7

Kids Komments

So wise for one's so young.

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."
Patrick, age 10
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer."
Hannah, 9
"Never tell your mom her diet's not working."
Michael, 14
"Stay away from prunes."
Randy, 9
"Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to."
Emily, 10
"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."
Taylia,11
"Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment."
Traci, 14
"Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers"
Mitchell,12
"Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac."
Andrew, 9
"Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time."
Kyoyo, 9
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."
Armir, 9
"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."
Kellie, 11
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."
Naomi, 15
"Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick."
Lauren, 9
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
Joel,10
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
Alyesha, 13
"Never try to baptize a cat."
Eileen, 8.

...........................................................................................................

Innocence.

A young boy went up to his father and asked: "What is the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The father pondered for a while, then answered: "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Also, ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you have learned." So the boy went to his mother and asked: "Mum, would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied: "Of course I would. I wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that."
The boy then went to his older sister and said: "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied: "Oh gosh!! I would just love to do that! I would have to be nuts to pass up that opportunity!!".
The boy then thought about it for two or three days and went back to his dad.
His father asked him: "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The boy replied, "Yes, potentially we're sitting on two million dollars, but realistically we're living with two slappers."
The father replied, "That's my boy!"

.....................................................................................................................................

Boy Wonder.

 

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but
unfortunately only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger says, "I'm Louis Koen, the best Springbok flyhalf. The
Springboks need me, it would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the
first parachute and jumps.

The second passenger, Graca Machel, says, "I am the wife of the former
President of South Africa. I am also the most dedicated woman in the
world." She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.
 
The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, " I am the President of the
United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics.
And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of
the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die." So he
takes a parachute and jumps.
 
The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old
schoolboy, "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good
person and a priest I will give you the last parachute".

The boy replies "No problem your Popeness, there is a parachute for you.
America's most intelligent President has just taken my schoolbag..."

......................................................................................................................

Durex(pect) me to Believe That.

Just in case you ever wondered why Condoms Come in Boxes of 3, 6, or 12 .......

A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy.

He then notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
Those are for college boys," the dad answers, "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied.......




>




scroll down







>




"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"
 

 

                                          

===============================================

OR