those who have not yet been acquainted with their mortality.
By Graham A. Newman
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