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The Leicester Turn Off
Peter Gilbert 29.2.00
Those of us who have arrived
back from Cloud 9 will be alerted to the fact that we have a
game of football again on a Sunday this coming weekend.
Of course by then Martin O'Neill will have gone to Celtic, Emile
Heskey to Liverpool and Neil Lennon to Arsenal. Also the kit
man will have gone to Benetton, the Physio will have become a
faith healer with a wandering tribe of Apache Indians and I will
be spending the weekend camping on the moon to get away from
it all.
Oh I forgot to say; Elliott, Savage and Izzett will be refusing
to play for Leicester. We will have signed Bjornagain and
Paulo Wanchope for £4m. Believe me all these stories are
being bandied about as 'fait accompli' - bound to happen, only
a matter of time. So the wonderful magnificent glory days of
Leicester City are over..................................................................................................................
..............................................Oh well it was
fun while it lasted.
So we will have absolutely no chance against Sunderland. we
have no management, staff or any top players-Leicester City are
doomed -they are to be eclipsed by a team that can't win a two
horse race and another one that hasn't won anything for ten years.
Pity really because we were just beginning to get it together,
we were playing for a place in the top six and had just won our
first major trophy at Wembley. But no, I believe everything I
read in the papers and so it must be true. We are just a very
mediocre team and we always will be.
Sunderland of course are entirely different, they're brimming
with confidence, they have a lovely new ground and all their
players are more than happy to stay with them, as is their manager.
As a result they will cut straight through us on Sunday afternoon
and give us the thrashing we deserve.
It's not really worth turning up to watch and I urge all Leicester
City fans to call it a day and go and watch Coventry or Derby
or even better become a Man Utd or Liverpool or Arsenal fan.
The best thing that could happen would be for all teams in England
to go out of business except: Man Utd, Arsenal, Chelsea,Liverpool
and Leeds and we could all support one of them in a European
League which we could watch on TV with dubbed on crowd noise
because no-one will actually be at the match.
Then we could ban local football, park football and kick abouts
in the street. All youngsters will play only Play Station and
eat pizzas and get fat and the beautiful game will be played
by only a select beautiful few, well we don't want it ruining
do we!
So who cares about Leicester v Sunderland, well no-one really
because they aren't one of the big five, and all Leicester's
players will be gone.
I expect our team to be:.......err well I don't know any of them
and anyway I don't really care.
Football is dead in this pathetic little apology of a city of
ours.
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