“Welcome to Old Trafford, The Theatre of Dreams,”
Is what the advert. hoarding around the stadium screams,
Some call it the “Lions’ Den,” where the audiences are vaster,
But tonight can Boro show them who is the real ringmaster?

It’s a wonderful evening and of wind there’s not a breath,
And the Boro will know for certain that they must fight until the death,
Accept all recent criticism: so much of which was stinging,
Stand up now and be counted and send the fans home happy and singing.

It’s a big night for McClaren, who won’t expect a loss,
One hundred games in the Premiership when he has been the boss,
By a very strange quirk the Boro, despite all their many sins,
Are seeking this very same evening a hundred Premiership wins.

As everyone expected the hosts came out all guns a’ blazing,
And Scholes almost immediately had the visitors’ temperatures raising,
He blasted in a shot, which French Franck put out of play,
And the resulting Ryan Giggs’ corner was easily cleared away.

Juninho’s already beginning to hustle and to pester,
When he easily outwitted Man. United’s man, Silvestre,
Who was left trailing in the wake of the Wee Man’s clever run,
So he stopped our man illegally but no damage had been done.

Almost instantly we then saw Man. United at their best,
As the Boro were faced with their first and genuine test,
From a corner kick Paul Scholes found the luxury of space,
Demonstrating to the Boro the real dangers that they face.

A Mendieta and Job attack then promised us so much,
But Juninho, well positioned, couldn’t find an accurate touch,
A corner was our just reward, courtesy of Louis Saha,
Sent just wide of United’s post though the goal was left ajar.

As Man. U. next attacked Captain Gareth had read the plot,
The ball fell right for Ryan Giggs right on the penalty spot,
But our leader had decided that, “You’re never going to pass,”
And he saved the Boro’s bacon with a tackle of world class.

As Juninho is now seeking to pull the Boro’s strings,
The next move is once more promising, the most wonderful of things,
When Zenden went right through and Sir Alex only glowered,
And his prayers were somehow answered by his goalkeeper, Tim Howard.

Doriva chose the wrong ball just as Mendi peeled away,
Instead he picked out Joseph, who was subjected to foul play,
Queudrue let one fly and every Boro fan’s breath was bated,
It missed by miles so Franck’s first goal of this campaign’s still awaited.

Zenden, in the next attack, feeds Queudrue out in space,
He had a shot and all the way it looked to be an ace,
The ricochet from off the bar, which then our Brazilian star met,
Finished up inside the goal as our man had found the target.

Queudrue was being encouraged all the way to have a dig,
Then it fell right for Juninho, who isn’t very big,
He was the first man to react and managed to guide it with his head,
Howard was beaten all ends up and Man. U. were seeing red.

What great joy for travelling Boro fans who’d splashed out their hard-earned cash,
When they saw their favourite Brazilian reacting in a flash,
To score another super goal and make his total seven,
Leaving him and all around him feeling as if in seventh heaven.

The Boro fans are jubilant and Alex Ferguson’s astounded,
But United can be most dangerous when they’ve suddenly been wounded,
A cross whizzed deep into our box and caught Schwarzer by surprise,
Saha’s header was somehow saved though it took a couple of tries.

Then, almost beyond belief, the Boro’s lead was doubled,
Although United hadn’t appeared, to be remotely troubled,
Downing’s cross exposed United’s recent defence fragility,
And up again popped Juninho showing the epitome of agility.

Another header from The Wee Man and Sir Alex had no excuse,
He’s standing by the dugout with a face that’s deepest puce,
Sixty-thousand home fans’ enthusiasm has been dampened,
That’s now two-nil to Juninho with the Boro running rampant.

Though Southgate realises that Man. U. have had a fright,
He’s galvanizing all his troops to keep things nice and tight,
Concentration is still called for in this great, Titanic clash,
If we are to be successful against the inevitable backlash.

As Juninho then sought once again to turn up the heat,
The ball was caught frustratingly, right underneath his feet,
The board was then displayed, showing time to be added on,
It was two further minutes but that opportunity had now gone.

With the game’s first half now dying and in its very last throes,
Man. U’s ‘Van the Man’ a massive problem then did pose,
The ball bounced around alarmingly and we had chances to clear,
But Ruud was first to act and the price we paid was dear.

Up to that very point the Boro were oft seen to be cruising,
And that setback at the death, was really terribly bruising,
So the game’s again wide open and I wouldn’t take any bets,
But what we’ve seen this evening was as good as it ever gets.

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The manager’s half-time address would be handled with great ease,
With McClaren simply saying to them, “Lads, same again, if you please!”
“We’ve won the first half easily and with very, very good reason,”
“And things are looking set now for the biggest shock of this season.”

Saha’s surging through on goal when upturned by Doriva,
Who has marked his man so very well, like the busiest of beaver,
But Boro now are hanging on and feeling all the heat,
And big Mark’s double save shows that he’s very difficult to beat.

Mills was now being booked as some players’ temperatures rose,
He’s confronting Ruud van Nistelrooy and they’re standing nose-to-nose,
For back-chatting to the referee which he sadly couldn’t resist,
There’s now a risk for Danny Mills that his final may be missed.

Job was crudely cartwheeled by United’s Nicky Butt,
And Downing was the quickest and really used his nut,
He took the free kick speedily with United’s back door creaking,
As Man. U. were caught really cold with Downing havoc wreaking.

Mendieta then came up with an effort quite divine,
And Howard managed to parry it, directly on the line,
United quickly countered, thereby keeping up the thrills,
And the effort from Saha was somehow saved, full-stretch, by Mills.

There’s strife inside the Boro box as the players jostle and fidget,
And Mills somehow came out of it with a dislocated digit,
Then whilst off the pitch and being very slowly treated,
Things out on the playing field were become ever more heated.

Whilst down to ten men, Boro, were taking a really massive gamble,
And they luckily escaped from an almighty, prolonged scramble,
With McClaren now complaining and clearly quite furious,
And that Mills was never subbed I still find really, really curious.

As most of us had feared, the hosts then came back from the dead,
So now we need the Boro lads to breathe deep and clear the head,
Ruud got in the header as the ball was well whipped in,
It was slotted home by Giggs who was unseen and slipped right in.

Boro must show caution in this game being played at pace,
In fact, they need to stand back and find some breathing space,
Each side puts in a strong attack which it sees the other team block out,
Just like two professional fighters: each seeking the ultimate knockout.

Ronaldo then skinned Danny Mills and got a brilliant ball in,
But the wondrous save by Southgate was totally enthralling,
John O’Shea was six yards’ out and standing there unfettered,
And Southgate’s block? I’m really sure: we’ll never see it bettered.

Almost throughout this second half we’ve been pushed from pillar to post,
Until Joseph Job hit Man. U. exactly where it hurts the most,
The in-form striker’s goal was truly a sensation,
Which brought to every Boro fan a great feeling of elation.

Schwarzer kept us in the game, I’m happy to announce,
When Saha headed goalwards with Ruud waiting there to pounce,
Then four minutes’ added time was shown which most find unbelievable,
And United will, no doubt, conclude this game is still retrievable.

Whether Mr. Durkin used his watch or an old antique sundial,
Boro now must face a long extension of their trial,
In the dying seconds Forlan struck a great shot off the bar,
To end the night so wonderfully as the rebound’s missed by Saha.

So the bold Sir Alex Ferguson had been dumped on his Derrière,
And Boro fans will join me in saying, “The more, the merrier,”
Go out now and enjoy it, and shout it very loud,
The Boro can stand tall again and feel very, very proud.

Surely now the Gunners will come out top in this campaign,
And perhaps Monsieur Wenger will send Juninho some champagne,
And finally to Fergie, albeit a few days late,
“Happy Birthday to you, Alex, from every Boro fan. Great!”