(CLICK "HIGHLIGHTED" NAMES TO SEE PHOTOS)
Hi, I'mGRAHAM , my old police colleagues called me "Buck" (well that's what it sounded like down the corridors when they shouted after me!!!). This nickname has many connotations, and so I leave you to imagine the one best suited to your minds eye view of me, save to say, I'm not that keen on lettuce. Truth be known, it had more to do with the shape of my Police helmet looking like a bucket, and the name "Bucket" was later abbreviated. I'm a retired Policeman (born 1950 - retired 2001), and I live in Stockton-on-Tees, in the North East of England. My family, consists of, my MOTHER , brother TERRY , "She who must be obeyed" i.e. my wife LILIAN , my youngest son MARTIN. Then there's my other son MATTHEW together with NICOLA his partner, LIAM her son and LUCY their daughter and finally my daughter SUZANNE together with my grandson ZAK . Other family members such as Lilian's sisters etc. can be seen in the photo galleries.
By an odd coincidence, my first grandchild, Zak, was born on my 47th birthday, which uncannily matches my mothers first grandchild being born on her 47th birthday. (Spooky?) (Not a lot of people know that)
My main pastime is relaxing, an activity I've taken to quite well. Mygardening skills are limited to sitting in it during the good weather with a cool drink, and concentrating on the relaxation part of my pastime.
Since retirement, I make a daily visit toWYNYARD WOODLAND PARK (formerly, Castle Eden Walkway) located at Thorpe Thewles, near Stockton. The walkway is a disused railway line, converted to a country park, and has all the amenities required for a family visit, such as walking the dog, jogging, wild life watching, children's adventure play area, lunch at the tea rooms, a visit to the observatory or visitor centre, whatever takes your fancy. My early morning, three and a half mile walk at this most beautiful location, starts my day off on the right foot, or the left foot, depending upon how I get out of the car.
Lilian and I also love to visit theLAKE DISTRICT Cumbria. We are able to spend many long weekends near to KESWICK courtesy of my sister-in-laws Static caravan.
I decided not to extend my Police service, and retired at the age of 50, after completing thirty years of service. Lilian however, continues to work in the catering business, in order to keep me in the style to which I am becoming accustomed.
I should begin by informing you that fate, otherwise known as Murphy’s Law, has played a big part in my life, and will possibly play a large part in my death.
My first brush with fate, although I wouldn’t know it for many years, came in 1955 when I was 5yrs old. I escaped from the garden of my home and set off in my pedal police car, on an adventure to the busy main road junction nearby. There, I proceeded to direct traffic, which I’m told was swerving in all directions to avoid me. Needless to say I was quickly collected by concerned neighbours and an irate parent. Was it fate laying the foundations of my future, by suggesting the direction my life should follow? Given the course my life took, you have to wonder.
Fate made its presence felt a few more times over the years, such as the time in 1978, when I was unfortunate enough to develop a rather painful infection on the rearmost part of my anatomy. I figured that if I went to my doctor, he’d prescribe a course of antibiotics to sort it out and that would be the end of it, if you’ll excuse the pun. Fate decided that would be too easy, so when the doctor examined my rather inflamed nether regions, he told me it was a boil which needed lancing, but was too far gone for him to deal with at the surgery. He gave me a note and sent me to the hospital casualty department for them to deal with it. I turned up at the hospital dreading the thought of the ordeal to come, when fate did it again. There I was with my rear exposed (not a pretty sight!) when a nurse had a look at it and shook her head, then a doctor had a quick look at it and he shook his head, then to my complete surprise, I was carted me off to a ward where I spent a full week after a rather painful operation. It turned out to be a very large abscess and fistula. There was such a large cavity where it had been, that when the nurses packed it with yards of wadding each day to aid it’s recovery, I began to worry where they were shoving it all. It was that fate thing embarrassing me.
In 2000, fate had another swipe at me. Have you heard of “Economy Class Syndrome”, that rather odd phrase that suggests you’ve been on an expensive holiday, but on the cheap and suffered an illness because of the cramped conditions? Well it’s actually called,” Deep Vein Thrombosis” or DVT, a life threatening blood clot, and I got one in my leg on my way home from a holiday. I wouldn’t have minded so much if I’d been on a flight home from some exotic long haul destination which caused this affliction, but I wasn’t. You see? It was fate steering me into another unlikely and embarrassing situation. How? Well every time someone asked me what distant and exotic sun drenched resort I was flying home from that brought about this medical drama, I had to admit it was just a bus trip home from Paris. Hardly the Caribbean was it? But that’s fate for you.
Right, I've set the scene, so lets move on.
The main feature of this site, is a humorous diary about the symptoms, diagnosis, treatment and side effects of my prostate cancer, which may prompt one or two of you to seek medical advice sooner rather than later.Please visit the other pages of this site when a tear wells up in your eye, as they contain a large selection of jokes, plus funny and unusual pictures, photos and facts, to cheer you up before you read on.
This encounter with my mortality provided me with a sense of appreciation of things formerly taken for granted, and culminated in my writing "Prose" regarding this and our eventual passing. To read the ravings of a deranged mind (mine), click one of the links around the site like the one in this paragraph, or use the index on the left.
Please feel free to contact me via the "Comments" page or "Guest Book", with your thoughts, suggestions or complaints. I will take all reasonable suggestions on board for consideration. (but reserve the right to totally ignore them, as part of my development of "cantankerous old git" skills). The links can be found on the index to the left.
If you have any issues related to aspects of the site not working as they should, then please visit the "Help" page, where you may find a solution or explanation. (or not!) or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org