In search of three more points we’re now seeking to embark,
Today it’s Blackburn Rovers, whom we meet at Ewood Park,
We have thankfully brought back Jimmy to apply a little gloss,
And to pressurise Mark Hughes, the recently installed Rovers’ boss.

Within a matter of seconds of the contest kicking off,
Steven Reid’s on the receiving end of the sternest ticking off,
The physio’s required to perform his duty on the park,
When Bolo went to ground after Reid had left his mark.

It was then the turn of Jimmy to be well and truly clattered,
When Matteo caught him late and left him absolutely shattered,
An apology was instant and that had to be admired,
And the referee Mike Riley ruled a card was not required.

Djorkaeff robbed Parnaby as he tried to lay it off,
Then he sent one long and accurately to the feet of little Dickov,
It was right out of the textbook: it really was a blinder,
But the little man wasn’t good enough to beat our huge net-minder.

A Mendieta free-kick found the hosts in disarray,
Though it deflected for a corner from the foot of Michael Gray,
So what can Stewart Downing possibly seek to engineer?
He fails to clear the first man and the ball is booted clear.

Tugay’s handball brought a yellow card, which some found rather petty,
When referees apply the rules and wave them like confetti,
Then Emerton, sneaking in on goal, showed quite tremendous guile,
And spoiled it all by shooting high and missed by half-a-mile.

Then came the turn for McMahon to incur the ref’s displeasure,
For a naughty foul on Emerton came the card he now can treasure,
As his first within the Premiership, though more will come, I feel quite sure,
It was absolutely justified and showed he’s immature.

A free kick to the Rovers was then signalled by the ref.,
When Boateng and Riggott both pulled the shirt of Djorkaeff
The position could spell danger on the perimeter of the ‘D’,
But Schwarzer wasn’t troubled and he cleared it rapidly.

The Boro defence went missing to a long ball o’er the top,
And for an awful moment we looked ready for the chop,
Then Parnaby got a block in on the Blackburn Rovers’ skipper,
And he rashly played it wide when he had tried to play a dipper.

Tugay’s foolish challenge brought Rovers greater problems when,
He got a second yellow so the hosts go down to ten,
Is this a signal now for the Boro to show some sparkle,
And overwhelm the hosts; create an absolute debacle?

Emerton’s creating mayhem and in the Boro ranks some terror,
Then Parnaby was magnificent with no margin left for error,
His tackle was stupendous as a Rovers’ foot was primed,
And it was a certain penalty had the challenge been mistimed.

Downing runs at Lucas Neill and tries to add some needle,
Then strikes the ball quite beautifully to bring a save from Friedel,
It’s pushed out for a corner as the half-time break is neared,
But in keeping with all others it was very easily cleared.

So the scrappy half is ended, to the accompaniment of boos,
Exclusively from Rovers’ fans, who are about to blow a fuse,
Neither ‘keeper’s really worked and one thing’s very sure,
As a spectacle in the Premiership it’s been very, very poor.

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In the first half of this game we were totally unmoved,
And one thing is quite obvious; it simply has to be improved,
The half-time talk, I have no doubt, would be extremely terse,
For Steve McClaren would surely know, it couldn’t get much worse.

Everyone must work so hard; it’s no time now for slackers,
And Boro now show their intent by playing with two attackers,
Nemeth’s on for Parnaby and must be overjoyed,
To double up the strike force, alongside Jimmy Floyd.

Within about a minute began the Rovers’ clear torment,
When JFH declared to all his own avowed intent,
He dropped a shoulder; bypassed Gray and stole about a yard,
His feet were switched; he rifled one; past Friedel, low and hard.

That’s what we’d been waiting for; now everyone rejoices,
Including Al and Bernie and you can hear it in their voices,
But Rovers won’t surrender and they’re not about to waive,
And a free kick tested Schwarzer, who did very well to save.

But Jimmy has his tail up and that one readily understands,
Then he missed an opportunity and finished up head in hands,
He dallied for a moment when it seemed the end was nigh,
And Mendi followed up and rifled one so awfully high.

The Rovers are now struggling and they’re riddled with big holes,
A golden opportunity for the Boro to score more goals?
But the next name on the scorers’ list is something of a mystery,
It’s non-other than George Boateng, who’s created Boro history.

Two years or so it’s taken, to score his very first goal,
And a game that once had looked a chore has now become a stroll,
To huge applause he rifled home; the ‘keeper left to grope,
For George it was incredible but for Friedel? Not a hope!

Still Rovers won’t lie down and a rather poor McMahon clearance,
Gifted the ball to Emerton who had made a swift appearance,
Then Schwarzer’s save from Djorkaeff had the Boro fans all beaming,
Some thought the ball had crossed the line but they were only dreaming.

Downing was unlucky when he got the ball from Szil,
And he drove hard at the Rovers, who are rapidly going downhill,
He cut in and released one after doing all the good work,
But it drifted narrowly wide and on the wrong side of the woodwork.

Soon Rovers were dispirited; something surely had to give,
With so many gaps appearing they resembled a huge sieve,
Boro scored a third and Rovers lost all interest,
Their defence has far more holes in it than Rab Nesbitt’s old string vest.

Another wondrous cross from the foot of Stewart Downing,
As Rovers’ floodgates fail again they’re quite obviously drowning,
He dropped the ball quite beautifully, right on to Jimmy’s dome,
“Thank you, my son,” said Jimmy, as he quickly slid it home.

Downing’s in full flow and like the cat that’s got the cream,
His pinpointed ball to Boateng was really like a dream,
He couldn’t make it count but “Thank you, son,” I saw him miming,
“That ball was simply brilliant but, sadly, not my timing.”

Matteo gets a yellow card as Rovers’ woes increase,
In a half that’s seen the Boro ‘paint’ an honest masterpiece,
Stead comes on in place of Dickov, who’s now looking quite distraught,
And pony-tailed Amoruso’s then replaced by colleague Short.

Great reflex save by Friedel, who displayed the utmost skill,
To parry one from twenty yards from the foot of Slovak, Szil,
Then Blackburn forced a corner that was squandered, furthermore,
Boro broke so quickly and it looked like number four.

Stewart Downing’s corner, which then Riggott headed down,
Brought a save from Friedel, a man of such renown,
Mendi thumped the ball on goal: he certainly got to clout it,
Though Friedel saved, I think he’d say, he knew not much about it.

This away-day for the Boro fans is really one to relish,
But for Rovers, every moment, makes it just a bit more hellish,
Djorkaeff thought he’d scored then stood disconsolate, head bowed,
Though he sarcastically thanked the linesman, the ‘goal’ was rightly disallowed.

A quite brilliant turn from Nemeth, then once more Jimmy was released,
And he had the opportunity to turn this lunch into a feast,
He was perhaps a little greedy, which I can fully understand,
But if he’d made his tally three then he’d have been in Wonderland.

With only moments left to play, Jimmy wasn’t to be denied,
His shot was quite unstoppable and he stood there goggle-eyed,
Amid a sea of jubilation, oh what pleasure we derive,
It’s four-nil for the Boro and we now move up to five.

After a first half in which Jimmy hardly ever had a kick,
He proved his worth to Boro with a wonderful hat-trick,
Things right now are looking rosy and hopes all around increase,
Let’s shout it all in unison, “Come on lads! Roll on Greece!

Surely now Egaleo can not burst the Boro bubble,
And, to those of you who’re travelling, do be good! Keep out of trouble!
I hear that Bernie’s going to check the flora and the fauna,
But the grapevine has a whisper that the latter should read “Sauna.”