Foreigners Attempting English

Disclaimer

Please note: It is absolutely and sincerely NOT our intention to offend, mock, or insult people of other nationalities. We fully realise that our attempts to speak their language / languages would surely sound equally hilarious to them. We are not laughing AT them, we are laughing TOWARDS them. Please enjoy!

Introduction We've all seen them: in technical manuals; in assembly instructions; on batteries; etc.. Examples of English which has apparently been translated from some other tongue by someone for whom English is only a third or fourth language. Either that, or the translation has passed through several other languages before arriving at what is supposed to pass for English. A kind of trans-lingual "Chinese Whispers". We showcase them here without further comment, except for that which is necessary for the purposes of context. They are presented simply for your delight and enjoyment.

OK then. Now that we have dispensed with the formalities, please plump up a cushion, ensure that your truss is properly adjusted, sit back, and read on.

Polarity Prose

This first one was found printed on a battery (and does also appear elsewhere on this website):

Caution: Install correctly according to the marks of positive pole and negative pole shown on the materials. Do not recharge, strip or burn up. Do not use with used battery. Avoid from exploding and flowing electrolytic liquid out.

Sophisticated

This one was found embossed into the casing on the underside of The Spinmeister's "Powerjoy" hand-held TV games console (also featured elsewhere on this website):

*Since this is a sophisticated apparatus should avoid to operate or to store under extreme temperature, also avoid violent bumps is necessary; moreover, never disassemble it.

*The reasons causing dofauts are:Touching the end fields by hands, or cleaning by wet materials.

For The Chattering Masses

Here's one found by The Gobmeister on the welcome page of a chatroom service, which is believed to originate from Mexico.

**chat gives you the welcome , we are working to be able to with time offer same the services and but services to which you were customary. If you have the basic knowledge on php/scripting and you want to form part of our staff, please answer this questions, Click here.

SUPPORT ONLINE
żDo you have problems with chat? You need support or simply you have doubts, join to I-Desk our operators helped you.

LOVE CHAT
Get in to our room of love, maybe you can find your average orange. What are you waiting for! get in to Love Shack maybe your average orange be there at this moment.

CHAT CATEGORIES
Begins your experience sailing in one of ours popular categories:

General
Romance
Entertainment

"Average orange" ???????!

Latest Addition/s

The chat website from which that previous section came went offline for a while, but The Gobmeister is delighted to report that it has returned with even more fine gobbledigook:

The last advances of the server: Authentication in real time, masses like msn, whois finished, all the modes working and others of not much importance.

**Chat is working to be able to offer an excellent service, single we requested a little time. We invited to you to that you prove the server without a doubt you took to a great surprise when seeing everything what we worked.

What are you waiting for!! help us your also and bring your friends and begin to chat like you did it before.

Fantastic, eh? Now we want you to keep your eyes peeled for more examples out there in the real world. Please send them in to GobFM by using the Feedback Form (link on Homepage) or by using the GobFM email address. Have fun!

Accreditation

Thanks are due to Danny Baker (surprise surprise) & Danny Kelly for the original idea / inspiration for this webpage.