When you hear the commentaries on our favourite national sport,
Have you ever, for a moment, just sat there quietly and thought,
That, instead of just one ball, with which we all are well acquainted,
There could be many more, from the ‘pictures’ that are painted?

There is talk of the short ball and of others that are too long,
Sometimes they are weak and on occasions far too strong,
Diagonal some are said to be or maybe even square,
The different descriptions are enough to drive one spare.

I’ve heard of balls being launched and of many others scuffed,
Some of which were welcomed, whilst others were rebuffed,
A few are quite delightful with some said to be just vicious,
Many are so tasty and to some they’re quite delicious.

A ball can then be rolling whilst some others might be dead,
Overcooked and dangerous, I’ve often heard that said,
Many are just wicked and a few are even cunning,
Lots of them are decent ones, both beautiful and stunning.

A clever ball to some might, to others, be really bent,
Yet another will be drilled, though we all know what is meant,
But the hospital ball for years had me totally perplexed,
And, I gather, there are others who are equally as vexed.

Now it’s been explained to me I’m sure it’s not rehearsed,
Like other balls, quite wonderful, IE the one that is reversed,
And, finally, there’s the poor ball, kicked aside, under-inflated,
No more the centre of attraction yet it once was educated.

As in ‘Roy of the Rovers,’ there is the occasional whizzer,
The cannonball, the arrow-like, and possibly a fizzer,
I’ve even heard of the ball being cut and of others being sliced,
And don’t forget the price paid by the one that’s sacrificed.

I’ve tried to visualize each ball as a cute caricature,
The beautiful and stunning ball, exuding great allure,
Perhaps the dangerous, wicked ball, educated and well-read,
But, mostly; the perplexing ball tucked up in a hospital bed.

And that is, I guess, the end of this glorious little tale,
Of the ball kicked to eternity and oft to no avail,
So don’t forget as you sit there, within those marble halls,
Give a thought to the little sphere, or is it just “A lot of balls?”