After ‘suffering’ from the heat for several days in sunny Spain,
The time has come for Boro to get back on the rails again,
But they don’t come very much harder than the Theatre of Dreams,
Though it’s a massive game this evening for both of the teams.

In a competition that’s steeped in both history and tradition,
I’m sure everybody’s seeking a top-drawer Boro exhibition,
On a truly glorious evening, where there’s not a breath of wind,
The Boro must remain, at all times, most disciplined.

Man. U. may have a point to prove and we just might well see,
Changes to the team that recently lost out to Chelsea,
Though Jimmy, playing alone up front, will need plenty assistance,
If Boro are to succeed today and break the hosts’ resistance.

A couple of minutes played and Schwarzer’s brought into the action,
And he earned a cheer from travelling fans for his very quick reaction,
Giggs had picked out Heinze, who was totally unencumbered,
But Schwarzer read it really well and so United were outnumbered.

With United really pressing they are looking so ambitious,
And a ball in from the left, by Giggs, was simply quite delicious,
Schwarzer got nowhere near it and with United in such form,
The Boro will do extremely well to survive the increasing storm.

With United constantly playing with real menace and aggression,
It looks like the Boro face a long and very tough session,
We’re being faced with massive problems that we somehow cannot solve,
And this is shaping up as a huge test of Boro’s resolve.

Fortune did so well to put the ball into the box,
Then it bounced and found Ronaldo, Man. United’s slick young fox,
He juggled then passed the ball, which took an awful ricochet,
And it was finished off immaculately by defender, John O’Shea.

Rooney and Ronaldo up the tempo and are gambling,
And we are hanging by a thread; just surviving; almost ambling,
Their control is almost total as they’ve dipped and they’ve darted,
And the Boro, in comparison, have not yet really started.

There was brilliant interplay twixt Zenden and Jimmy Floyd,
And it then looked totally certain that we’d soon be overjoyed,
Zenden quickly took advantage of a most unusual mistake,
Then Carroll saved miraculously as he uncoiled just like a snake.

One-one had looked a certainty, as the chance was so gilt-edged,
Carroll disagreed as every ounce of energy he dredged,
Then a tackle made on Giggs was absolutely super,
And Boro were still in the game; thanks go to Colin Cooper.

Giggs made a run inside the box with Boro in disarray,
It was reminiscent of Villa Park and that semi-final replay,
That was Man. U. playing Arsenal and Giggs never raised a sweat,
As he scored a truly memorable goal that I certainly won’t forget.

Ronaldo’s amazing trickery feeds Wayne Rooney in the box,
But Schwarzer reads the danger and courageously he blocks,
That could have been two-nil to put the tie well out of sight,
And, but for Schwarzer’s bravery, for the Boro it was ‘Goodnight.’

Rooney and Ronaldo kept up the incessant torture,
But our hopes were kept alive by the heroics of Mark Schwarzer,
The hosts totally controlled things and just one opening we carved,
Because Downing, Morrison and Jimmy, throughout the half were totally starved.

If we do have any ambition to get the team back in the hunt,
Boro really have to gamble with, I’d say, two men at the front,
We have lost our self-belief and that is not being too unkind,
But we can thank our lucky stars that we’re just one goal behind.

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Job’s on for Doriva but the Boro remain ‘contained,’
And the face of Steve McClaren is certainly looking somewhat pained,
When Rooney forced a corner in a good move by Man. U.,
As the hosts are believing that further goals will soon accrue.

Boro won a dubious free kick when Joseph Job was grounded,
And the Man. U. players complained and looked totally astounded,
Downing’s kick found Southgate, who then showed great enterprise,
But unfortunately we disappointed and we failed to capitalise.

The hosts immediately countered, with McClaren going spare,
Ronaldo left us trailing then picked out Giggs, who’s running square,
Schwarzer came out quickly and then clattered the ball well clear,
Real danger once more beckoned and number two was very near.

But where were our defenders? We were so very nearly rocked,
They were nowhere to be found whilst our back door was unlocked,
We were beaten by sheer pace and they almost made us pay,
And our thanks are due to Schwarzer who, again, saved Boro’s day.

Ronaldo’s foiled by Southgate, whose defending’s really stout,
Although he won a corner, as Gareth ushered him out,
Someone got a header into the Boro’s crowded box,
And “What a save from Schwarzer,” as it’s looking like Fort Knox.

Suddenly we lost all interest in this season’s F.A. Cup,
When the wonder of Wayne Rooney give his side a pick-me-up,
Downing slipped and Neville pounced then played the ball to ‘Roon,’
And Old Trafford salutes its hero and they felt over the moon.

Schwarzer came to meet him but was caught in no man’s land,
And Rooney chipped and beat him with the most exquisite ‘sleight of hand,’
What will this boy be like when he is really in his prime?
For his lob from 35 yards, I’d say, was simply, quite divine.

United made three changes with this tie now won and lost,
And there’s apparently not much danger of any Middlesbrough riposte,
It really does appear that we’re running out of puff,
When we were ‘entertained’ to Rooney’s ‘Roy of the Rover’ stuff.

Ferdinand got his head to a lengthy Carroll clearance,
And, suddenly, there’s Rooney, putting in one more appearance,
Showing brilliant technique he hit an unstoppable thumper,
No doubt saying to Mark Schwarzer, “Stick that one up your jumper.”

“What a goal! It was a classic! A most audacious volley!”
And, although we all admired it, it left us feeling melancholy,
Two goalies wouldn’t have saved it; it was really so emphatic,
And the helpless Schwarzer looked on, as he stood there totally static.

Rooney’s eighteen yards from goal; his eyes never left the ball,
Then sheer brilliance brought a goal: one of the best I can recall,
United fans rejoiced and, I would say, with very good reason,
For they’d witnessed what could well be, the best goal of the season.

We had sat back and admired; never in there with a shout,
And we got no more than we deserved and that’s precisely nowt,
We badly need a boost and we’ll find Pompey difficult,
And we’ll do well to come away from there with a half-decent result.

I hope this hasn’t read like “Rooney’s Admiration Society,”
But it’s difficult to maintain one’s usual sobriety,
United were always in first gear and never used the throttle,
And each time Rooney got a chance I had to hit the bottle.

Only joking. I don’t drink!