Since we last beat Chelsea four years have almost gone,
So many fans would surely think that we now owe them one,
And after they have spent millions of Russian roubles,
Can we possibly be the ones to cause them massive troubles?

I see Jose Mourinho; he’s sure a real cool dude!
Signing autographs for fans as they are getting in the mood,
They’re up for a game that looks a real, mean toughie,
Then comes the silent tribute to ‘Old Big Ead,’ Cloughie.

The indications are the result may well be very tight,
But the chance of Boro victory, I’d say, is only slight,
With just a single goal conceded in their six games played to date,
Combined with Boro’s lack of clean sheets, we can only speculate.

Boro force an early corner and Parnaby leads the cavalcade,
With the bench shouting like fury, “You don’t need to be afraid,”
The ball comes in from Zenden: plucked from the air by Cech,
Who set up a Chelsea counter and rolled it out along the deck.

The Blues are streaming forward and the cross is quite audacious,
But Boro thwart the movement with defending quite tenacious,
The ball is aimed at Drogba: he of the golden boots,
Then Parnaby quickly clears and the bench, as one, salutes.

Drogba curled the ball in, when running at full pelt,
Thankfully, Southgate saw the danger, with which he quickly dealt,
Then came a rasping shot from the boot of Alexei Smertin,
And though Schwarzer somehow saved it, his fingers must be hurtin’,

Old Warhorse Colin Cooper made a fantastic headed clearance,
When Chelsea’s Paulo Ferreira showed amazing perseverance,
But the pressure was persistent and Lampard released a screamer,
And once again ‘twas Schwarzer who proved Boro’s redeemer.

The Blue Menace of Chelsea forced an almighty scramble, then,
Jimmy Floyd is badly hurt and Boro are down to ten,
As Cooper once more rescues us and play again then switches,
JFH is stretchered off and is soon receiving stitches.

John Terry was the ‘culprit’ and his foot was really high,
But he wasn’t even cautioned and that begs the question, “Why?”
Then more news filtered through: there’s perhaps ten stitches to insert,
But ten minutes later he reappeared wearing a badly bloodied shirt.

Lampard’s ball to Makelele, who then so brilliantly killed it,
Smertin found the target and then Schwarzer somehow spilled it,
Once more to Boro’s rescue rides up Coops who really shines,
He’s alert to instant danger and he, thankfully, clears his lines.

With Duff applying pressure and exerting Boro eagerly,
Drogba’s eased out of the way by Queudrue, totally legally,
As the brilliant ball came in he was given just the slightest nudge,
By French Franck who had stood his ground and was not prepared to budge.

Zenden’s brought down cynically with blame instantly apportioned,
After he had quickly pleaded innocence, we saw Carvalho verbally cautioned,
From the free kick Chelsea broke and Boateng’s caught between two stools,
And though he managed to intercept he had broken all the rules.

With thirty minutes played the Boro wriggled off the hook,
When Drogba struck the crossbar, and how the woodwork shook!
But it hadn’t crossed the line and the flag was not unfurled,
And Boro breathed again with Schwarzer beaten to the world.

Parlour looks in trouble although I hesitate to mention,
But he’s clutching at his knee and obviously needing some attention,
He will take no further part, and every Boro fan bemoans,
Our injury list is growing and we’re down to the bare bones.

With Man. U. on the horizon and don't forget the brilliant Czechs,
Let’s pray these nasty injuries are not a millstone around our necks,
Joseph Job is on now with the score at zero-zero,
Can he break the stranglehold and become an instant Boro hero?

The constant Chelsea pressure still continues to escalate,
And Drogba gets another chance placed precisely on a plate,
That’s six fantastic balls but thankfully he has not improved,
Yet Mourinho simply sits there and is, as ever, totally unmoved.

In time added on the Boro finally found the chance to press,
But half time can’t come soon enough, I really must confess,
The first half has been torrid: we’ve been running ‘round in rings,
And Chelsea, to be truthful, have been pulling all the strings.

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The game’s about to restart and we hope for something better,
Is Jimmy Floyd about to become the game’s latest trendsetter?
Because his kit’s still bloodied after being so badly hurt,
The rules insist he changes and now he’s wearing Ugo’s shirt.

The Boro fans are singing but will their favourites now respond?
Or will it require much more than McClaren’s magic wand?
Current thoughts of Boro victory would, quite truly, make me laugh,
For we have just one – that’s Jimmy Floyd – inside the Chelsea half.

Despite spending a huge fortune The Blues are certainly not prolific,
But in defence, it must be said, they’re really quite terrific,
And when Boro won a corner, which Zenden chose to take,
The visitors cleared so easily and then left us in their wake.

Job’s ball picked out Viduka, though it was only half a chance,
And the big man narrowly failed to get a really telling glance,
Sadly, Zenden failed to react, as he hadn’t done his sums,
When he should have certainly been there, ready to pick up any crumbs.

Smertin gets a caution for pulling Zenden to the ground,
And Queudrue pushes on to try and turn this game around,
But the kick, taken by Southgate, can be best described as ‘rank,’
And the captain, to his credit, did then apologise to Franck.

Boro thought they’d won a ‘pen’ and a chance for making merry,
When a rocket from young Parnaby struck the outstretched arm of Terry,
There was, perhaps, good reason for the way the Boro cried,
But it never was a ‘pen’ because it happened just outside.

Smertin’s time out on the field is hanging by a thread,
For the way that he’s behaving he will soon be seeing red,
But manager Mourinho’s obviously having similar thoughts,
So he takes him off, with Gudjohnsen who is also out of sorts.

It’s Kezman and Tiago coming on, or so I hear,
Then from the Boro crowd we have the longest, loudest cheer,
It’s for local lad Stewart Downing who some feel is being snubbed,
He’s on for the injured Job so it’s a sub that’s being subbed.

Schwarzer’s well positioned and once more saves the Boro’s bacon,
When he parried a ball from Gallas, whose miss left him rather shaken,
Lampard took the corner with things looking somewhat grave,
Until Schwarzer then took full control and made a super save.

Franck Queudrue then sold himself and so let Kezman in,
He’s on the wrong side of his man and therefore could not win,
Lampard missed the ball because he couldn’t climb enough,
And the move then quickly ended with an awful shot from Duff.

Downing puts across a beauty, much to everyone’s delight,
But Cech, in goal for Chelsea, plucked the ball when at its height,
Then a speedy break by Duff, which left the visitors’ faces redder,
When Drogba unbelievably missed another simple header.

That was yet another warning that we really have to heed,
But Boro, to a man, seem to be waiting to concede,
And, sure enough, it came when Boro’s defence was finally cracked,
Courtesy of Lampard’s ball to Drogba, who was really swift to act.

Franck had bought a dummy and his foul was quite a silly ‘n,
And up stepped Mr. Drogba, who cost ‘just’ 24 million,
A simple Lampard touch, they’d obviously practised to perfection,
The rest was left to ‘Golden Boots’ and he justified selection.

So, another bad day at the office, but I guess we needn’t panic,
We can’t lose again on Thursday, can we, when we once more take on Banik?
The lads were not too good today but if that is Boro’s best,
Then the projected league position must be speedily assessed.