Legal Laughs
(It could only happen in America, or could it..........?)
January 2000: Kathleen
Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after
breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture
store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict,
considering the misbehaving little brat was Ms Robertson's son.
June 1998: A 19 year old Carl
Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran
over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was
someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbour's
hubcaps.
October 1998: A Terrence
Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished
robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to open
because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the
house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it
shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage
for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry
dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue mental anguish.
The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.
October 1999: Jerry Williams
of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being
bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a
chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the
jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr.
Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her
boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
December 1997:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in
a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to
sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
November 2000:Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie. (Winnebago actually changed their handbooks on the back of this court case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles.)
AND FINALLY:
This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade and probably the century.
A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then
insured them against fire, among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and
without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer
filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the
cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to
pay, citing the obvious reason: "......that the man had consumed the cigars in
the normal fashion".
The lawyer sued ... and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the
claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that then lawyer held a
policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable
and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be an unacceptable fire, and was,
therefore, obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company
accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare
cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24
counts of .............ARSON!!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used
against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured
property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.
This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers
Award Contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!!!
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