It’s a most glorious, autumn afternoon,
And the teams, I’m sure, will come out soon
, The flags are fluttering, with conditions perfect,
And a Boro win is what their fans expect.

Even before the game gets under way,
We must ensure this isn’t the Black Cats’ day,
But Derby games are so frequently levellers,
As is instantly shown by the travelling revellers.

With just ninety seconds showing on the clock,
The Black Cats’ Miller came up with a shock,
For the visitors got off to a real, dream start,
To immediately break the Boro’s heart.

Miller drifted in like the proverbial ghost,
And his shot went in from off the post,
With the home fans stunned and heavy of heart,
For with some poor defending we were torn apart.

Rochemback manages to lose his marker,
Then cleverly gets around Julio Arca,
A corner’s forced and Morrison lets one rip,
Can the Boro lads finally get a grip?

As Yakubu shields his eyes from the brilliant sun,
Morrison is going on a mazy run,
He should have crossed to bring a swift riposte,
But, he who hesitates, in nearly always lost.

Rochemback was then caught in possession,
And this could have proved a costly indiscretion,
But Bassila played an awful ball when they were three on two,
So the threatened further goal did, thankfully, not accrue.

A free kick to the Black Cats was then sent ‘miles’ wide,
And Boateng, who’d conceded, looked most gratified,
For Boro still look capable of getting things once more on track,
With Boateng doing his utmost to lead his Boro colleagues back.

He looks desperately uncomfortable, playing out of position,
But Queudrue’s strike on goal certainly didn’t lack ambition,
It appeared goalwards bound then took the wickedest deflection,
Then the resulting corner kick lacked both quality and direction.

Franck deliberately downed Arca, as he’s clear when running in,
And it seems the referee’s patience is finally wearing thin,
It was certainly not malicious, but left Arca feeling dazed,
So the caution was administered and the yellow card was raised.

Then came from the Boro their best football hitherto,
When Morrison, on the right side, received the ball from Yakubu,
The young lad’s steaming forward as he continues to bedevil,
Then a great save by Kelvin Davis meant we failed to bring things level.

Arca is then injured, by a tackle somewhat belated,
And their manager, Mick McCarthy, is increasingly animated,
He exchanged words with Boro’s boss over Boateng’s unfair lunge,
But then Arca’s quickly up and running: thanks to the magic sponge.

Ugo appears injured with Boro showing great concern,
He’s replaced by Maccarone, so can he give us what we yearn?
Can he possibly provide the spark for a Boro below par?
But, with so many changes, no-one knows remotely where they are.

Rochemback, finding Yak in space, seeks to restore some Boro pride,
Then Morrison’s incorrectly ruled to have wandered just offside,
Though the linesman clearly didn’t do the Boro any favour,
Davis in the Black Cats’ goal brought off a stop to savour.

With three very lengthy minutes added to this dire display,
The Black Cats have certainly caught us on a truly awful day,
The start was just disastrous and the Boro must be rueing,
But Sunderland obviously want it more: hence the Boro fans’ booing.

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No changes made by Boro, in what has been a non-event,
And, for football in the Premiership, it’s been a poor advertisement,
Some of our millionaire players simply do not seem to care,
And the game seems likely to become another Sunday nightmare.

Rochemback lost the ball again and Arca’s on a run,
And Boro were so lucky that they weren’t once more undone,
With three players waiting near post, the ball was sent too long,
And Arca was disappointed but this time he’d got it wrong.

Then came a worrying moment which every player dreads,
With two of the visitors’ players involved in a sickening clash of heads,
Both had their eyes fixed on the ball and then play was ‘adjourned,’
But the manager of the Black Cats doesn’t appear to be too concerned.

They were totally committed and they met with such a thud,
But both resumed quite quickly, despite the obvious loss of blood,
Whilst they were down to nine men, Davis looked up to the heavens,
When Viduka put one wide, we were at sixes and at sevens.

So, another promising opening we’d again failed to exploit,
Then yellow cards were shown to Maccarone and to Hoyte,
Macca didn’t like the challenge and his face was really ashen,
Who says the present-day Derby games are totally lacking passion?

After Pogatetz had stumbled came a decision that was shocking,
The ref. failed to play advantage but soon the visiting fans were rocking,
Southgate upended Elliott on the edge of Boro’s box,
Then up stepped Julio Arca, the Black Cats’ talented, sly ‘old’ fox.

He placed the ball deliberately, then he was up and running,
To curl the ball past ‘keeper Jones: a strike, quite simply, stunning!
McClaren was clearly shaken and almost had a cardiac,
For he realised, from that moment, there was no way of coming back.

Into added time the Boro were denied some consolation,
When Davis made a wondrous save, to enhance his reputation,
By this time the Boro supporters were rushing off towards the Tees,
After witnessing their Boro so easily brought down to their knees.

We’d never looked like scoring: McCarthy pulled a masterstroke,
And, although it isn’t funny, our home record is a joke,
But now the Sunderland season has been finally kick-started,
At the expense of the Boro, whose fans go home broken-hearted.

With loud boos ringing in their ears, the Boro got the bird,
Whilst the Black Cats really got the cream and, goodness, how they purred!
The visitors got what they deserved and left us traumatised,
Though I ask, in all sincerity, was anyone genuinely surprised?

Well, our next trip is to Xanthi and, despite our two-nil lead,
Unless we greatly raise our game success isn’t guaranteed,
We must do our best to ensure that the bubble doesn’t burst,
But, without being too pessimistic, I’m beginning to feel the worst.