Last night, in a dream, I rubbed Aladdin’s old lamp,
And the genie appeared, suffering somewhat from cramp,
He said, “Tonight, Boro’s pride will be once more restored,”
Then, in seven days’ time, we’ll earn glory abroad.

It’s the 10th day of March: just a week to St. Patrick,
And how we could do with a Hasselbaink hat-trick,
That’s what we might need if we’re intent on thwarting,
The world-renowned team of the Lisbon Club, Sporting.

We are entering now into regions unknown,
With a squad – due to injuries – that’s been pared to the bone,
But we need at least two goals and a clean sheet, I’d guess,
To go into the second leg with any hope of success.

Noite boa e boa vinda ao estadio do Riverside,
Good evening and welcome to the Riverside stadium,
But, with the greetings all over, all-out assault must be mounted,
For the time has now come to stand up and be counted.

With the visitors from Portugal playing in hoops, green and white,
I feel that we’re now in for a hard, torrid night,
The turnout’s low and disappointing, which I find disconcerting,
And one feels that, deep inside, our dear chairman is hurting.

Less than a minute’s been played and we called for a pen,
When Downing, on the blind side, beat his marker and then,
The defender put his knee in, after Stewart had striven,
He went to ground and the pen. was denied,though we’ve all seen them given.

Former ‘Toon’ man Viana showed great individual skill,
He waltzed past several Boro lads, like they were standing still,
Given too much time and space the final ball was poor,
With colleagues waiting for the kill, a great escape, for sure!

A cross-field ball found Liedson and he brilliantly collected,
To get a shot on Boro’s goal, which Riggott then deflected,
Their switching and their accuracy has fans admiring, goggle-eyed,
Then, from the ensuing corner, a shot was fired just inches wide.

Douala’s bit of magic, played with tremendous skill and pace,
Left Riggott, who just dived in, with some egg upon his face,
The ball in was outstanding and the target man then soared,
And everyone in the stadium felt Viana should have scored.

Downing curled a great ball in then we saw some rough and tumble,
Queudrue met it really well and we saw the ‘keeper fumble,
Franck was so unlucky but the stopper made the save,
Though he might have had his head kicked, and his actions were so brave.

Rochemback then fell to earth, as if he’d just been clubbed,
He rolled around ‘in agony’ but all calls for help were snubbed,
Any sympathy from those around was very, very sparse,
And the ref. saw it all as nonsense and a quite ridiculous farce.

We appeared in imminent danger with Doriva’s pass misplaced,
But Bolo, tackling back so well, meant we weren’t then red-faced,
Then, what great play from Queudrue, when he appeared to be exposed,
To spray the ball to Downing: Franck looked wonderfully composed.

Queudrue plays a great ball despite being under so much pressure,
To cleverly pick out Reiziger who is suddenly looking fresher,
He then arrowed one to Downing, showing quite delightful vision,
Then ‘Stewey’ spoiled this promising move with a moment’s indecision.

Young Danny’s getting at them and he’s giving it some leather,
Like an old-fashioned centre forward, he’s ruffling more than the odd feather,
The Sporting Lisbon manager, who’s now appearing ill-at-ease,
Seems to be saying, “Watch that lad,” though I speak no Portuguese.

Queudrue brought in Downing and he didn’t need a touch,
He struck it first time, wonderfully, towards Jimmy who is Dutch,
Hasselbaink did his utmost and one thing must be recorded,
Although he missed, he didn’t moan, but stood there and applauded.

Doriva brought in Jimmy when he played into the channel,
A ball deserving of the highest mark, by any viewing panel,
Then Danny forced a corner for a promising scenario,
But it was cleared for a breakaway by the head of one, Rogerio.

Douala ‘flew’ along the left: that man could catch a pigeon,
He easily out-paced Boro and by more than just a smidgen,
But the strike on goal was poor for a man of such repute,
And Schwarzer saved with comfort from an angle quite acute.

Bolo shot from distance but was really too ambitious,
A ball to unmarked Downing might have proved much more judicious,
But at least he hit the target and, of course, I do accept,
He might have been successful against a man sometimes inept.

And so we reached the interval with the fans still feeling lifted,
Nil-nil is no disgrace against a team so technically gifted,
But, to be totally honest, we’ve been second best, on the whole,
And Sporting are still seeking their killer-touch in front of goal.

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Nemeth is now on the field whilst Reiziger is rested,
For one thing is for certain, this goalkeeper must be tested,
And if we have real aspirations for the Boro to advance,
Then we’ll need to score a goal or two, to have a Sporting chance.

Sporting threatened danger with some quite delightful touches,
When, for the first time, they escaped from Queudrue’s clutches,
The pace of Sporting’s men is, at times, electrifying,
But Schwarzer saved most bravely as the boots were really flying.

Soon the wonderful Barbosa, without breaking any sweat,
Totally outwitted French Franck, then went on to find the net,
34 he may be but that’s one goal up and counting,
So, after just a couple of minutes, the pressure on Boro is now mounting.

Schwarzer kept us in the tie when Liedson went a’ knocking,
But the pressure remains relentless and the Boro are really rocking,
The play from Sporting Lisbon was, at times, simply sublime,
And goal number two, from Liedson, means we’ve a mountain now to climb.

They really are a class act and their play is textbook stuff,
And for Boro it’s impossible their advances to rebuff,
The great cross was inch-perfect and Boro faces soon grew redder,
As the scoreboard moved to two-nil with a most exquisite header.

Job’s brought on for Graham, now that Boro are being stuffed,
And the Boro’s faithful following let us know that they’re not chuffed,
Danny has done nothing wrong but McClaren has made his choice,
So let’s now pray that Joseph Job can help us to rejoice.

Then, suddenly in the Boro, hearts sink well beneath the Tees,
When Sporting’s tally goes to three, as easy as you please,
Some unhappy fans are leaving, for Sporting’s confidence is oozing,
Will these fans now drown their sorrows, by returning to their boozing?

At half-time we were in the game, perhaps with just a shout,
But now, if we’re not careful, this could well become a rout,
Though, sometimes, one must raise one’s hands, in honest admiration,
And look upon this evening as part of our football education.

What a move by Sporting, with Barbosa the supplier,
He superbly finds Liedson and their skills we must admire,
Thankfully, for the Boro, big Mark Schwarzer kept his cool,
To make another superb stop and save us all from ridicule.

Sporting make two changes; no doubt feeling this tie’s won,
Then up stepped Joseph Job with the visitors brilliantly outdone,
By the best goal of the evening, to give new hope of a revival?
Or simply to relieve the pain against a giant Euro rival?

Bolo picked out Joseph, standing wide, his back to goal,
Then came his acrobatic volley with unbelievable control,
And the ‘keeper was left rooted: he could only stand and stare,
For the shot was so ferocious that he didn’t have a prayer.

Schwarzer kept us in it with several saves that were amazing,
As Sporting kept the pressure up with all their guns a’ blazing,
Then came the magic moment which brought Boro fans great relief,
To see ‘keeper Ricardo holding his head in disbelief.

With two of his own colleagues the ‘keeper somehow had collided,
And this meant that, for the Boro, a chance was now provided,
Riggott fired home: Ricardo looked towards the heavens,
For the first time this evening the visitors seem at sixes and at sevens.

Boro had their opportunities to equalise the score,
And thereby have some slight chance in this brilliant tug-of-war,
It was 3-2 at the whistle as Sporting ran down the clock,
And I feel that, come next Thursday, we won’t be seeing any shock.

Some say a football lesson is what we’ve all just seen,
With the masters at the Riverside being the lads in white and green,
Character we certainly showed, not least by bouncing back,
But, overall, we were outclassed: for so long on the rack.

I’ve returned the genie to his lamp: I’m afraid he got it wrong,
But we’re all set for next Thursday and another great ding-dong,
So, Adeus veja outra vez em Lisboa Semana seguinte,
Goodbye to Sporting Lisbon, and we’ll see you all next week.

(PS. My feeble attempt at Portuguese might not be as intended,
And I hope, if you know better, that you’ll not be too offended.)